Post by chopper on May 20, 2006 23:24:41 GMT -5
(The scene opens and we see a TV Studio complete with cameras, cameramen and of course a completely unbiased audience. A banner runs across the top of the set with the words “Chopper Power Hour” spelled out in diamonoids. Sitting in one seat we see our local ghetto hero dressed to impress in some of today’s finest Hip-Hop threads. Draped in jewels “The Platinum Champ” flashes his “Million Dollar Smile” for a few anxious ladies in the audience as they snap pictures of pimp. The director comes over to inform Chopper that there is only a few minutes left till they go on air and Chopper turns toward backstage and says…)
Chopper: Come on pimpin. What’s taking you so long?
Man: I don’t see why I have to dress up like this. This is a mockery of good wrestling journalism.
Chopper: Look, stop being a damn baby a get you’re a** out here now.
Man: No! I refuse. I’ve been in this business too long to let you embarrass me like that.
(A frustrated Chopper gets up and goes backstage and we hear…)
Chopper: Embarrass? What the hell are you talking about? You look like a million bucks right about now. Not quite Platinum Champ material though. More like thousand dollar champ.
Man: That’s exactly why I should not have signed up for this.
Chopper: Well you did and now I own your a**. I’m paying you a lot of money to do this show. You’d think you’d have a lil respect for your employer. You need to take some time out and enjoy this atmosphere. You’re on TV now baby. The big time. Now I don’t care if you don’t like it, get out there and do the damn thing.
Man: I would not call local cable access channels the big time. I’ve done better shows with local talent and you call yourself a superstar.
Chopper: Just get out there.
(Just than we hear “Number One Stunna” by the Big Tymer’s and a man comes flying out. The white Air Force One tells us that he may have been forced out. Upon further review we can see that it is NAPW personality Bill McNeil. Strangely he to is dressed in Hip-Hop gear. Bill takes a seat in one char and Chopper comes to rest in the other. Bill opens his mouth and says…)
Bill: Hello and welcome to the finest hour in television The Chopper Power Ho…
(Just than a diamond studded platinum grill falls out of Bill’s mouth and Chopper says…)
Chopper: Got dammit Bizzle McSizzle I told you to get the permanent ones like the Chopman has. But nooooo, you just had to go out and get that Paul Wall s***.
(Bill reaches down and puts his grill back in before saying…)
Bill: Hey lay off of Paul. He’s a good guy. He introduced me to some drank stuff.
Chopper: Don’t do that Bizzle. You’re not hood enough yet to be joining Drank University. We’ve gotta start you out slow. Get you a forty and work your way up from there.
Bill: Lets move on with the show and bring out today’s guest. He’s none other than….
Chopper: Whoa, whoa, whoa. How in the hell are you just gonna jack my lines McSizzle? I gotta watch you dog. You be trying to f**** over a brother.
Man: I don’t “be” trying to do nothing like that. You just “be” hatin on The Man.
(Bill flashes his thousand dollar grin and a obviously agitated Chopper just stares at him. After a few seconds Chopper turns to the camera and says…)
Chopper: Let’s welcome my man fifty grand and the man that will help me commit adversary homicide on that copy cat act we like to call the Crimes. WHEW, it is definently getting hot in here. My dog Heat!
(The crowd cheers as Heat enters the set dressed in a Sean Jean suit and a pair of the finest Gator’s money can buy. The two men dap each other off and Heat takes a seat to the right of Bill and Chopper and when the crowd dies down Bill asks…)
Bill: I guess my first question would have to be. How in the hell do yo9u deal with this guy?
Chopper: You’re pushing it Bill. Don’t make me pimp smack you on cable access TV cause you know I will. One more quip out of you and I swear you’re losing the taste out of your mouth and that grill is going to become a permanent part of your Adams apple. Now ask the man a serious question.
Bill: Actually my first question is for you since you are the one that made the statement. What makes you think of the Crimes as a “copy cat act“?
Chopper: How could I not think it. Let’s see the Chopman does a press conference and all of a sudden these nobody’s just had to go on a media blitz. I guess that was just coincidence. Let’s face it Bizzle this place was dead before me and the big man arrived. We brought media attention here and now all of a sudden hacks like the Crimes are doing infomercials for $500 a pop. Hell I could have gave them that much just to be original.
Heat: I can’t say I blame them though. We are the new standard for tag teams. With The Platinum Champ’s grace and my power we will prove that we are the dominant force in the tag team division. Bar none.
Chopper: Those cats are so twisted right about now they won’t know what hits them come Monday night. They think we are these masked punks when it is obvious that it is their man D!
Heat: We said it once and we’ll say it again we do ALL our damage face to face like real men. Anybody who thinks otherwise will be dealt with our way. The South Way. Facial robbery.
Bill: Why do you think they seem intent on making you out to be the masked men?
Chopper: Bizzle I don’t know and I don’t care. All I care about is making sure they show up Monday so that we can collect our first official win in NAPW and move on to bigger and better so called superstars.
Heat: What they need to do is stop playing with toy robots and try to find some footage on the two of us. But I should not expect anything more from two pups like this. Their kids to a man like myself and come Monday we will end the Crimes and their pathetic a** media blitz.
Bill: I have a feeling that this match is going to be off the hizzle.
Chopper: Bizzle,. I told you two many times already that you are not hood enough for all that. Take it one step at a time.
Bill: Stop sweating me.
Chopper: Shut up!
Bill: Hater!
Chopper: That’s it. I’m gonna put a stop to this once and for all.
(Chopper reaches under his chair and pulls out some duct tape. Bill sees this and takes off for backstage but before he can get there Chopper tackles him and tapes his mouth shut. He rolls him over and says…)
Chopper: That’ll shut you up!
(Chopper turns around and finds a stunned crowd. He simply flahses his million dollar smile and says…)
Chopper: That’s all the time we have for this week’s Chopper Power Hour. Holla at ya boy next week when my guest will be NAPW Heavyweight Champ Devastation. Until than be cool and if you’re a** is dumb drop outta school. Words from the Chopman. Holla back.
(Chopper turns back to Bill and starts to taunt him as the scene fades to a commercial advertising next weeks show.)
Chopper: Come on pimpin. What’s taking you so long?
Man: I don’t see why I have to dress up like this. This is a mockery of good wrestling journalism.
Chopper: Look, stop being a damn baby a get you’re a** out here now.
Man: No! I refuse. I’ve been in this business too long to let you embarrass me like that.
(A frustrated Chopper gets up and goes backstage and we hear…)
Chopper: Embarrass? What the hell are you talking about? You look like a million bucks right about now. Not quite Platinum Champ material though. More like thousand dollar champ.
Man: That’s exactly why I should not have signed up for this.
Chopper: Well you did and now I own your a**. I’m paying you a lot of money to do this show. You’d think you’d have a lil respect for your employer. You need to take some time out and enjoy this atmosphere. You’re on TV now baby. The big time. Now I don’t care if you don’t like it, get out there and do the damn thing.
Man: I would not call local cable access channels the big time. I’ve done better shows with local talent and you call yourself a superstar.
Chopper: Just get out there.
(Just than we hear “Number One Stunna” by the Big Tymer’s and a man comes flying out. The white Air Force One tells us that he may have been forced out. Upon further review we can see that it is NAPW personality Bill McNeil. Strangely he to is dressed in Hip-Hop gear. Bill takes a seat in one char and Chopper comes to rest in the other. Bill opens his mouth and says…)
Bill: Hello and welcome to the finest hour in television The Chopper Power Ho…
(Just than a diamond studded platinum grill falls out of Bill’s mouth and Chopper says…)
Chopper: Got dammit Bizzle McSizzle I told you to get the permanent ones like the Chopman has. But nooooo, you just had to go out and get that Paul Wall s***.
(Bill reaches down and puts his grill back in before saying…)
Bill: Hey lay off of Paul. He’s a good guy. He introduced me to some drank stuff.
Chopper: Don’t do that Bizzle. You’re not hood enough yet to be joining Drank University. We’ve gotta start you out slow. Get you a forty and work your way up from there.
Bill: Lets move on with the show and bring out today’s guest. He’s none other than….
Chopper: Whoa, whoa, whoa. How in the hell are you just gonna jack my lines McSizzle? I gotta watch you dog. You be trying to f**** over a brother.
Man: I don’t “be” trying to do nothing like that. You just “be” hatin on The Man.
(Bill flashes his thousand dollar grin and a obviously agitated Chopper just stares at him. After a few seconds Chopper turns to the camera and says…)
Chopper: Let’s welcome my man fifty grand and the man that will help me commit adversary homicide on that copy cat act we like to call the Crimes. WHEW, it is definently getting hot in here. My dog Heat!
(The crowd cheers as Heat enters the set dressed in a Sean Jean suit and a pair of the finest Gator’s money can buy. The two men dap each other off and Heat takes a seat to the right of Bill and Chopper and when the crowd dies down Bill asks…)
Bill: I guess my first question would have to be. How in the hell do yo9u deal with this guy?
Chopper: You’re pushing it Bill. Don’t make me pimp smack you on cable access TV cause you know I will. One more quip out of you and I swear you’re losing the taste out of your mouth and that grill is going to become a permanent part of your Adams apple. Now ask the man a serious question.
Bill: Actually my first question is for you since you are the one that made the statement. What makes you think of the Crimes as a “copy cat act“?
Chopper: How could I not think it. Let’s see the Chopman does a press conference and all of a sudden these nobody’s just had to go on a media blitz. I guess that was just coincidence. Let’s face it Bizzle this place was dead before me and the big man arrived. We brought media attention here and now all of a sudden hacks like the Crimes are doing infomercials for $500 a pop. Hell I could have gave them that much just to be original.
Heat: I can’t say I blame them though. We are the new standard for tag teams. With The Platinum Champ’s grace and my power we will prove that we are the dominant force in the tag team division. Bar none.
Chopper: Those cats are so twisted right about now they won’t know what hits them come Monday night. They think we are these masked punks when it is obvious that it is their man D!
Heat: We said it once and we’ll say it again we do ALL our damage face to face like real men. Anybody who thinks otherwise will be dealt with our way. The South Way. Facial robbery.
Bill: Why do you think they seem intent on making you out to be the masked men?
Chopper: Bizzle I don’t know and I don’t care. All I care about is making sure they show up Monday so that we can collect our first official win in NAPW and move on to bigger and better so called superstars.
Heat: What they need to do is stop playing with toy robots and try to find some footage on the two of us. But I should not expect anything more from two pups like this. Their kids to a man like myself and come Monday we will end the Crimes and their pathetic a** media blitz.
Bill: I have a feeling that this match is going to be off the hizzle.
Chopper: Bizzle,. I told you two many times already that you are not hood enough for all that. Take it one step at a time.
Bill: Stop sweating me.
Chopper: Shut up!
Bill: Hater!
Chopper: That’s it. I’m gonna put a stop to this once and for all.
(Chopper reaches under his chair and pulls out some duct tape. Bill sees this and takes off for backstage but before he can get there Chopper tackles him and tapes his mouth shut. He rolls him over and says…)
Chopper: That’ll shut you up!
(Chopper turns around and finds a stunned crowd. He simply flahses his million dollar smile and says…)
Chopper: That’s all the time we have for this week’s Chopper Power Hour. Holla at ya boy next week when my guest will be NAPW Heavyweight Champ Devastation. Until than be cool and if you’re a** is dumb drop outta school. Words from the Chopman. Holla back.
(Chopper turns back to Bill and starts to taunt him as the scene fades to a commercial advertising next weeks show.)