Post by "LDK" Lloyd Rees on Jan 25, 2007 14:53:30 GMT -5
~We open in Kamloops, British Columbia, inside the Mountain Suite of the Sun Peaks Resort. This is the temporary home of “The Lemondrop kid” Lloyd Rees and “Manager t’da Stars, Ol’Salty on the Western league of the Cold Snap tour. The evil Newfie duo seem to be settled in. A few cases of both Black Horse and India Beer are stacked in the corner and the Harry Hibb’s album “A Fifth of Harry” plays in the background. There is a pleasant look on Lloyd’s face, a look of satisfaction almost. He takes a large gulp from his open India Beer and starts to speak.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Finally! Finally someone has noticed d’hat “Da Lemondrop Kid” has made his triumphant return t’da NAPW and signed me in a match worthy of me skill. Not some silly Grudge Match with Patrick Bickle who I wiped da floor with in a fraction of a second…NO! Dis match is on a Pay-Per-View level! A Four Way Survival Match! But, some people don’t seem t’tink d’hat “Da East Coast Sensation” is worthy of such a match…Casino, where da hell do ya get off? Ask’n what have I done? Who da hell are you? Da question reads more like dis Chris, what haven’t I done? So, keep yer wine’n and cry’n t’yerself, worry about protect’n d’hat useless rusty strap wrapped around yer waist, and don’t stick yer nose in where it doesn’t belong – The hunt fer da NAPW Championship! Yer right in say’n one ting though Casino, ya don’t know me and let’s hope fer you and yer historic Pure Waste of Talent Title reign’s sake d’hat it stays d’hat way…
Ol’Salty: “If he died tomorrow ya could care less?!” Gees! D’hat’s a bit harsh don’t ya tink b’y…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Now d’hat I’ve wasted enough of me precious breath address’n Larry Casino, let me turn me attention t’dis weeks Tuesday Night Fights Main Event. Like I said earlier, finally a match worthy of star’n “Da Lemondrop Kid” has been signed. A Four Way Survival Match where me list of victims reads more like a whose who of da NAPW. Da first NAPW and two time Provincial Champion and former NAPW Champion, Ravager, da 2007 Canada Cup winner and former NAPW Tag Champion, “Sick” Billy Kryenik, and me good buddy, former NAPW Tag Champion, former three time NAPW Provincial Champion, and da currant NAPW Champion, “Perfection” Evan Cartwright…Looks like da cards are stacked against ol’Lloyd Rees dis time. Maybe someone isn’t do’n “Da Lemondrop Kid” a favor by sign’n him t’dis epic match…TINK AGAIN!!
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Dis is me fast track back t’da top. After I make examples of d’ese three Larrys da NAPW will have no chance but t’give me a shot at what so rightfully belongs t’me anyways, da NAPW Championship…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Ravager, we have crossed paths twice in me illustrious career. Da first time was back in May, May 1st, 2006 at Complete Control t’be exact. We were on opposite sides of da ring in a little match called War Games. Yer team consist’n of a bunch of wash ups, D!, Static, and Rex Caliber. Me team, more pieces of crap, Devastation, Pit Boss, and me former friend Baymen Jakey. Da only highlight of da entire match was when I was handed out chairshots alla David Banks t’anyone and everyone d’hat got in me way. Da only reason ya walked out with yer hands held high d’hat night is cause I allowed it! Our second meet’n was back in November in d’hat same year. It was a tag match. Yer partner, da NAPW Champion at da time, Patrick Bickle and me, I was teamed with me favorite wrestler, Evan Cartwirght. You we’re just a pawn in dis match…A watcher! Preview’n what I was go’n t’do t’Patrick Bickle just two weeks later when I regained me NAPW Championship. Now, I know yer say’n t’yerself…
~Lloyd puts on his best Brooklyn accent.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: “Thank you for the history lesson Lloyd, but where exactly is this going?” It’s go’n t’da same place as yer career! NOWHERE!! Yer title reigns and hoopla here in da NAPW have been noting but flukes and lucky wins. But, d’hat all runs out dis Tuesday when ya step into da ring with me. Who knows maybe you’ll be the lucky winner of a Conception Bay Chinlock! Salty, hand me another beer! Me mouth is get’n dry!
~Ol’Salty hands Lloyd another India Beer. Lloyd quickly pops it open, takes a large swig, and to the amusement of us all, continues to talk.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: D’hat brings me t’me second opponent fer Tuesday, “Sick” Billy Kryenik. A man I know very little about, we have never met in da squared-circle, which is a shame fer all involved in da NAPW. Ya see, I figure Mr. Kryenik t’be da wild card in dis match. He has nothing t’lose and everyting t’gain. What a win over “Da East Coast Sensation” would do fer ya, hell, what it would do fer anyone? Its yer chance t’make it t’da big time Billy! A Chance t’stop f**k’n around with da likes of Da Untouchables and step up t’some real talent, take yer place where everyone in da NAPW knows ya belong but, on da other had, ya do have d’hat free ticket fer a shot at a title of yer choose’n. So, here is me advice t’you oh sick one. Hold on t’d’hat title shot for da prefect moment. Wait till “Da Lemondrop Kid” is once again NAPW Champion, cash in d’hat ticket, and come take on a real Champion. Christ, even if you lose t’da Technical Terror, it be better d’han beat’n Cartwright or Ravager. At least ya could tell yer grand children d’hat ya had da opportunity t’step into da ring with a wrestler of me talents…
~The beers are going down faster now and Lloyd stands up to grab another. With the beer open he turns his attention back to the camera.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Now, befer I go and kill da rest of dis India and chalk it up with the lovely ladies of Kamloops with Salty and Banks I better at least say a few words about me buddy, me friend, me favorite wrestler in da NAPW, “Perfection”. I wouldn’t want t’offend him, cause I know how sensitive he is. Evan, once again it looks like our paths are on a collision course. Hell, how many times is dis fer me and you, got t’be right around fifty or so. Beside meself, dis match is probably most important t’you. Big Champ does’t want t’go into da Pay-Per-View with a loss under his belt now does he? In fact, I would want t’see ya lose steamand and drop d’hat belt t’Ravager at Cold Snap, no! I want t’be da one to uncrown ya and even our little rivalry at two a piece…
Ol’Salty: Ya know someting though Lloyd b’y?
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: What’s d’hat Salty?
Ol’Salty: D’ese fellas do have one ting in common…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: What do ya tink d’ese three have in common?
Ol’Salty: Can’t imagine either one of d’hem likes you t’much…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: F**k’em…Call Banks, let’s go tear up Kamloops!
~Both Lloyd and Ol’Salty grab a road soda as they head into Kamloops, BC.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Finally! Finally someone has noticed d’hat “Da Lemondrop Kid” has made his triumphant return t’da NAPW and signed me in a match worthy of me skill. Not some silly Grudge Match with Patrick Bickle who I wiped da floor with in a fraction of a second…NO! Dis match is on a Pay-Per-View level! A Four Way Survival Match! But, some people don’t seem t’tink d’hat “Da East Coast Sensation” is worthy of such a match…Casino, where da hell do ya get off? Ask’n what have I done? Who da hell are you? Da question reads more like dis Chris, what haven’t I done? So, keep yer wine’n and cry’n t’yerself, worry about protect’n d’hat useless rusty strap wrapped around yer waist, and don’t stick yer nose in where it doesn’t belong – The hunt fer da NAPW Championship! Yer right in say’n one ting though Casino, ya don’t know me and let’s hope fer you and yer historic Pure Waste of Talent Title reign’s sake d’hat it stays d’hat way…
Ol’Salty: “If he died tomorrow ya could care less?!” Gees! D’hat’s a bit harsh don’t ya tink b’y…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Now d’hat I’ve wasted enough of me precious breath address’n Larry Casino, let me turn me attention t’dis weeks Tuesday Night Fights Main Event. Like I said earlier, finally a match worthy of star’n “Da Lemondrop Kid” has been signed. A Four Way Survival Match where me list of victims reads more like a whose who of da NAPW. Da first NAPW and two time Provincial Champion and former NAPW Champion, Ravager, da 2007 Canada Cup winner and former NAPW Tag Champion, “Sick” Billy Kryenik, and me good buddy, former NAPW Tag Champion, former three time NAPW Provincial Champion, and da currant NAPW Champion, “Perfection” Evan Cartwright…Looks like da cards are stacked against ol’Lloyd Rees dis time. Maybe someone isn’t do’n “Da Lemondrop Kid” a favor by sign’n him t’dis epic match…TINK AGAIN!!
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Dis is me fast track back t’da top. After I make examples of d’ese three Larrys da NAPW will have no chance but t’give me a shot at what so rightfully belongs t’me anyways, da NAPW Championship…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Ravager, we have crossed paths twice in me illustrious career. Da first time was back in May, May 1st, 2006 at Complete Control t’be exact. We were on opposite sides of da ring in a little match called War Games. Yer team consist’n of a bunch of wash ups, D!, Static, and Rex Caliber. Me team, more pieces of crap, Devastation, Pit Boss, and me former friend Baymen Jakey. Da only highlight of da entire match was when I was handed out chairshots alla David Banks t’anyone and everyone d’hat got in me way. Da only reason ya walked out with yer hands held high d’hat night is cause I allowed it! Our second meet’n was back in November in d’hat same year. It was a tag match. Yer partner, da NAPW Champion at da time, Patrick Bickle and me, I was teamed with me favorite wrestler, Evan Cartwirght. You we’re just a pawn in dis match…A watcher! Preview’n what I was go’n t’do t’Patrick Bickle just two weeks later when I regained me NAPW Championship. Now, I know yer say’n t’yerself…
~Lloyd puts on his best Brooklyn accent.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: “Thank you for the history lesson Lloyd, but where exactly is this going?” It’s go’n t’da same place as yer career! NOWHERE!! Yer title reigns and hoopla here in da NAPW have been noting but flukes and lucky wins. But, d’hat all runs out dis Tuesday when ya step into da ring with me. Who knows maybe you’ll be the lucky winner of a Conception Bay Chinlock! Salty, hand me another beer! Me mouth is get’n dry!
~Ol’Salty hands Lloyd another India Beer. Lloyd quickly pops it open, takes a large swig, and to the amusement of us all, continues to talk.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: D’hat brings me t’me second opponent fer Tuesday, “Sick” Billy Kryenik. A man I know very little about, we have never met in da squared-circle, which is a shame fer all involved in da NAPW. Ya see, I figure Mr. Kryenik t’be da wild card in dis match. He has nothing t’lose and everyting t’gain. What a win over “Da East Coast Sensation” would do fer ya, hell, what it would do fer anyone? Its yer chance t’make it t’da big time Billy! A Chance t’stop f**k’n around with da likes of Da Untouchables and step up t’some real talent, take yer place where everyone in da NAPW knows ya belong but, on da other had, ya do have d’hat free ticket fer a shot at a title of yer choose’n. So, here is me advice t’you oh sick one. Hold on t’d’hat title shot for da prefect moment. Wait till “Da Lemondrop Kid” is once again NAPW Champion, cash in d’hat ticket, and come take on a real Champion. Christ, even if you lose t’da Technical Terror, it be better d’han beat’n Cartwright or Ravager. At least ya could tell yer grand children d’hat ya had da opportunity t’step into da ring with a wrestler of me talents…
~The beers are going down faster now and Lloyd stands up to grab another. With the beer open he turns his attention back to the camera.~
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Now, befer I go and kill da rest of dis India and chalk it up with the lovely ladies of Kamloops with Salty and Banks I better at least say a few words about me buddy, me friend, me favorite wrestler in da NAPW, “Perfection”. I wouldn’t want t’offend him, cause I know how sensitive he is. Evan, once again it looks like our paths are on a collision course. Hell, how many times is dis fer me and you, got t’be right around fifty or so. Beside meself, dis match is probably most important t’you. Big Champ does’t want t’go into da Pay-Per-View with a loss under his belt now does he? In fact, I would want t’see ya lose steamand and drop d’hat belt t’Ravager at Cold Snap, no! I want t’be da one to uncrown ya and even our little rivalry at two a piece…
Ol’Salty: Ya know someting though Lloyd b’y?
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: What’s d’hat Salty?
Ol’Salty: D’ese fellas do have one ting in common…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: What do ya tink d’ese three have in common?
Ol’Salty: Can’t imagine either one of d’hem likes you t’much…
“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: F**k’em…Call Banks, let’s go tear up Kamloops!
~Both Lloyd and Ol’Salty grab a road soda as they head into Kamloops, BC.~