Standoff at the Nexus One Sports Club

[Stylin' Kyle Roberts [REBEL]]

(Scene: The Nexus One Sports Club. The New and Improved D-X are celebrating their win with some fresh-faced ladies, NAPW Champion Chris Casino and new stable member Evan Cartwright.)

KYLE ROBERTS: Oh, the next round’s on me! Honey brown for everyone! And a gin and tonic for Bruce!

(Kyle walks to the bar)

KYLE ROBERTS: Bar wench! Two pitchers of your finest Sleeman’s!

(He plops down a fifty on the bar counter.)

VOICE: Don’t worry about payment. This one’s on the house.

(Kyle turns to the guy sitting in the seat beside him. Sitting there, watching over the bar is none other than REX CALIBER.)

KYLE ROBERTS: Oh, hey, Rex. An entire round, on the house for the two-time tag champs? That’s mighty swell of you, Rex.

REX CALIBER: No, don’t feel special, now. It’s an open bar. You just missed Static.

KYLE ROBERTS: An open bar after Monday Night Fights?

REX CALIBER: It’s my grand opening. Tomorrow you can pay me.

KYLE ROBERTS: (chuckles) If I can remember that far ahead. It’s truly an evening to celebrate with friends and ladies!

REX CALIBER: I guess it is. I’ve got a Television title coming my way, and Static and I will get the next tag shot, right?

KYLE ROBERTS: (toasts) To Television titles!

REX CALIBER: And to tag gold.

KYLE ROBERTS: (trying to avoid the subject) Tag gold does look very nice around D-X’s waists, doesn’t it? Maybe you and Static should get some tag belts of your very own! We could be belt buddies! I hear Moose Jaw Pro has some very nice looking belts.

REX CALIBER: I don’t have time to hit Moose Jaw for them. Tell you what, I’ll let you pick how I beat you for those belts. Maybe with a bear hug?

KYLE ROBERTS: Hold on a second! We just finished one gruelling match to regain these puppies, or weren’t you watching?

REX CALIBER: I was watching.

KYLE ROBERTS: And now you just expect us to, to give you a shot at them right away?

REX CALIBER: Well, it IS a tough business. You guys can hang, can’t you? This next Monday seems like an EXCELLENT time to win gold. Static’s ready. I’m ready.

KYLE ROBERTS: THIS Monday? Talk about cutting it close.

REX CALIBER: The wheels are already in motion, Kyle.

KYLE ROBERTS: Rex, Rex, Rex! There’s a supercard right around the corner! Can you imagine the huge reception you’d get in that casino if you waited to challenge us for, say, a few weeks?

REX CALIBER: That’s the thing. Management thinks that Rex with gold equals lots more tickets selling to Joker’s Wild.

KYLE ROBERTS: Management doesn’t think that! YOU think that! Management KNOWS how their bread is buttered! Slathered with Champion D-X marmalade!

REX CALIBER: Kyle, how many times have I lost here in NAPW?

KYLE ROBERTS: Caliber, you know you’re undefeated. I know you’re undefeated. The stupid Edmonton fans can’t count that high, but they can probably figure out that your loss record is sitting at zero. But look at the competition you’ve faced! Or should I say lack thereof?

REX CALIBER: Well, I beat you. Static was there, too, I guess.

KYLE ROBERTS: The only way you beat me was after Static almost gave me a concussion with a steel chair!

REX CALIBER: Let’s not bother with the details, Kyle. They’re worthless. But if you want to face us at Joker’s Wild, DX vs. Rex and Static can happen. Just with US wearing the gold.

KYLE ROBERTS: Now, hold on a second. Kyle Roberts knows that Rex Caliber is going places. And I also know that Rex LOOOOVES the gold. Say, have you seen how much shinier the Provincial Title looks these days?

REX CALIBER: NAPW seems to be more focused around tag teams these days. It’s more important to be Tag champs then ever before. You know that.

KYLE ROBERTS: Well, I DO know how much the fans appreciate seeing their heroes, the New and Improved D-X in the main event week after week.

REX CALIBER: Don’t worry, man. I’m sure you’ll be ready to face us this Monday. I just hope the Dudes don’t come looking for revenge BEFORE the match.

KYLE ROBERTS: So, let me get this straight, here…There’s NOTHING I can say or do that’ll convince you to hold off on this match? Nothing that’ll let Bruce and I get more familiar with having the gold around our waists?

REX CALIBER: Nope.

KYLE ROBERTS: I mean, it’s not like I’m scared of losing here. I just don’t want to show you and Static up so soon before Joker’s Wild. I don’t want to give the fans the disappointment of seeing Rex chalk up his first loss this Monday.

REX CALIBER: (stops smiling) Ah. So THAT’S the way it’s going to be. Okay. I DARE you to show me up at Monday Night Fights. Hell, I’ll even shake your hand and buy you a beer if you can. But realistically, it can’t happen.

KYLE ROBERTS: Are you kidding? Have you ever felt the sting of being Polarized before Bruce hits you Down and Dirty-style? Ever want to feel the sensation of having the blood rush to your head before I drop you into the Emerald Fusion? Because if this is the path you’re choosing to take on Monday? Those’ll just be two of many sensations you’ll feel before Bruce and I get the one, two, three. Ask Static. He’s been a victim to my Fusion.

REX CALIBER: Well, Static and I have been working on some new moves especially for you two. Good luck on Monday. You’ll need it. Better go celebrate with your friends while you can tonight, Kyle. Oh, and one more thing before I get back to my duties here.

KYLE ROBERTS: Yeah?

REX CALIBER: That blonde you keep eyeballing? Her name’s Doug. And he could only afford those new boobs yesterday. Sorry to have to tell you.

KYLE ROBERTS: (looks at one of the girls at his table) Uh, thanks for the warning. Now you know why I prefer brunettes. What about the one girl Bruce is chatting up?

REX CALIBER: Doug’s brother Dwayne. (sighs) Guess I’m going to have to fire my bouncer.

KYLE ROBERTS: I’ll just take these drinks back to the table. Could you have your bouncer look the other way when I tell Bruce the news? Thanks.

REX CALIBER: Just have the Beast take Dwayne outside first. I don’t want to clean this bar more thoroughly than I have to.

KYLE ROBERTS: Rex, regardless of what happens on Monday, thanks for the round. You know, under any other circumstances, you and I could be friends. Unfortunately, I don’t have friends when I enter the ring.

REX CALIBER: You’re welcome. And for future parties, I’ll get a better screener. Someone who can tell the ladies from the men.

KYLE ROBERTS: (toasts once more) Here’s to future parties! (looks to his table, sees the Beast whisper something into a redhead's ear) BRUCE, NO! (runs off with the pitchers)

REX CALIBER: (goes back to his paper) A shame I’m going to have to kick his ass. He’s fun.

(Lights down)

(CO-WRITTEN WITH REX CALIBER)