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Post by Stylin' Kyle Roberts [REBEL] on Nov 13, 2005 22:26:17 GMT -5
BILL HEWSON: We're here in Edmonton for Monday Night Fights! It's going to be one heck of a show, with an Elimination Four Way, the tag team titles on the line, and, of course, both the Provincial and NAPW titles are both being defended! (The Foo Fighters' "Low" blasts through the speakers as Stylin' Kyle Roberts, Bruce "The Beast" Richards, and Coach Gordon Jago, arms full of tag team gold, come to ringside amidst a chorus of boos from the audience.)
BILL HEWSON: What's this? The New and Improved D-X? What are they doing here?
JACK JONES: Well, duh! They ARE defending their titles tonight!
BILL HEWSON: But that match isn't until later. And they're hitting the ring right now! Are they taking offense to the Decapitators' remarks?
(The New and Improved D-X enters the ring. Kyle Roberts takes a mic and waits for the audience's jeers to die down. He takes off his $300 Tag Heuer sunglasses and addresses the crowd.)
KYLE ROBERTS: As you, the NAPW audience, know, we're scheduled to defend our titles here tonight. And I, for one, am ALWAYS up for a little competition. But it's not really sporting to take on a team that's ALREADY fighting tonight.
Decapitators, we want to be fair about this, and it's not fair to YOU to have this match. After all, two matches tonight is not healthy for you.
I know, I know, you're in the back thinking to yourselves, "Is Kyle Roberts crazy? We're not fighting anyone other than D-X tonight."
You might take us on tonight, Decapitators, but there's a more... SERIOUS... fight you're got on your hands: The battle against the bottle.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Now, we were in the back and saw Josh Reynolds talking to the Decapitators earlier. And sure, Kyle and I chuckled a little bit. But the truth is, substance abuse is no laughing matter.
And that's why we would like to bring to the ring two very, VERY special guests. Axe, Diamond, you'll want to listen very carefully to what these people have to say.
KYLE ROBERTS: So, I'd like everyone to give a very warm welcome to Alan and Doreen Rivers, better known as Ma and Pa Decapitator.
(Two middle-aged people come down to the ring. Alan Rivers is wearing a somewhat shabby business suit, Doreen is wearing a housewife's best.)
JACK JONES: Hey, look! It's Axe and Diamond's parents! What kind of low-rent family do the Decapitators have?
BILL HEWSON: Come on, Jack, that's not fair. I'm sure they're great parents, if that REALLY is them.
KYLE ROBERTS: Just enter over here, please. Now, Alan, Doreen, I'm sure you've got something to say to your children?
DOREEN: (takes the mic, looks straight into the camera) Andrew, Daniel, PLEASE, this is your mother talking. Just come home. Come home to us, so we can get you the help you need.
KYLE ROBERTS: See, guys? Your mother is begging you to get help for your problem. You don't want to make your mom sad, now, do you?
ALAN: If it was something we did, I'll try to fix things so we can be a family again.
BRUCE RICHARDS: No, Mr. Rivers. You CAN'T blame yourself. This is something that Axe and Diamond, I mean, Andrew and Daniel have to take responsiblity for.
KYLE ROBERTS: You're their parents, not their enablers.
ALAN: So, boys, PLEASE! Just, come home. Come home with us, and everything will be fine.
KYLE ROBERTS: Can't you see we've done this for your own good, Decapitators? If we were bad guys, I would have, I don't know, offered this six pack of Sleeman's to you guys if you would have dropped the title match. (Roberts holds up a cold case of Honey Brown) But that's not the kind of guys we are.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Did you really have to bring that to the ring?
KYLE ROBERTS: I'm just trying to make a point here. I COULD have offered them this nectar of the gods, but that would be WRONG! That would be taking advantage of them in a moment of weakness. And that's not the sort of thing that the New and Improved D-X, the GREATEST tag team in Albertan wrestling history, would d-
(Rage Against the Machine starts to play as the Decapitators hit the top of the stage.)
BILL HEWSON: It's! It's the challengers tonight, the Decapitators! What are they going to do?
JACK JONES: We'll find out after the break!
(Camera fades out on both teams staring each other down, D-X from the ring, and the Decapitators from the entrance.)
-Written with Bruce Richards-
BILL HEWSON: What's this? The New and Improved D-X? What are they doing here?
JACK JONES: Well, duh! They ARE defending their titles tonight!
BILL HEWSON: But that match isn't until later. And they're hitting the ring right now! Are they taking offense to the Decapitators' remarks?
(The New and Improved D-X enters the ring. Kyle Roberts takes a mic and waits for the audience's jeers to die down. He takes off his $300 Tag Heuer sunglasses and addresses the crowd.)
KYLE ROBERTS: As you, the NAPW audience, know, we're scheduled to defend our titles here tonight. And I, for one, am ALWAYS up for a little competition. But it's not really sporting to take on a team that's ALREADY fighting tonight.
Decapitators, we want to be fair about this, and it's not fair to YOU to have this match. After all, two matches tonight is not healthy for you.
I know, I know, you're in the back thinking to yourselves, "Is Kyle Roberts crazy? We're not fighting anyone other than D-X tonight."
You might take us on tonight, Decapitators, but there's a more... SERIOUS... fight you're got on your hands: The battle against the bottle.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Now, we were in the back and saw Josh Reynolds talking to the Decapitators earlier. And sure, Kyle and I chuckled a little bit. But the truth is, substance abuse is no laughing matter.
And that's why we would like to bring to the ring two very, VERY special guests. Axe, Diamond, you'll want to listen very carefully to what these people have to say.
KYLE ROBERTS: So, I'd like everyone to give a very warm welcome to Alan and Doreen Rivers, better known as Ma and Pa Decapitator.
(Two middle-aged people come down to the ring. Alan Rivers is wearing a somewhat shabby business suit, Doreen is wearing a housewife's best.)
JACK JONES: Hey, look! It's Axe and Diamond's parents! What kind of low-rent family do the Decapitators have?
BILL HEWSON: Come on, Jack, that's not fair. I'm sure they're great parents, if that REALLY is them.
KYLE ROBERTS: Just enter over here, please. Now, Alan, Doreen, I'm sure you've got something to say to your children?
DOREEN: (takes the mic, looks straight into the camera) Andrew, Daniel, PLEASE, this is your mother talking. Just come home. Come home to us, so we can get you the help you need.
KYLE ROBERTS: See, guys? Your mother is begging you to get help for your problem. You don't want to make your mom sad, now, do you?
ALAN: If it was something we did, I'll try to fix things so we can be a family again.
BRUCE RICHARDS: No, Mr. Rivers. You CAN'T blame yourself. This is something that Axe and Diamond, I mean, Andrew and Daniel have to take responsiblity for.
KYLE ROBERTS: You're their parents, not their enablers.
ALAN: So, boys, PLEASE! Just, come home. Come home with us, and everything will be fine.
KYLE ROBERTS: Can't you see we've done this for your own good, Decapitators? If we were bad guys, I would have, I don't know, offered this six pack of Sleeman's to you guys if you would have dropped the title match. (Roberts holds up a cold case of Honey Brown) But that's not the kind of guys we are.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Did you really have to bring that to the ring?
KYLE ROBERTS: I'm just trying to make a point here. I COULD have offered them this nectar of the gods, but that would be WRONG! That would be taking advantage of them in a moment of weakness. And that's not the sort of thing that the New and Improved D-X, the GREATEST tag team in Albertan wrestling history, would d-
(Rage Against the Machine starts to play as the Decapitators hit the top of the stage.)
BILL HEWSON: It's! It's the challengers tonight, the Decapitators! What are they going to do?
JACK JONES: We'll find out after the break!
(Camera fades out on both teams staring each other down, D-X from the ring, and the Decapitators from the entrance.)
-Written with Bruce Richards-