Post by D! on Oct 28, 2005 23:55:42 GMT -5
Lights up. Backstage at NAPW. Interviewer Bill Fleming is addressing the camera.
FLEMING: . . . and with only a short time left to go, NAPW management has not seen any sign of the tag-team challengers calling themselves the New and Imp--
Fleming stops. Camera pans to reveal D! walking through the hallway.
FLEMING: Excuse me, D? D, I have a question--your opponent, the Viking, has been making a series of comments regarding your worth in a fight . . . do you care to comment?
D!: First of all, it's not "D", okay? You got the One Letter part right, but you're not doing the Said Real Loud bit. It's D! D! Try it.
FLEMING: D.
D!: D!
FLEMING: D!
D!: Yeah, what?
FLEMING: The question.
D!: Oh, right. (Turns to address camera.) Well, Viking, I guess you think you've scouted me out. Here I am, fresh from training, tonight's my first professional match, I must think I'm really good or something . . . you know, like Mozart. He wrote his first symphony when he was six years old . . . well, maybe that's not "competiton" enough for you. So . . . Tiger Woods! That's it! Won the Masters in his first year as a pro? (Pause.) On second thought, better not. Something tells me you might not be crazy about black people. So how about . . . Wayne Gretzky. The guy who made the Oilers first in the league in his rookie year? Young punk. Who ever talks about him? Gee, Viking, I guess there's never been anybody who just started out as the best in their game, no rookie who's ever set a standard that's never been broken. It's a complete impossibility!
And you . . . you've "been around the world dozens of times". In "every type of match possible". Wwwwwooooooowwwwwwwwww. You've done it all! I mean, you're the guy who's given us thrilling moments like . . . like . . . uh . . . you've . . . (Thinks.) Oh, wait, I remember when--no, that was Glacier.
But at least the Prez saw fit to give a legend like you a tune-up match, right? There's no way he's gonna give the goods to the fans right away. Man, that'll be great. Well, it's been fun! See you for my 8:00 ass-beating.
D! smiling, walks out of frame. Fleming looks mystified.
FLEMING: . . . that was the . . . unorthodox D! Now, who are the New and Improved--
D! storms back on camera.
D!: Un-LESS! Maybe, just maybe, there was a second possibility. Maybe you don't have a title shot because nobody, but nobody, knows or even gives a crap who you are! Maybe the Prez put you up against an "inexperienced punk" because he doesn't even know if you can lace your boots up properly! Maybe it's because he knows you keep moving around the world whenever people discover what a no-talent douchebag you are.
(Leans right up to camera lens.) Maybe its because he knows you always lose in your fancy matches. (Steps back.)
But I'm not saying that, Armor All, because I don't know the Prez. And I sure as Hell wouldnt judge him for anything less than his actions.
That's the difference between you and me, peanut. I wasn't prepare to hate you. I was looking foward to a great match, and I told you as much. But that's the problem when you hold out the olive branch. There's always some moron who'll throw it to the ground and rape it.
I told you right off the bat: if you falter, I will beat you. And the second you felt the need to threaten a little punk that you claim you're not afraid of, you did just that. You've already lost. (Smiles) I can't wait to Barrage you.
Grinning, D! exits. Fleming holds, then continues.
FLEMING: There's always excitement here in the NAPW! But let's talk about the Tag Team Titles . . .
Lights down.
FLEMING: . . . and with only a short time left to go, NAPW management has not seen any sign of the tag-team challengers calling themselves the New and Imp--
Fleming stops. Camera pans to reveal D! walking through the hallway.
FLEMING: Excuse me, D? D, I have a question--your opponent, the Viking, has been making a series of comments regarding your worth in a fight . . . do you care to comment?
D!: First of all, it's not "D", okay? You got the One Letter part right, but you're not doing the Said Real Loud bit. It's D! D! Try it.
FLEMING: D.
D!: D!
FLEMING: D!
D!: Yeah, what?
FLEMING: The question.
D!: Oh, right. (Turns to address camera.) Well, Viking, I guess you think you've scouted me out. Here I am, fresh from training, tonight's my first professional match, I must think I'm really good or something . . . you know, like Mozart. He wrote his first symphony when he was six years old . . . well, maybe that's not "competiton" enough for you. So . . . Tiger Woods! That's it! Won the Masters in his first year as a pro? (Pause.) On second thought, better not. Something tells me you might not be crazy about black people. So how about . . . Wayne Gretzky. The guy who made the Oilers first in the league in his rookie year? Young punk. Who ever talks about him? Gee, Viking, I guess there's never been anybody who just started out as the best in their game, no rookie who's ever set a standard that's never been broken. It's a complete impossibility!
And you . . . you've "been around the world dozens of times". In "every type of match possible". Wwwwwooooooowwwwwwwwww. You've done it all! I mean, you're the guy who's given us thrilling moments like . . . like . . . uh . . . you've . . . (Thinks.) Oh, wait, I remember when--no, that was Glacier.
But at least the Prez saw fit to give a legend like you a tune-up match, right? There's no way he's gonna give the goods to the fans right away. Man, that'll be great. Well, it's been fun! See you for my 8:00 ass-beating.
D! smiling, walks out of frame. Fleming looks mystified.
FLEMING: . . . that was the . . . unorthodox D! Now, who are the New and Improved--
D! storms back on camera.
D!: Un-LESS! Maybe, just maybe, there was a second possibility. Maybe you don't have a title shot because nobody, but nobody, knows or even gives a crap who you are! Maybe the Prez put you up against an "inexperienced punk" because he doesn't even know if you can lace your boots up properly! Maybe it's because he knows you keep moving around the world whenever people discover what a no-talent douchebag you are.
(Leans right up to camera lens.) Maybe its because he knows you always lose in your fancy matches. (Steps back.)
But I'm not saying that, Armor All, because I don't know the Prez. And I sure as Hell wouldnt judge him for anything less than his actions.
That's the difference between you and me, peanut. I wasn't prepare to hate you. I was looking foward to a great match, and I told you as much. But that's the problem when you hold out the olive branch. There's always some moron who'll throw it to the ground and rape it.
I told you right off the bat: if you falter, I will beat you. And the second you felt the need to threaten a little punk that you claim you're not afraid of, you did just that. You've already lost. (Smiles) I can't wait to Barrage you.
Grinning, D! exits. Fleming holds, then continues.
FLEMING: There's always excitement here in the NAPW! But let's talk about the Tag Team Titles . . .
Lights down.