Post by Static on Nov 16, 2005 13:27:42 GMT -5
(Fade in. Music studio again. NEW NAPW PROVINCIAL CHAMPION THE STATIC and THE MAYOR are enjoying ice-cold sodas, cheering on their latest triumph: the gold record currently hanging on the wall, commemorating "Get on my Level" as selling 500,000 copies. Does look counterfeit, though...)
STATIC: You see that, the Mayor? The mark of a musicial virtuoso! To be sure, the Mayor, I did play with the expertise of Slash... actually, to be accurate, Slash plays with the expertise of Static. And my voice, well, it sounds like the hymns of the angels. And.. well... my lyrics, I mean, they're pure poetry! Bill Shakespeare! The Mayor, believe me when I say that I'm trying to be modest over here!
THE MAYOR: True indeed, Static. Lest we forget, of course, my production.
STATIC: The Mayor... I can't say enough for your production efforts. You know, if being a manager for a famous professional wrestler doesn't work out, I say you march right up to Rick Rubin, and punch that bearded lumberjack right in the face! Think about it, the Mayor: you, plus the Jiggaman. Instant classic! Of course, the Mayor... I hear that being the manager of a famous professional wrestler is working out for you quite well.
THE MAYOR: Well, let's see. Your record in Provincial Title matches pre-the Mayor: 0-1. In the Mayor era, 1-0. I told the NAPW booking committee to let the champ have his siesta, he deserves that much... but unfortunately, you've got Lobo on Thursday.
STATIC: I know, the Mayor. I made my opinion for Lobo well-known on our gold record hit, "Get on my Level." (wink and grin at the camera) Lobo couldn't hit a b-sharp in a-tuning if his life depended on it! I'd say he's got far more to be afraid of than me, though. I hear that Ravager's tuning up the band, and his next song is dedicated to Lobo. It's called "I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka."
THE MAYOR: Speaking of Ravager... seems like you pissed off a lot of guys with that song. Ravager, Lobo, the Nightmare...
STATIC: Heh. The Nightmare. Has he even had a match yet? His opinions don't matter to me. Take a memo, here, the Mayor: Keep practicing, on the guitar and in the ring. Your f-flat was sounding a little... well, flat to me. And your voice needs work. As for Ravager...
THE MAYOR: I'll take this one. Ravager, the Mayor isn't defenseless. You mess with the Mayor, you're messing with a MADE MAN and his crew, including the NAPW Provincial Champion. You kidnapped me--KIDNAPPED ME--I could've been hurt!--on Friday. Well, you paid the price. You lost that belt, in part, thanks to this public official right here. You're not so tough to me, any more, Ravager, and so sure ain't making anyone scared with that clock bashing. You want some of the Mayor, well, bring it!
STATIC: (trying to contain laughter) Hell yeah! The Mayor! Bring it! Ravager... watch out, should you decide to get between myself and Lobo. You don't want any part of this encore.
(Fade out.)
STATIC: You see that, the Mayor? The mark of a musicial virtuoso! To be sure, the Mayor, I did play with the expertise of Slash... actually, to be accurate, Slash plays with the expertise of Static. And my voice, well, it sounds like the hymns of the angels. And.. well... my lyrics, I mean, they're pure poetry! Bill Shakespeare! The Mayor, believe me when I say that I'm trying to be modest over here!
THE MAYOR: True indeed, Static. Lest we forget, of course, my production.
STATIC: The Mayor... I can't say enough for your production efforts. You know, if being a manager for a famous professional wrestler doesn't work out, I say you march right up to Rick Rubin, and punch that bearded lumberjack right in the face! Think about it, the Mayor: you, plus the Jiggaman. Instant classic! Of course, the Mayor... I hear that being the manager of a famous professional wrestler is working out for you quite well.
THE MAYOR: Well, let's see. Your record in Provincial Title matches pre-the Mayor: 0-1. In the Mayor era, 1-0. I told the NAPW booking committee to let the champ have his siesta, he deserves that much... but unfortunately, you've got Lobo on Thursday.
STATIC: I know, the Mayor. I made my opinion for Lobo well-known on our gold record hit, "Get on my Level." (wink and grin at the camera) Lobo couldn't hit a b-sharp in a-tuning if his life depended on it! I'd say he's got far more to be afraid of than me, though. I hear that Ravager's tuning up the band, and his next song is dedicated to Lobo. It's called "I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka."
THE MAYOR: Speaking of Ravager... seems like you pissed off a lot of guys with that song. Ravager, Lobo, the Nightmare...
STATIC: Heh. The Nightmare. Has he even had a match yet? His opinions don't matter to me. Take a memo, here, the Mayor: Keep practicing, on the guitar and in the ring. Your f-flat was sounding a little... well, flat to me. And your voice needs work. As for Ravager...
THE MAYOR: I'll take this one. Ravager, the Mayor isn't defenseless. You mess with the Mayor, you're messing with a MADE MAN and his crew, including the NAPW Provincial Champion. You kidnapped me--KIDNAPPED ME--I could've been hurt!--on Friday. Well, you paid the price. You lost that belt, in part, thanks to this public official right here. You're not so tough to me, any more, Ravager, and so sure ain't making anyone scared with that clock bashing. You want some of the Mayor, well, bring it!
STATIC: (trying to contain laughter) Hell yeah! The Mayor! Bring it! Ravager... watch out, should you decide to get between myself and Lobo. You don't want any part of this encore.
(Fade out.)