Lawsuit! 2

[Stylin' Kyle Roberts [REBEL]]

(Note: this roleplay takes place before Friday Night Whyte.)

(Scene: NAPW Head Office. Kyle Roberts stands just outside the doorway, planning his strategy.)

KYLE ROBERTS: Okay. So, I need a NAPW rulebook. The NAPW office has GOT to have one. So all I have to do is sweettalk Amanda, the secretary. It shouldn't be too hard, since she's quite the fox. And if there's one thing this hound dog knows, it's how to snare a fox.

(Roberts enters the office. At the reception desk is a 45-year-old woman with thinning hair and a weight problem. If you think this woman's a fox, put down the crack pipe and let me slap you repeatedly.)

KYLE ROBERTS: GAH! I mean, hel-LO there. Um, where's Amanda?

RECEPTIONIST: She's sick. I'm her replacement.

KYLE ROBERTS: Oh. They let warthog- (catches himself, mutters "I need the rulebook. I NEED the rulebook.") They let the cute girls temp?

RECEPTIONIST: And you are?

KYLE ROBERTS: Kyle Roberts. Tag team champion. And (grimaces and gulps) YOUR fantasy come true.

RECEPTIONIST: (giggles) Oh, you.

KYLE ROBERTS: (sits on desk) So, come here often?

RECEPTIONIST: It's my first day.

KYLE ROBERTS: So, you know where things are yet?

RECEPTIONIST: Well, Mr. Winchell's been pretty, um, HELPFUL so far.

KYLE ROBERTS: (sotto voice) I'm sure he has. Deviant.

RECEPTIONIST: Pardon?

KYLE ROBERTS: I said I'm sure the man's a genius!

RECEPTIONIST: He's a fun man. And his wife doesn't understand him at all.

KYLE ROBERTS: You know, I'm sorry but I don't know your name. Bertha?

RECEPTIONIST: Close. It's Bernice.

KYLE ROBERTS: Ah. Bernice. I don't mean to be fresh, here, but I was enraptured by your eyes.

BERNICE: Really?

KYLE ROBERTS: Yes. Does the one ALWAYS list to the side there? I MEAN! They are such an odd shade of blue.

BERNICE: Well, they ARE brown.

KYLE ROBERTS: Right. Bernice, if I were to ask if I'd be able to find a specific document in this office to copy, where do you think I'd look?

BERNICE: Well, it depends on which document you're looking for. (A man walks into the office.) Oh, Kyle, do you mind if I help this gentleman?

KYLE ROBERTS: My dear, every second you help him will be an eternity in darkness.

BERNICE: Welcome to New Alberta Pro Wrestling, may I help you?

MAN: Yes. Could I get a NAPW rulebook?

BERNICE: Why, certainly. (pulls open drawer and takes out a copy of the rules) Here you go.

MAN: Thank you. (He leaves.)

BERNICE: You're welcome. (She turns back to Kyle, whose mouth dropped open once the drawer full of rulebooks was opened.) So, where were we?

KYLE ROBERTS: Could...I get a...rulebook?

BERNICE: Of course. What are you willing to do to get it, cutie?

KYLE ROBERTS: Take a vow of chastity. (Roberts jumps over the counter, and takes a book out of the drawer.) YOINK! (He runs out the door.)

KYLE ROBERTS: (poking his head back in) By the way, try Atkins. (ducks back out)