Post by The Plague on Nov 11, 2005 12:25:06 GMT -5
NAPW's newest - and most sane - interviewer, Josh Reynolds, is standing on the NAPW set.
REYNOLDS: ...and it is, of course, no disqualification. We know Viking likes that kind of environment, it's up to The Hatchet to bring it to that level! Now, joining me in one moment, a man who is not only Viking's sometime tag team partner but a former NAPW Champion. Of course I can only be talking about THE PLAGUE!
As Reynolds introduces him, The Plague swaggers into camera view, looking slick in an ugly sorta way. His hair looks freshly cropped, barely stubble, and his goatee shaped like Paul Ellering's. If Paul Ellering was Chris Jericho. On steroids.
REYNOLDS: Plague, joining us in the studio today, and Plague --- Monday night, it's the rematch. The man who defeated you for the NAPW Heavyweight championship just one week ago - the unorthodox D! - will step into the ring with you one more time, the title...on the line. Tell us about it!
PLAGUE: Y'know, Reynolds, the first thing I'm going to tell you about is never to call me a "former" NAPW Champion again! I'm not out here today as the champion, but one thing I am not is a "former" champion. I'm a ONE-TIME NAPW Champion and after Monday night, Josh Reynolds? You can call me the NAPW's first TWO-TIME champion.
REYNOLDS: ...The one-time NAPW champ---
PLAGUE: Don't interrupt me when I'm talking, jerk.
REYNOLDS: Well certainly---
PLAGUE: Do you think the people tune in to see you, huh Reynolds? With your Zellers suit, and your 15 dollar haircut? You know what you can do, you can hold that microphone right about this height --- and you can stand right where you are --- and then hey, Cameraman! I want you to zoom in and crop the shot so that this humanoid's hand is the only thing you can see! NOW! Viking! My pal Viking, furry boots and all, tonight he took out THE MOOSE! And now Monday night Viking is taking on one-half of the Calgary Connection. I'll tell you what, Viking --- I'm occupied with the Heavyweight championship, but when YOU beat The Hatchet, and I've got the NAPW Title back AROUNNND my waist again, then you know what we're going to do? We're going to team up, and it doesn't matter if it's D-X! Those punk DECAPITATORS! Or even, hahaha, these chumps IMMORTALITY, it'll be VIKING & THE PLAGUE, Nordic Poison --- I kinda like that, what about you Reynolds?
REYNOLDS: Well---
PLAGUE: How many times do I have to tell you not to interrupt me, huh? VIKING! You handle Hatchet, and I'll tell you what: You and I, we'll become the NAPW Tag Team Champions. Because there's no such thing as TOO MUCH GOLD. Now! Moving on to my opponent Monday night. D! One letter, said real loud, and you know what D!? You earned that title. You came out last Monday night the better man and I shook your hand. I. SHOOK. Your hand. You earned my respect, and you earned the right to hold the title. But MONDAY NIGHT --- right here, you gotta beat THE PLAGUE one more time. And kid... all the credit in the world to you, but you can't beat The Plague twice.
Plague, of course, smirks. You expected anything less?
PLAGUE: So D! You'd better rethink getting drunk with those loser friends of yours! Hey, you know what, you want to learn how to drink then let THE PLAGUE take you out on the town a couple times. I'll show you how a champ celebrates, and it's not in some low-rent dive with the likes of Axe & Diamond! Now D!, you've got all these guys challenging you now that you're the champion, and you said one thing: You said "Why didn't Plague deal with this?" WHY, you ask, didn't Plague have to deal with The Immortal coming out begging for a title shot like some little dog, you know the kind --- a little poodle that yaps and yaps and yaps because it's trying to compensate for something. Why didn't The Plague ever deal with a challenge from "Bad Boy" Joey Malone, the NAPW's answer to the Brooklyn Brawler? Maybe, D!, it's because when I was the champion, they knew their chances of winning a match were two: slim and none, daddy! Now I'm not saying that you look like a weak champion, easy pickings, but let's face it: The Immortal, Joey Malone and D! in the main event isn't exactly going to set Edmonton on fire! No! The name that sells tickets, that everybody is coming to see --- and whether they love me, or they hate me, that name is THE PLAGUE. So MONDAY NIGHT! D! --- PLAGUE --- PART TWO! And I said it before, you might be able to delay it, but there's NO CURE for The Plague. I want you to remember that, when I beat you in the ring one-two-three... and retake my NAPW Championship.
Plague scowls at the camera and abruptly departs. The cameraman zooms out, leaving behind a bemused Josh Reynolds.
REYNOLDS: Folks...the one-time NAPW Champion! Tickets for Monday Night Fights are available at Ticketmaster but we are very close to being sold out for the NAPW Championship rematch...also on the card, it will be a rematch for the Provincial Title...
Fade.
REYNOLDS: ...and it is, of course, no disqualification. We know Viking likes that kind of environment, it's up to The Hatchet to bring it to that level! Now, joining me in one moment, a man who is not only Viking's sometime tag team partner but a former NAPW Champion. Of course I can only be talking about THE PLAGUE!
As Reynolds introduces him, The Plague swaggers into camera view, looking slick in an ugly sorta way. His hair looks freshly cropped, barely stubble, and his goatee shaped like Paul Ellering's. If Paul Ellering was Chris Jericho. On steroids.
REYNOLDS: Plague, joining us in the studio today, and Plague --- Monday night, it's the rematch. The man who defeated you for the NAPW Heavyweight championship just one week ago - the unorthodox D! - will step into the ring with you one more time, the title...on the line. Tell us about it!
PLAGUE: Y'know, Reynolds, the first thing I'm going to tell you about is never to call me a "former" NAPW Champion again! I'm not out here today as the champion, but one thing I am not is a "former" champion. I'm a ONE-TIME NAPW Champion and after Monday night, Josh Reynolds? You can call me the NAPW's first TWO-TIME champion.
REYNOLDS: ...The one-time NAPW champ---
PLAGUE: Don't interrupt me when I'm talking, jerk.
REYNOLDS: Well certainly---
PLAGUE: Do you think the people tune in to see you, huh Reynolds? With your Zellers suit, and your 15 dollar haircut? You know what you can do, you can hold that microphone right about this height --- and you can stand right where you are --- and then hey, Cameraman! I want you to zoom in and crop the shot so that this humanoid's hand is the only thing you can see! NOW! Viking! My pal Viking, furry boots and all, tonight he took out THE MOOSE! And now Monday night Viking is taking on one-half of the Calgary Connection. I'll tell you what, Viking --- I'm occupied with the Heavyweight championship, but when YOU beat The Hatchet, and I've got the NAPW Title back AROUNNND my waist again, then you know what we're going to do? We're going to team up, and it doesn't matter if it's D-X! Those punk DECAPITATORS! Or even, hahaha, these chumps IMMORTALITY, it'll be VIKING & THE PLAGUE, Nordic Poison --- I kinda like that, what about you Reynolds?
REYNOLDS: Well---
PLAGUE: How many times do I have to tell you not to interrupt me, huh? VIKING! You handle Hatchet, and I'll tell you what: You and I, we'll become the NAPW Tag Team Champions. Because there's no such thing as TOO MUCH GOLD. Now! Moving on to my opponent Monday night. D! One letter, said real loud, and you know what D!? You earned that title. You came out last Monday night the better man and I shook your hand. I. SHOOK. Your hand. You earned my respect, and you earned the right to hold the title. But MONDAY NIGHT --- right here, you gotta beat THE PLAGUE one more time. And kid... all the credit in the world to you, but you can't beat The Plague twice.
Plague, of course, smirks. You expected anything less?
PLAGUE: So D! You'd better rethink getting drunk with those loser friends of yours! Hey, you know what, you want to learn how to drink then let THE PLAGUE take you out on the town a couple times. I'll show you how a champ celebrates, and it's not in some low-rent dive with the likes of Axe & Diamond! Now D!, you've got all these guys challenging you now that you're the champion, and you said one thing: You said "Why didn't Plague deal with this?" WHY, you ask, didn't Plague have to deal with The Immortal coming out begging for a title shot like some little dog, you know the kind --- a little poodle that yaps and yaps and yaps because it's trying to compensate for something. Why didn't The Plague ever deal with a challenge from "Bad Boy" Joey Malone, the NAPW's answer to the Brooklyn Brawler? Maybe, D!, it's because when I was the champion, they knew their chances of winning a match were two: slim and none, daddy! Now I'm not saying that you look like a weak champion, easy pickings, but let's face it: The Immortal, Joey Malone and D! in the main event isn't exactly going to set Edmonton on fire! No! The name that sells tickets, that everybody is coming to see --- and whether they love me, or they hate me, that name is THE PLAGUE. So MONDAY NIGHT! D! --- PLAGUE --- PART TWO! And I said it before, you might be able to delay it, but there's NO CURE for The Plague. I want you to remember that, when I beat you in the ring one-two-three... and retake my NAPW Championship.
Plague scowls at the camera and abruptly departs. The cameraman zooms out, leaving behind a bemused Josh Reynolds.
REYNOLDS: Folks...the one-time NAPW Champion! Tickets for Monday Night Fights are available at Ticketmaster but we are very close to being sold out for the NAPW Championship rematch...also on the card, it will be a rematch for the Provincial Title...
Fade.