Post by Chris Casino on Jan 26, 2007 0:48:11 GMT -5
"It's no secret that I'm the greatest in ring performer NAPW has. Of course you'll always have your haters who will claim otherwise but (BLEEP) 'em. I am Chris Casino. The first man to win the Triple Crown, the only man to be a Grand Slam winner and I'm currently the most dominate Pure Honor Champion of all time. But still people talk. They make their silly claims to greatness when they know they can't hold a candle to me. We all know that Bob Ravager is an overrated street urchin. It's no secret that DX are only tag champions because of backstage politics and weak competition. Hell, even Mr. Goody Goody Evan Cartwright thinks he's God's gift to wrestling. But then again Evan also has all the seasons of Will & Grace in his DVD collection. These men aspire to be me. They dream of becoming....Untouchable. But wait, I left out someone. You know who I'm thinking of right? That moron Lloyd Rees. I'm afraid his mouth just wrote a check his ass can't cash."
Inside the posh house of one Chris Casino we find our real American hero hard at work in the kitchen. Mixing a drink. While Casino lets the "little people" clean his house and make sure his lawn is well taken care of, no one and I mean no one is allowed to mix Casino a drink. Why? Because they'll never get it right. Casino takes great pride in his liqueur skills. Then again his father taught him how to fix a martini at the age of six. But we're getting off the subject. Casino is dressed casually in an Untouchables tee shirt and a pair of blue jeans. He hasn't shaved in a few days and he's looking even more ruggedly handsome than ever. Chris Casino is the guy you all aspire to be.
Casino: You know I can put up with a lot of things. Like for instance I can live with the fact that Ravager is a pussy and will never face me in a one on one match. I can deal with that, that's just how Ravager is. I can also understand how a garbage wrestler with no skills can be in next weeks so called main event. I'm talking about Billy of course. Good old Billy. The man who once tried to fill my shoes and failed miserably. Tell me Billy, how does it feel to win the Canadian Cup and then find yourself unable to get the title shot you earned. I bet it eats you up inside. I know this because we're coming up on the one year anniversary that I lost the NAPW Heavyweight Title to D!. Everyday I wake up knowing that I was screwed out of a rematch by the NAPW brass. But it's cool....They'll soon learn that Chris Casino always gets even.
Casino pulls out a chair and sits at the kitchen table. A sly smile on his face.
Casino: We have "Perfection" Evan Cartwright. Well, the less said about him the better. He deserves that title about as much as Wayne Wright does. With luck both him and Ravager will kill each other at Cold Snap and NAPW will hand that belt over to me. But knowing how this company works they'll probably award it to some retard like Simply Beautiful or something. By the way, I'm glad that Simply Beautiful has found a home in mid card Hell. It suits his talents. Bastard.
Casino: Then of course we have my new friend Lloyd Rees. A man who actually went on television and said that he deserved to main event next week because well...Just because. Mr. Rees has the audacity to ask the world "what hasn't he done in NAPW." Let me help you out there scout. For starters you've never beaten me. Second you've never held four separate titles. Third you're a complete joke, you and your manager Captain Salty Balls need to hit the bricks before The Untouchables fit you with some cement shoes.
Casino: Rees, I'm sure in whatever fantasy world you live in you really belive that you're a great wrestler. Hell I bet Salty even boosts your ego with his incomprehensible speeches. Rees you live in a world of make belive. I'm reality. I'm the hottest thing going in NAPW. Period. You know why you were a main eventer Rees? It was because I wasn't around. You held your Heavyweight Titles while I was in exile from a company I helped build. You struggled to beat Evan while I beat him in my first match out. Rees...You suck.
We hear the footsteps of someone walking towards the kitchen area. Casino looks concerned. The heavy footfalls sound like someone is wearing heavy boots. Maybe even lobster boots.
Casino: (worried) Are you kidding me? That's can't be Rees...Can it?
Casino bolts up from the table and we pan around to see.....A man dressed like Popeye The Sailor Man.
Fake Rees: (doing the popeye laugh) Tis me ya mangy mongrel!
The camera pans back to a snickering Casino.
Casino: Damn you Rees. Damn you and your four star promos.
Fake Rees: Yers Lucky I aints got my Salty wit me!
Casino: Looking at you, hearing you talk it's no wonder why you're a former two time heavyweight Champion Rees.
Fake Rees: Arggggghh It's cause I'm da baddest lobster man in all da wourld.
Casino: indeeeeeeeed.
Fake Rees: Tis Toosday I'll win that there main event and then....
Casino: Oh here it comes, the vicious Rees promo ender!
Fake Rees: You'll feel the wraith of da "Lemondrop Kid!"
Casino simply shakes his head.
Casino: It's like...Looking in a mirror. I could swear that Lloyd Rees was actually standing in my kitchen.
The Fake Rees smiles. The boss is happy, thus He knows he's getting paid.
Casino: Rees you wanna take a jab at me? You better come with something better than your lobster boy act. As far as I'm concerned, you're nothing more than a joke. I'll see you soon enough Lloyd. Bet on it.
Casino dismisses both us and the oddly dressed man in his house.
* Cut to a commercial for Taylors Legal Aid. We'll get you your cash fast! We wouldn't lie to you! *
Casino's Base Of Operations. Canada.
[/center]Inside the posh house of one Chris Casino we find our real American hero hard at work in the kitchen. Mixing a drink. While Casino lets the "little people" clean his house and make sure his lawn is well taken care of, no one and I mean no one is allowed to mix Casino a drink. Why? Because they'll never get it right. Casino takes great pride in his liqueur skills. Then again his father taught him how to fix a martini at the age of six. But we're getting off the subject. Casino is dressed casually in an Untouchables tee shirt and a pair of blue jeans. He hasn't shaved in a few days and he's looking even more ruggedly handsome than ever. Chris Casino is the guy you all aspire to be.
Casino: You know I can put up with a lot of things. Like for instance I can live with the fact that Ravager is a pussy and will never face me in a one on one match. I can deal with that, that's just how Ravager is. I can also understand how a garbage wrestler with no skills can be in next weeks so called main event. I'm talking about Billy of course. Good old Billy. The man who once tried to fill my shoes and failed miserably. Tell me Billy, how does it feel to win the Canadian Cup and then find yourself unable to get the title shot you earned. I bet it eats you up inside. I know this because we're coming up on the one year anniversary that I lost the NAPW Heavyweight Title to D!. Everyday I wake up knowing that I was screwed out of a rematch by the NAPW brass. But it's cool....They'll soon learn that Chris Casino always gets even.
Casino pulls out a chair and sits at the kitchen table. A sly smile on his face.
Casino: We have "Perfection" Evan Cartwright. Well, the less said about him the better. He deserves that title about as much as Wayne Wright does. With luck both him and Ravager will kill each other at Cold Snap and NAPW will hand that belt over to me. But knowing how this company works they'll probably award it to some retard like Simply Beautiful or something. By the way, I'm glad that Simply Beautiful has found a home in mid card Hell. It suits his talents. Bastard.
Casino: Then of course we have my new friend Lloyd Rees. A man who actually went on television and said that he deserved to main event next week because well...Just because. Mr. Rees has the audacity to ask the world "what hasn't he done in NAPW." Let me help you out there scout. For starters you've never beaten me. Second you've never held four separate titles. Third you're a complete joke, you and your manager Captain Salty Balls need to hit the bricks before The Untouchables fit you with some cement shoes.
Casino: Rees, I'm sure in whatever fantasy world you live in you really belive that you're a great wrestler. Hell I bet Salty even boosts your ego with his incomprehensible speeches. Rees you live in a world of make belive. I'm reality. I'm the hottest thing going in NAPW. Period. You know why you were a main eventer Rees? It was because I wasn't around. You held your Heavyweight Titles while I was in exile from a company I helped build. You struggled to beat Evan while I beat him in my first match out. Rees...You suck.
We hear the footsteps of someone walking towards the kitchen area. Casino looks concerned. The heavy footfalls sound like someone is wearing heavy boots. Maybe even lobster boots.
Casino: (worried) Are you kidding me? That's can't be Rees...Can it?
Casino bolts up from the table and we pan around to see.....A man dressed like Popeye The Sailor Man.
Fake Rees: (doing the popeye laugh) Tis me ya mangy mongrel!
The camera pans back to a snickering Casino.
Casino: Damn you Rees. Damn you and your four star promos.
Fake Rees: Yers Lucky I aints got my Salty wit me!
Casino: Looking at you, hearing you talk it's no wonder why you're a former two time heavyweight Champion Rees.
Fake Rees: Arggggghh It's cause I'm da baddest lobster man in all da wourld.
Casino: indeeeeeeeed.
Fake Rees: Tis Toosday I'll win that there main event and then....
Casino: Oh here it comes, the vicious Rees promo ender!
Fake Rees: You'll feel the wraith of da "Lemondrop Kid!"
Casino simply shakes his head.
Casino: It's like...Looking in a mirror. I could swear that Lloyd Rees was actually standing in my kitchen.
The Fake Rees smiles. The boss is happy, thus He knows he's getting paid.
Casino: Rees you wanna take a jab at me? You better come with something better than your lobster boy act. As far as I'm concerned, you're nothing more than a joke. I'll see you soon enough Lloyd. Bet on it.
Casino dismisses both us and the oddly dressed man in his house.
* Cut to a commercial for Taylors Legal Aid. We'll get you your cash fast! We wouldn't lie to you! *