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Post by Stylin' Kyle Roberts [REBEL] on Nov 22, 2005 1:24:14 GMT -5
(In the locker room, Kyle Roberts is working out lifting weights.)
KYLE ROBERTS: Five! <grunt> Ssssssssix! <grunt> God, is the whole freakin' roster on steroids? I'm barely able to lift 250 pounds without tearing a muscle! (Roberts replaces the barbells.) And I'M freakin' fit! It's just not possible for a kid who weights under 200 pounds to lift four times his body weight! Unless he's Spider-Man...or has a skeleton reinforced with unbreakable metal...
(A knock on the locker room door. Jack Jones pops his head in.)
JACK JONES: Hey, champ. You wanted to see me?
KYLE ROBERTS: (gets off the weight bench, and goes over to shake Jones' hand) Mr. Jack "Attack" Jones! So nice to FINALLY meet you. I'm a BIG fan of yours.
JACK JONES: What? Were you five or something?
KYLE ROBERTS: Well, eight when I started watching. But I've been a big fan of you ever since. I've even bought a whole bunch of old tapes from your days in Japan and your biography, "Jacked."
JACK JONES: That piece of tripe? I thought that Coastal Wrestling Carolina bought all those copies to protect their top babyfaces's reputations.
KYLE ROBERTS: eBay is one amazing place, Jack. Anyways, there's a reason I sent Josh Reynolds to find you: I want to register a beef with Commissioner Winchell.
JACK JONES: I'm not sure if I'm the guy you're looking for. I'm just paid to do the colour commentary on the air.
KYLE ROBERTS: Yeah, but Winchell likes you. He knew you from the Coastal days in North Carolina.
I know this is a new federation, but the stuff NAPW is pulling is SO not kosher. Have you ever seen a fed that doesn't accept rope breaks as a way to get out of a pin or submission before?
JACK JONES: Not really. Maybe one or two in the South.
KYLE ROBERTS: They don't count. They're hicks in Texas and Mississippi. We're up here in Alberta. The point is, this rule is totally unfair. Have you seen Bruce around?
JACK JONES: Not since the match.
KYLE ROBERTS: That's because he left as soon as he could. He was shouting and yelling about how it was bullshit! At these points, when Bruce is THIS mad, I let the Coach deal with it and stay the hell out of the way.
So that's why I want to file a complaint against the Decapitators and the ref of that match.
JACK JONES: I don't see what that would do. It's the federation that sets the rules.
KYLE ROBERTS: So I should file a complaint against New Alberta Pro? Or maybe a lawsuit! YEAH!
JACK JONES: I didn't say anything about a lawsuit, Kyle.
KYLE ROBERTS: I gotcha. Covering your ass, Jack? If you don't tell me about a lawsuit, I can't finger you as the guy who gave me the idea.
JACK JONES: But I DIDN'T give you the idea!
(Roberts smirks, and puts his finger to his nose)
KYLE ROBERTS: That's right. You certainly didn't.
So I wonder, does this mean that the Decapitators won't be able to fight us at the Pay Per View? All because if we were in any NORMAL federation, we wouldn't have lost that match. We'd be undefeated!
(Jack Jones shakes his head, and exits, leaving Kyle Roberts play out all sorts of scenarios in his head.)
If I sue that jackass "Wahoo" Winchell, what would happen then? Could I be NAPW Commissioner? Oh, wouldn't THAT be fun?
(Fade to black.)
KYLE ROBERTS: Five! <grunt> Ssssssssix! <grunt> God, is the whole freakin' roster on steroids? I'm barely able to lift 250 pounds without tearing a muscle! (Roberts replaces the barbells.) And I'M freakin' fit! It's just not possible for a kid who weights under 200 pounds to lift four times his body weight! Unless he's Spider-Man...or has a skeleton reinforced with unbreakable metal...
(A knock on the locker room door. Jack Jones pops his head in.)
JACK JONES: Hey, champ. You wanted to see me?
KYLE ROBERTS: (gets off the weight bench, and goes over to shake Jones' hand) Mr. Jack "Attack" Jones! So nice to FINALLY meet you. I'm a BIG fan of yours.
JACK JONES: What? Were you five or something?
KYLE ROBERTS: Well, eight when I started watching. But I've been a big fan of you ever since. I've even bought a whole bunch of old tapes from your days in Japan and your biography, "Jacked."
JACK JONES: That piece of tripe? I thought that Coastal Wrestling Carolina bought all those copies to protect their top babyfaces's reputations.
KYLE ROBERTS: eBay is one amazing place, Jack. Anyways, there's a reason I sent Josh Reynolds to find you: I want to register a beef with Commissioner Winchell.
JACK JONES: I'm not sure if I'm the guy you're looking for. I'm just paid to do the colour commentary on the air.
KYLE ROBERTS: Yeah, but Winchell likes you. He knew you from the Coastal days in North Carolina.
I know this is a new federation, but the stuff NAPW is pulling is SO not kosher. Have you ever seen a fed that doesn't accept rope breaks as a way to get out of a pin or submission before?
JACK JONES: Not really. Maybe one or two in the South.
KYLE ROBERTS: They don't count. They're hicks in Texas and Mississippi. We're up here in Alberta. The point is, this rule is totally unfair. Have you seen Bruce around?
JACK JONES: Not since the match.
KYLE ROBERTS: That's because he left as soon as he could. He was shouting and yelling about how it was bullshit! At these points, when Bruce is THIS mad, I let the Coach deal with it and stay the hell out of the way.
So that's why I want to file a complaint against the Decapitators and the ref of that match.
JACK JONES: I don't see what that would do. It's the federation that sets the rules.
KYLE ROBERTS: So I should file a complaint against New Alberta Pro? Or maybe a lawsuit! YEAH!
JACK JONES: I didn't say anything about a lawsuit, Kyle.
KYLE ROBERTS: I gotcha. Covering your ass, Jack? If you don't tell me about a lawsuit, I can't finger you as the guy who gave me the idea.
JACK JONES: But I DIDN'T give you the idea!
(Roberts smirks, and puts his finger to his nose)
KYLE ROBERTS: That's right. You certainly didn't.
So I wonder, does this mean that the Decapitators won't be able to fight us at the Pay Per View? All because if we were in any NORMAL federation, we wouldn't have lost that match. We'd be undefeated!
(Jack Jones shakes his head, and exits, leaving Kyle Roberts play out all sorts of scenarios in his head.)
If I sue that jackass "Wahoo" Winchell, what would happen then? Could I be NAPW Commissioner? Oh, wouldn't THAT be fun?
(Fade to black.)