AWX vs Bluegrass Mafia

[Ryan Ro [NAPW]]

Awesome Wrestling eXplosion vs Bluegrass Mafia

In their debut-slash-re-debut last week, the AWX were victiorious! This week, the take on a team that has been met with little success as of late. Matt and Chad Kurtis are both in foul moods these days. Will AWX's hilarious ways win the day, or only further infuriate the Mafia?

[AWX Wrestling]

(START. In the AWX' living room, a team meeting occurs. A young man with long, dark hair and a black-suited, white-tied Latino are seated on the leather couch; a stubble-headed young man in camouflage pants is seated on the couch's broad arm. The dark-haired youth's nose looks bruised and puffy, with what seems to be cotton poking out of the nostrils. A midget in a bee costume, arms crossed, paces back-and-forth before them like some kind of demented Volga Boatman.)

NARRATOR: There is an expression from Sakura's home country...

(Pause. The Bee keeps pacing.)

NARRATOR: "Success breeds hardship."

(Nenji raises his finger up to his cotton-stuffed nose, wincing as if he's about to sneeze. Everybody on the couch looks at him, and then reactively lean away from him. Nenji swallows hard, regains his composure, and lowers his finger. Turancula and Shadow straighten again.)

NARRATOR: Their NAPW debut-slash-re-debut is firmly behind them, a tag team victory over former Television Champion Mr. Slick and terrible gymnast Ricky Bernero.

(The Bee, maintaining his best "thinking face", heads to the couch beside Nenji, who helps him up. The Bee sits with his team, looking pensive.)

NARRATOR: And as such, they have been signed to return to NAPW's "Badder Blood" show, where they are scheduled to face The Bluegrass Mafia--"The Show" Chad Kurtis, and "The Angry American" Matthew Kurtis.

(CUT. In the NAPW ring. A handsome, built man in red leather pants traps a devastated, smaller opponent between his thighs and performs a flipping CK Finale to finish him off.)

NARRATOR: "The Show" Chad Kurtis.

(CUT. In the NAPW ring. A giant of a man in jeans and cowboy boots peels a smaller, pony-tailed competitor off the mat, hoists him to head level, and delivers a devastating Bluegrass Bomb.)

NARRATOR: "Angry American" Matthew Kurtis.

(CUT. Back to the shot of the AWX on the couch.

Pause.

The Bee hops off the couch and resumes his pacing.)

NARRATOR: Celebrating their Tagstravaganza win will have to wait.

(CUT. In the NAPW ring, Nenji, exhausted, face bloodied, slumps over a collapsed, black jean-shorted wrestler as the referee administers a solid three-count before a third wrestler can reach him.)

NARRATOR: As he's earned the team their victory, despite a broken nose, it is agreed upon by all that Nenji has earned the right to represent Awesome Wrestling eXplosion as one-half of the tag team facing the Bluegrass Mafia.

(CUT. We're in the AWX back yard. Shadow swings the back door open, donning his black trench coat, wrap-around shades, and enormous backpack. He struts quickly through the yard and out-of-frame.)

NARRATOR: The second spot, as always, will have to be earned.

(CUT. Whyte Avenue at night. The bowl-haired, Beatle-suited Yowly Guitar Guy performs in front of the closed Army & Navy, his guitar case laying open for donations by his amplifier. A few feet away, Shadow accompanies him by singing loudly, and holds out a paper Starbucks cup for passersby.)

NARRATOR: Shadow feels that more than the last time, this fight has his name written all over it.

(A man passing by throws a loonie into Yowly Guitar Guy's case. Shadow runs up to him, brandishing his cup. The man looks at him incredulously, so Shadow plasters on an ingratiating smile and motions with his cup. Impatient, the man tosses a coin in shadow's cup and leaves. Shadow offers a curtsy to the man's back and returns to his spot.

CUT. Close-up of Yowly Guitar Guy, who glances off at Shadow, frustrated.

CUT. Medium shot of Shadow loudly singing, brandishing his cup at a stream of passers-by.)

NARRATOR: The rest of his "surrogate family" may find the Bluegrass Mafia terrifying, but Shadow is a student of the sport.

(CUT. In the NAPW ring. Within seconds of each other, Chad Kurtis nails his CK Finale on a plain-looking wrestler and Matthew Kurtis Bluegrass Bombs a thickly-built wrestler with a scraggly beard.)

NARRATOR: True, when The Bluegrass Mafia first came to NAPW, they were a force to be reckoned with.

(CUT. In the REBEL ring, Chad Kurtis is held in a full-nelson by a black wrestler in a white costume and half-mask. Another wrestler in jeans runs in and sledgehammers Chad's face with a Big Boot, then pounces on the downed "Show" to pin him for three.)

NARRATOR: However lately, their performance has been declining.

(CUT. The AWX' living room, with The Bee fully-framed on the leather couch. He anticipatively looks around.)

NARRATOR: The Bluegrass Mafia has had their day, but they cannot survive when predators like Shadow exist.

(Suddenly, Shadow emerges from behind the couch with a T-Rex puppet on his hand. The Bee silently yelps and then giggles, kicking his little feet as Shadow has the dino "eat" him.)

NARRATOR: Their time is over. They are becoming extinct.

(CUT. In a residential alley, in the afternoon. Shadow struts along, heading towards the camera.)

NARRATOR: But even facing death, a dinosaur can be dangerous. Shadow intends on taking this match-up very seriously.

(CUT. A soundless clip of Matthew, Chad and a beautiful young woman in a baby-doll tee watching footage on a monitor. They noiselessly discuss.)

NARRATOR: And so, Shadow realizes that his strategy will be straightforward and simple.

(The footage starts shading out artificially, except for a bubble that centers round Chad's head.)

NARRATOR: Chad Kurtis.

(CUT. In the REBEL ring, there are two simultaneous pin covers as the jeaned Thomas Young pins Matthew and Chad pins the white-attired Prince Darko. The ref drops and counts three. Chad bolts up and starts celebrating with the baby-dolled Lyndsey Valentine, while behind him, the referee raises Young's hand.)

NARRATOR: Chad Kurtis.

(CUT. In the NAPW ring, a black-haired, black tight-wearing wrestler locks up with Chad, wrings the hold to a reverse position, and then drives Chad face-first to the mat before covering him. Matthew tries to slide in to help his brother, but is pulled back by an off-camera participant before the ref counts three.)

NARRATOR: Chad Kurtis.

(CUT. Tracking medium shot of Shadow as he continues his strut.)

NARRATOR: The weak link. Vulnerable. Manipulable. Gullible. Chad Kurtis is a toy for Shadow to play with and break.

(Shadow breaks out a Cheshire Cat grin.)

NARRATOR: But Shadow is especially buoyed by "The Show's" Tagstravaganza performance.

(In the NAPW ring. The black-clad Donovan Astros is on top of Chad, gripping his arm and wrenching his neck against with the Astrolock. Chad, his face purple, free hand drooping, goes completely limp.)

NARRATOR: Namely, how poorly he fared against submission wrestling.

(The referee pops into the shot to check on Chad, then rises again, waving his arms to the timekeeper.)

NARRATOR: And who embodies submission wrestling in the NAPW?

(CUT. In the AWX' backyard ring, Shadow clutches The Bee's torso under his armpit. The Bee swings and kicks his little arms and legs.)

NARRATOR: Shadow.

(CUT. Shadow tussles with Nenji, yanking his arm behind him at an awkward angle.)

NARRATOR: Shadow.

(CUT. Shadow slips behind a rowdy Turancula and criss-crosses his ams across his neck and face, causing the Latino Sensation to flail his arms madly.)

NARRATOR: Shadow.

(CUT. Back in the alley, Shadow holds his arms out, head tilting back, beaming.)

NARRATOR: Shadow.

The Adicts - Ode to Joy (select track to play)

(CUT. Shadow starts circling an invisible opponent, throwing jabs.

CUT. Shadow mimics seizing an opponent's arm, then following up with a pin-point elbow strike.

CUT. Shadow delivers a running kick to an aluminum garbage can.

CUT. Shadow picks up the garbage can and hits a Running Powerslam on it.

CUT. Shadow wraps his arms around the can's imaginary "head" and his legs around the can's imaginary "arm" and executes what would otherwise be a sweet Crippler Crossface.)

NARRATOR: To eliminate the Bluegrass Mafia, the AWX will have to deploy its most vicious shooter.

(Shadow stands and addresses the camera, jabbing his finger.)

SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]I'M COMING FOR YOU, CHAD KURTIS![/glow]
NARRATOR: And "The Show" had best pray they don't.

This has been Ian Griffin-Stewart, your narrator.

(END.)

Edited for the Astrolock description.

[AWX Wrestling]

(START.)

String Minstrels - Ode to Joy

(It's the interior of a packed Convocation Hall at the University of Alberta. A string trio with flautist plays, just off from the stage. On stage, a gallery of well-dressed old men and women sit. The only exception to this rule is a tidy, beautiful woman seated by the podium. At the podium is a matronly old woman, standing stiff and fierce. The musicians finish their bar, and the matron speaks.)

MATRON: And now, without further ado, I give you one of the youngest and brightest the University of Alberta has ever produced. Nothing short of "stellar" can describe this woman, whose tireless work and devotion to science have accredited her far beyond her young years. Her research in Medicine has proven to be invaluable, and has proven to be a valuable partner in our new Institute for Nanotechnology. Words fail me with this prodigy--parents and alumni, I give you our newest recipient of the Alberta Heritage Foundation for Medical Research Award... Doctor Rosa Flores!

(The musicians start up again, and the gathered crowd applauds. The young woman graciously stands and approaches the podium. The matron, hefting a plaque, holds it for her to accept. She reaches out for it, when suddenly--

CUT. The door to Convocation Hall bursts open, revealing Turancula and his pet pug Fido. A sound is made like four musicians dropping their instruments.)

TURANCULA: Rosalita... come on.

(SERIES OF CUTS. Several old women gasp and/or faint, including the matron.

CUT. Close-up of a suave Turancula.)

TURANCULA: I brought your swimsuit.

(SERIES OF CUTS. Several old men grimace, mutter and/or stammer. One of them lets the monocle fall from his eye.

CUT. On the podium, the young woman falters, then smiles, and quickly lets her hair down before running towards the exit.

CUT. Amidst a sea of outraged comments, the young woman runs up to Turancula at the door, kisses him on the cheek, and runs off, past him. Turancula, still a picture of cool Latino restraint, turns wordlessly away from the crowd and simply walks away, Fido at his heels.

CUT. A black Mustang with white top peels out of a University parking lot. The woman's black blouse flies out of an open window.

CUT. The interior of the car. Turancula looks only slightly pleased as he sits behind the wheel. Fido is seated in the shotgun seat, and in the back seat, the excited young woman in her bra and skirt.

Pause. Turancula keeps driving.)

NARRATOR: When Turancula had a Papi, he would tell him a story.

(CUT. Across the rooftops of an ancient-looking village, the sun is either rising or setting.)

NARRATOR: This happened in his Papi's village when he was a young hijo. And it concerned a monster.

(CUT. Close-up across a set of laps. A collection plate is passed onto he first one, where a pair of rough-looking hands adds some foreign-looking coins. The plate is passed right onto another lap, where another set of hands removes a coin. The plate moves onto a third lap, where more coins are removed.)

NARRATOR: They say when six men steal from God--

(CUT. A shot of a window, at night, where through a sheath of orange curtain we can make out the shadow of the top half of a nude woman. It moves to and joins the shadow of a top half of a man.)

NARRATOR: --when six women are unfaithful to their husbands--

(CUT. A shot of a five-year-old Latino boy, in shirt and shorts, crying his eyes out and stamping his feet.)

NARRATOR: --and when six children disrespect their parents, that is when a

monster is born.

(CUT. Inside a simple-looking bedroom, a short-haired Latino teenager sits in his bedclothes on his bed. He faces away from us, looking out of his window at either a rising or setting sun. )

NARRATOR: It is not like now, when we know seemingly everything there is to know. What causes boys to be born boys. When it will rain and when it will be nice. It was before, and there was less to know.

(CUT. Back in the Mustang, Turancula keeps driving the pleased-looking Fido and young woman.)

NARRATOR: In a good village, making such a thing should have been impossible. The rules were designed to be so impossibly hard.

(SERIES Of CUTS. A hand in the plate. Silhouette of lovers. A child's tantrum.

BLACK.)

NARRATOR: But weak souls did it anyway.

(CUT. In the main street of the village, the Latino teenager stands, still facing away from the camera. Weathered men and plump women obliviously bustle around him.)

NARRATOR: Turancula's Papi was the only one to see it. Nobody would believe him.

(CUT. Back in the bedroom, the teen sits in his usual position, seated away from us, staring through his window into the night.)

NARRATOR: The knowledge that such an evil has been set amongst his village was too much to bear. So between saying his bedtime prayers and actually going to bed, he went out into the night.

(CUT. The village rooftop shot, under a starry sky.)

NARRATOR: The monster would set about quickly, sucking the breath out of infants, micturating into the holy water. Making horses slow and truck tires flat.

(CUT. The main street at night, deserted, except the teen, who stands facing away from us.)

NARRATOR: The

monster has vexed the might King Solomon in times past, as well as Balthasar, and Jotham, and David.

(CUT. The teen stands away from us before an ornate village fountain, its basin rippling in a strong wind.)

NARRATOR: But despite this, all of those kings had at least tried.

(CUT. Inside the Mustang. Turancula's pleased expression had faded, though his companions' haven't.)

NARRATOR: So it seemed the least that Turancula's Papi could do.

(CUT. Back to the teen standing before the fountain.)

NARRATOR: He found the one place in the village that did not smell as it should have smelled. And he spoke to where the monster was hidden. "You are not welcome here in our home."

And



the



monster



growled.

But his Papi spoke calmly, and told him "You do not make me afraid, beast. Fear is something that I must give to you--and I will give you no such thing.

(A thunderclap bellows across the night sky.

CUT. Inside the Mustang, Turancula's eyes seize shut, and his foot kicks at the brakes.

CUT. An exterior shot of the Mustang, as it skids to a sudden halt on a quiet, two-lane stretch of highway.

CUT. The fountain shot. Without warning, lightning strikes the water, and the light engulfs everything except the shape of the teen.

CUT. Close-up: the driver's door of the Mustang opens, and Turancula hops out.)

NARRATOR: So it fled.

(CUT. The fountain shot, with rain pouring into the fountain's basin, and onto the teen.)

NARRATOR: This is what his Papi swears is true.

(CUT. Wide shot of the Mustang on the highway. Turancula walks away from the car, down the highway. He passes by a road sign that reads "ALBERTA BEACH 40 KM", then stops, lost in thought.)

NARRATOR: He told Turancula this story exactly six times when they were together--

(CUT. Close-up of Turancula, his bug eyes wet. He stares off at something unspecified on the horizon.)

NARRATOR: --and then he left.

(Pause.)

TURANCULA: Bye-bye.

(CUT. In the AWX' living room, The Bee, Shadow and Nenji all sit on the leather couch, looking dejected. Nenji's nose is bandaged now. The Bee has a band-aid on his chin and holds a little ice-pack to his knee.)

NARRATOR: Despite Shadow's best assurances that he can easily exploit Chad Kurtis, the prospect of facing the Bluegrass Mafia does not sit very well with the group as a whole.

(Turancula walks into the living room, and we hear Fido's paws scrabble on the hardwood floor.)

NARRATOR: And Matthew Kurtis, a giant, powerful man, is still intimidating them.

TURANCULA: (to The Bee) What happened to you?

(CUT. Turancula is now seated on the couch with Fido, with his teammates sitting on the floor, looking up at him. Turancula is talking, audio silence.)

NARRATOR: So he tells them the story.

(Pause. Turancula finishes speaking.)

NARRATOR: And they realize that they cannot give Matthew Kurtis their fear.

(CUT. Two-shot of Nenji and The Bee on the floor, looking at each other, nodding and smiling. They then look back at Turancula on the couch off-camera. The camera pans over to reveal a distraught-looking Shadow.)

NARRATOR: And as a reward, the group decided that Turancula would re-team with Nenji and represent Awesome Wrestling eXplosion at Badder Blood.

(CUT. Close-up of Turancula, who gradually regains his slight smile.)

NARRATOR: This has been Ian Griffin-Stewart, your narrator.

(END.)

["The Show" Chad Kurtis]

(Scene begins as we catch up with "The Show" Chad Kurtis as he is talking to his agents as he begins his trip to regain his edge.)

Agent: Chad, where are you at? I mean I don't know how long I can keep the account managers at bay. I mean we had an agreement to do this shoots. What do you want to get sued!

Chad: I told you for the next month I am focusing on wrestling! I don't give a damn about Tommy or Vitamin Water or Under Armor or any other of my modeling gigs. I have enough money saved up that I don't have to do that stuff anymore. So, they can either wait or find someone else!

Agent: OK, I will get them to wait, but where are you in case I need to get in contact with you.

Chad: I am on my way to San Luis Obispo, California to get some training in with my old friend, Chuck Liddell. I mean we are both preparing for big match-up so I figured we could help each other out. Oh and FYI, for the next two weeks I wouldn't be accepting phone calls from anyone besides the other members of "The Bluegrass Mafia" and my family, so don't even try!

Agent: Come on Chad....(Call is ended on the other side)

Chad: (Thinking out loud) You know I thought things was going to be great once I teamed back up with Matthew, and don't get me wrong things started with a bang! I mean as a team we couldn't lose, and in single competition we were leaving our mark, hell, I was even the television champion for a short time, but then something happened! I/we lost our edge, but why? Our we too concerned with what the fans think? Have we just become soft or what? I mean we push our opponents to their breaking points, but just can't seem to get over the hump! Well, all that stops now! I mean I ain't turning my back on the fans, but I ain't going to be their puppets anymore either. From now on "The Mafia" struts into the ring, kicks ass, takes names, and struts back out! We ain't in this game to make friends, we our here to win, so you are either down with "The Mafia" or you are against them, either way say the hell out of their way!

Kid Rock's "Cocky" is heard first soft then with increasing loudness as Chad's cell phone rings.

Chad: (looking at the call ID): Hello, if it ain't the big blue ass-kicker himself, wassup?

Matt: Just got out of the doctor, and he said my knee is great. I don't need anymore therapy or shot or anything. Hell, it's probably in better shape then yours!

Chad: That's good news! I mean now the knee is OK! The I am a monster attitude is coming back! The big blue ass-kicker is ready for action! Good news for "The Mafia", bad news for anyone that stands in our way!

Matt: So, are you going to be ready for our match-up. I mean AWX is talking smack about you, and you did pass out in the ring. Are you good?!

Chad: Not only am I good I am fired up. I mean it just come to me today from now on "The Mafia" is going to do what is best for the "The Mafia" the hell with everyone else! I am on my way to Cali to meet up with Liddell to get down and dirty and get my edge back, and as far as AWX and the shadow goes the whole thing makes me feel like I am in a bad Alex Baldwin movie based on a radio show. I mean do they really think they can intimidate me? C'mon now! And about our luck lately I have two words for you...wait for it...no not those words...the words are Succisa Virescit!

Matt: What the hell does that mean? I mean I am glad you are finding your edge, 'cause like you said now that me knee has been cleared, and our attitude are right, there is no stopping us now!

Chad: Succisa Viresct means we will overcome! So, here's my message to AWX and anyone else that has a problem with "The Bluegrass Mafia", "Wants some get some", and remember "Don't stop no shit and there will be no shit!" Oh and just in case you guys from the AWX haven't figured this out yet this can only end badly for you!

Matt: Okay, Chad, I just wanted to let you know the good word about my knee and make sure you are going to be ready for our match-up. Now that I can see you are going to be coming out like a corned pit bull with his tail on fire, my only concern is for the safety of AWX!What am I saying let the bodies hit the floor!

Chad: I knew you was just bull shitting! I mean I know the big blue ass-kicker has no remorse! The monster is reborn with a license to kick ass and take names later! To AWX and everyone else "The Real Bluegrass Mafia" is back, so be afraid, be very afraid! 'Cause the ass-whopping are about to receive has been approved by "The Show" Chad Kurtis and their ain't nothing, I mean nothing you can do about it! Matt, I got to let you go I am at the gym where I am meeting Liddell, so talk to you later.

Matthew: Cool, then me and Lyns will see you back in Canada on Monday. Remember to be ready for battle, because "The Mafia" is declaring war on anyone that steps in our way!!

Scene fades as Chad pulls his custom Hummer into the parking lot of Liddell's training facility.

[AWX Wrestling]

(START. In the AWX' living room, we revisit an earlier scene on the leather couch. Shadow is seated on the over-sized arm, while Turancula, The Bee and Nenji take up the length of the seat. Nenji's nose is purple and seemingly stuffed with cotton. All four men sport a doomed look.)

NARRATOR: Initially, when Awesome Wrestling eXplosion was told they'd be facing the Bluegrass Mafia, they had their reservations.

(The Bee hops down off of the couch, and begins pacing manically back-and-forth before the couch.)

NARRATOR: Shadow and Turancula learned, in their own way, to conquer their fear.

(Pause. The Bee continues pacing.)

NARRATOR: But meanwhile, The Bee never gave up strategizing.

(CUT. Later in the living room, The Bee is sitting on the hardwood floor, his smiling face illuminated by a television glow while he feeds himself an oatmeal cookie from a bag. From behind him, Nenji enters the living room via the kitchen, his nose bandaged.

CUT.)

FERB THE PUPPO: (singing) The canary's not a hammer, the canary's not a hammer /
My daddy's gone an' caught me, I'm goin' to the slammer

(CUT. Nenji, hovering over The Bee's shoulder, reaches across the shot and pushes a button, killing the TV glow.)

NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]I DINK YOU SHOULD GO OUT'IDE.[/glow]
(CUT. The front door of the AWX opens, and Nenji pushes a struggling Bee out. He tries but fails to put the brakes on with his little feet, but is shoved unceremoniously onto the front landing. Before he can turn around, Nenji clicks the door shut behind him. The Bee growls and starts hammering on the door with both fists.)

NARRATOR: As The Bee's personal trainer, Nenji is always looking after The Bee's overall performance.

(The Bee keeps hammering with both fists, growling.)

NARRATOR: This exercise help toughen up the triceps, as well as basic cardio.

(CUT. Closer shot of a furious Bee as he angrily flails against the door. Pause. This just goes on. A blonde five-year-old girl walks up to him at the door.)

GIRL: Hey. Why all that noise?

(The Bee stops his hammering, and then turns his head around to see the girl.

CUT. Head and shoulders of the girl, smiling politely.)

NARRATOR: Torie has never missed an Awesome Wrestling eXplosion show. Her favourite guys are Nenji when he's The Sailor, and The Bee when he dances.

(CUT. Two-shot of the pair with Torie in the foreground. The Bee blankly stares at her.

CUT. Reverse of this shot, with The Bee in the foreground.)

TORIE: Okay, so you're gonna be the Daddy and I'm gonna be the daughter okay?

(CUT. The first two-shot. The Bee slowly shakes his head "no".

CUT. In some backyard, The Bee sits on his fanny, frowning, while Torie runs in a circle around him, clutching a stuffed bear.)

NARRATOR: Onto strategy--when dealing with powerful opponents, there are some tactics that must be employed.

(Torie suddenly rushes up to The Bee and grazes his cheek with the bear's face. She mimics a "chomping" noise.)

TORIE: Chelly you were very bad to bite Daddy. I'm sorry I won't do it again. No you always have done this since you were a little baby. Can I kiss Daddy? Correct. You can do this.

(Torie sticks the bear's face against The Bee's dragging it against him while simultaneously making a slurping noise.

CUT. From around a house, The Bee pumps his little legs to bolt from the backyard and onto the sidewalk, where he keeps running off-frame.

CUT. We track The Bee as he keeps running down the sidewalk, puffing.)

NARRATOR: Smaller opponents must learn to stick-and-move.

(CUT. At the front landing of the AWX house, The Bee desperately climbs up the steps with both hands and feet.)

NARRATOR: Know where you are in the ring at all times.

(CUT. Close-up of the door as The Bee smushes himself against it, furiously hammering both fists against it.)

NARRATOR: And count on your partners to be there.

NENJI: (muffled, off) [glow=blue,2,300]DOE! GO A'D PLAY, BEE![/glow]
(The Bee puts one last bit of energy into pounding, and then freezes in mid-pound. He slowly peers behind him, over his shoulder. The camera zooms out a bit to reveal Torie standing right behind him.)

TORIE: Now I'm gonna be the mommy and we're gonna be married, okay? Okay.

(The Bee grits his teeth in terror.

CUT. Back in Torie's yard. The Bee is seated on the lawn and frowning again. Torie has surrounded him with even more stuffed animals.)

TORIE: And this is our little girl Chelly, and Neebo, and Almo, and Tanbo.

NARRATOR: But sometimes you can be cut off, in the wrong spot and overpowered.

(CUT. Close-up of some kind of round plastic egg-pig thing. Torie's hand pushes its nose and music starts playing.)

Ode to Joy

(CUT. Torie sits down next to The Bee and starts squeezing him.)

TORIE: Do you want to be the Mommy, okay? Okay. That is correct.

(She starts shaking The Bee violently. He looks glassy and nauseous, his tongue lolling out of his mouth.)

NARRATOR: And when this happens, and defeat is imminent, you know what you must do.

TORIE: And if you're going to be the Daddy, say "okay".

(The Bee starts slapping his legs against the lawn.)

TORIE: Say "okay", why wouldn't you say "okay"?

(The Bee starts rocking back-and-forth in Torie's grip, and then breaks away, lunging onto his side next to Chelly the bear.

CUT. The Bee slaps his chompers on Chelly.

CUT. Close-up of Torie's screaming face.

CUT. A tracking shot of The Bee running for his life down a residential alley.)

NARRATOR: Just remember--history favours the winners.

(CUT. A static shot of somewhere in the residential alley. A screaming-mad Torie rushes past a set of aluminum trash cans.

CUT. A close-up of one of the trash cans. One of the lids pops up, and The Bee peers out from under it. He checks if the coast is clear, but decides against coming out. He ducks back down, and lowers the lid back on top.

CUT. Back to the static alley shot.)

NARRATOR: So do what you feel is necessary.

SHADOW: (off) [glow=red,2,300]...aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH[/glow]
(Shadow runs in out of nowhere, and delivers a running kick to the trash can The Bee's hiding in.

CUT. Shadow picks up the can and delivers a Running Powerslam to it.

CUT. Shadow clambers on top of the dented trashcan and mimes locking on a Crippler Crossface.

CUT. Back in the AWX living room. The Bee, Nenji and Shadow are all sitting on the leather couch in tense silence. The Bee sports a band-aid on his chin and holds an ice-bag to his knee.)

NARRATOR: From here, Awesome Wrestling eXplosion will pick Turancula to join Nenji as the team to fight The Bluegrass Mafia.

SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]LOOK, I--[/glow]
(The Bee grunts and shakes his head "no".)

NARRATOR: But make no mistake, they are all very dangerous men.

(Turancula walks into the living room, followed by the sound of Fido scrabbling on the hardwood floor.)

TURANCULA: (to The Bee) What happened to you?

NARRATOR: This has been Ian Griffin-Stewart, your narrator.

(END.)

[Matthew Kurtis]

((("The Angry American" Matthew Kurtis is in an old sweatbox of a gym pounding away at punching bag when Lyndsey Valentine walks over and joins him...)))

LYNDSEY: Are you about finished,Matt?

MATTHEW: Yeah just cooling down. After I get done here I'll shower and we'll get outta here.

(((Matthew punches the bag with all his might and it swings wildly and the sound of the punch echoes through-out the mostly abandonded gym. Matthew picks up his gym bag a few feet from the gym's benchpress equipment,and walks to the showers. Lyndsey follows along beside him.)))

LYNDSEY:So are you really for your match this week against the Bee and the Shadow or whoever the AWX puts in there against you guys?

MATTHEW: Hmmpppfff...The Bee and the Shadow sounds like a couple of second rate comic book superheros and so do the rest of the idiots.

LYNDSEY(laughing): Yes they do, but they do seem to like talking trash. Well at least about Chad.

MATTHEW: Well they and their narrator can talk all they want, and they are but not saying much of value. And apparently they operate on some type of "Freebird" rule where any members of the AWX can take on any given opponent. They can try to play mind games or be funny or do whatever the Hell it is that they're doing in their promos but in the end it won't really matter.

LYNDSEY: And why's that,Matt?

MATTHEW: Because what happened last week with me letting my emotions getting the better of me won't happen again. I'm tired of losing and I'm fairly pissed off but usually my anger helps me and doesn't cloud my judgement like it did last week. The AMX said that they lost their fear of me? Well I'll just have to reinstill the fear of me into them, and I'll do it even if I have to break every one of their Damned necks to do so!

LYNDSEY: I think you'd do it too. And you know that I'll do my best to keep the others at bay no matter how many are there. If they try to interfere I'll just have to kick their asses.

MATTHEW: That's true,Lynds. So if Bumblebee and Shady are going to be the ones to man-up and face us in the ring that's fine. And anyone else that the ABC or whatever they want to call themselves want to send at us they'd better be prepared to be hurt and be ready to bleed.Because the BGM will win and the Alpha-bits,if we let them,will survive. The losing stops this week and the beatings begin.

(((Matthew and Lyndsey reach the gym's locker-room and Matthew heads into the shower and pulls Lyndsey in after him as the scene fades.)))

["The Show" Chad Kurtis]

Scene begins as "The Show" Chad Kurtis is cooling off from his workout with a serious of kick boxing and mixed martial art moves. He new trainer, John Hackleman, stands watch over him as he continues to work on combination. He is joined by close friend and wrestling journalist, Johnny Beautiful.

Johnny B: So, this is way you made me travel all the way to do a store about your new trainer. I must say I was surprised to see the legendary, John Hackleman, trainer to Chuck Liddell now training "The Show" Chad Kurtis. How did this come to be?

Chad: Simple actually. I mean I was looking for a way to get my edge back, so I got to thinking who the baddest of the bad? One name came to mind, so my next question was what or who keeps him driving on, then that when I looked up John (Hackleman) to see if he had time to fit "The Show" into his schedule.

Johnny B: So now that you have a new personal trainer, how's does that affect your training routine. I mean before you was just training yourself. Does it help to have someone pushing you?

Chad: To be honest John told me that for the most part I had a really good training regime. I mean let's be honest it did land me on the cover of Men's Health magazine, but what I was missing was focus and discipline. I mean we still work on my speed and strength daily, but now we also work on staying focused no matter what that why I can adapt and overcome no matter what hand I am dealt!

Johnny B: Let's move on and talk about you match up against AWX ? They seem to be playing mind games with you calling you the weakness leak and so are, has this affected your training at all?

Chad: To tell you the truth, I have heard a world they said and could care less what they have been saying. I mean talk is cheap. John has cut me off from media this week except this little interview. Matt has been keeping me updated on all the junk AWX has been saying, but like I said talk is cheap and when we face off in the squared circle all the cute little saying or funny little jokes won't matter anymore! I don't care which of them climb into the ring, 'cause BGM is going to hand AWX their ass and their is nothing they can do about it except...

Johnny B: Except what? You said except then you pause and just left us hanging, so except what?

Chad: Except prepare themselves for defeat! I didn't want to say that 'cause I want them to come in the match up like they actually have a chance to win. I want them to come into the match giving it there all that way when we squash them like a fly there is no excuses! That way when we beat them there is no doubt that The Bluegrass Mafia is back in in full force!

Hackleman is heard in the background telling Johnny B no more questions.

Chad: Before you go I have a message for you to take back to Canada with you. The message is a warning to everyone and anyone who dares go against The Bluegrass Mafia! The message is that if you get in our way prepare to experience pain and suffering like never before, because from now on when the bottom line is we will do whatever it takes to wins, because when it comes down to it the ends justifies the means!

Scene fades as "The Show" prepares to begin his steeple chase and then head back to Canada for the show.

[AWX Wrestling]

(START. From ground level, we look up between the gap between two two-story Whyte Avenue buildings. A white-clad figure leaps across the gap from one to the other, and keeps moving.)

NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]YAHOOOOOOOO!!![/glow]
(CUT. A tracking shot of Nenji as he moves across Whyte Avenue rooftops, his expression ecstatic despite his bandaged nose.)

Ode to Joy

(Nenji executes a running flip, and continues his exercise.)

NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]YEAH!!![/glow]
(The music comes to a halt, and Nenji brakes against the rooftop gravel. He reaches into his ninja tunic and retrieves his cell phone, blaring "Mambo No. 5". He flips it open and puts it to his ear.)

NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]DEDJI.[/glow]
(Pause.)

[glow=blue,2,300]OH, H--[/glow]
Oh, hey. (Pause.) Yeah, I'b on Whyde Abedue.

(CUT. At a patio table outside the Varscona Hotel Second Cup, Nenji--looking somewhat different in his baggy hoodie and blue jeans--sits across from a blonde woman in her twenties. She has Nenji's heavy-lidded eyes and easy smile. Both of them cadle frappucinos in their hands.)

WOMAN: So, uh, how long-- (She points to her own nose.)

NENJI: Oh, dis? (Tries to wrinkle his nose through his bandage.) Mebbe aboud a week.

WOMAN: (Chuckles.) You sound like you have a cold, man.

NENJI: Baybe a bacho, rugged code?

WOMAN: I don't think you can have a macho cold.

NENJI: Awww, baaan!

(Pause.)

NENJI: Oh, well. Leazt we got dat darrator dow.

WOMAN: Look, can we talk about what you're doing?

NENJI: Whaddyu wadda dalk 'bout?

WOMAN: (She sets out to talk, but musters a smile instead. She squints, motions with her outstretched hand, and shakes her head.) You know. You know what this is about.

NENJI: I'be ztill godda be a wretsler.

WOMAN: (Smiling, archly.) Why? Why am I still having to have this conversation with you?

NENJI: You're dot id charge of be.

WOMAN: Well, apparently not! Apparently a midget in a bee suit is!

NENJI: He's by fred.

WOMAN: I mean, look at you, (silenced)! You have a broken nose, for crying out loud!

NENJI: Dode use dat dame. Call me Dedji whed I'b od cabera.

(The woman drops her jaw in near shock. She starts looking around the patio, before looking directly at us in contempt.)

WOMAN: How the--there's a camera across the street. YOU BROUGHT A CAMERA?

NENJI: Iad dinks zomeding in'reding could happen.

WOMAN: --okay, "NENJI", I don't want you getting killed on Tuesday and I think you should pull out of the fight.

NENJI: Doe bay, Barce

MARCE: You just got through getting messed up in your last fight--

NENJI: Dis is duttin'. I wen troo a table once.

MARCE: Don't remind me! I was crying!

NENJI: I'be ztill godda be a wretsler.

MARCE: I just wish... (Frustrated, she groans.) ... y'know, go to school!

NENJI: Diz iz judt typical. D! god diz from hid fabily ad he nebber gabe it up.

MARCE: (Smiling hysterically.) D!... D! went insane being a wrestler, don't you get that?

NENJI: Okay, we dote hab to dalk 'bout hib. (Shrugs.) Dook, Bister Zlick hit me wid a zucker pudch, okay?

MARCE: It's not your last match, it's... it's your new one, okay? These brothers, this Hillbilly Mafia--

NENJI: --Bluegraz--

MARCE: --Bluegrass Mafia, holy crap, one of them's seven feet tall--

NENJI: Turacula had ad idterezing ztory about--

MARCE: NO, I, dammit, I watch the internet clips. Do you know who they've got training them for this match? Chuck Liddell.

NENJI: I dote doe who dat is.

MARCE: Yeah, well I looked him up. He's this huge UFC guy. Actually, kind of like one of the best UFC guys.

NENJI: Cruzher dose Petey Williabs.

MARCE: NOBODY CARES WHO-- (Breathes.) Seriously. I'm afraid the Bluegrass Mafia are gonna cripple you.

NENJI: Iz diz about dere liddle bideos?

MARCE: Well, yeah!

NENJI: Dey're zuppode to zay dings like dat. Ids, like, what ebery wretsler doez.

MARCE: (Sipping her frap.) I don't see you do it.

NENJI: (Shrugs.) I godda Didja Code to uphode.

(Pause. Marce looks at Nenji, her sadness magnified by her heavy-lidded eyes.)

NENJI: Bezide. Aw we godda do iz focuz od Chad Kurtiz. Zhadow zaid he's da weak wud.

(Pause. Her accusatory sadness lingers between them.)

NENJI: Ebery match dey lozt wuz becaud ob hib.

MARCE: Please don't do this match.

NENJI: (Throws arms up in air.) I'B DOOID DIZ BATCH! (Pause. He recovers himself.) I'be zeed deir liddle bideos. Dey're id dedial. De Kurtiz brudders ruddid deir mouds aboud how da A-W-eck id zuppozed to be fuddy? Deres duddid fuddy aboud be ad by buddies. We obliteraded Zlick and Berdero and we're godda do id agaid.

(He stands, never breaking eye contact with her, but smiling gently.)

NENJI: All by life I'b beed putched aroud by bullies, Barce. Dowadays I bight back. (Pause.) You raized be after Bob died. But I'b dot a kid adybore.

(The blur of a passing car crosses the street for the first time. When the blur passes, Nenji is gone, and his sister is left alone at the table.

CUT. The camera catches Nenji walking up the sidewalk before turning on the short path to the AWX house.

CUT. Shadow is lying down on the front steps. Nenji walks into the frame, looks down at Shadow, and sighs. He fishes his housekeys out of his hoodie and goes to silently unlock his front door. A rustle of the keys has Shadow tilt his neck up, just as Nenji unlocks the door and steps through.)

SHADOW: Ruh?

(CUT. Inside the house foyer, Nenji steps through the doorway, kicks off his tennis shoes, and heads for the staircase with intent. Shadow dogs after him.)

SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]HEY, WAIT.[/glow]
(CUT. Shot from the top of the staircase. Nenji stops, Shadow running up to right behind him.)

NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]I'B DOT FEELID OKAY. I'B GOID TO LIE DOWD.[/glow]
SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]PLEASE. WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE MATCH.[/glow]
NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]GO ABTER CHAD KURTIZ. I DOE, I GOD ID.[/glow]
SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]GIMME YOUR SPOT. PLEASE.[/glow]
(Nenji's face blanches, and he turns around to face Shadow. ZOOM IN on Shadow's pleading face.)

SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YA, DUDE. THE BEE'S GONNA CUT ME, I KNOW IT.[/glow]
NENJI: (off) [glow=blue,2,300]HE WOULD'T DO DAT.[/glow]
SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]NO, PLEASE, I DON'T WANNA GO. I LIKE IT HERE. YOU GUYS ARE MY BUDDIES. DON'T LET THEM THROW ME OUT, MAN.[/glow]
NENJI: (off) [glow=blue,2,300]DOBODY'S GODDA--[/glow]
(Shadow lurches fowards. ZOOM OUT slightly to frame Nenji, as Shadow holds onto the front of his hoodie.)

SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]HE'S PISSED AT ME BECAUSE I ACCIDENTALLY BEAT HIM UP--[/glow]
NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]--ID WAD AN ATZIDENT--[/glow]
SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]--HE'S GONNA CUT ME, MAN, AND I GOTTA PROVE MYSELF TO HIM. BESIDES, I'M THE BEST GUY TO MAKE CHAD KURTIS TAP.[/glow]
NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]I... OH, BAN...[/glow]
SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]COME ON...[/glow]
NENJI: (sighs.) [glow=blue,2,300]FIDE.[/glow]
(Nenji turns around and starts walking up the stairs. The camera follows him, but Shadow stays put on the staircase.)

SHADOW: (off) [glow=red,2,300]REALLY? YOU MEAN IT?[/glow]
NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]YEAH. IT CAD BE YOU AD TURACULA.[/glow]
SHADOW: (off) [glow=red,2,300]THANK YOU! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK--[/glow]
(Nenji is seemingly led by the camera into his room, where he shuts the door behind him, cutting Shadow off. A parchment with Chinese characters adorns the inside of his door.)

NARRATOR: After a long, eventful week, Awesome Wrestling eXplosion will now be represented by Turancula and Shadow when they face The Bluegrass Mafia.

(Nenji shuffles across the room, the walls of which are almost completely covered with pictures of his friends, wrestlers, or ninjas. He walks over to his bed, heads to the edge farthest from the camera, and sits on it, facing away from us, looking out of his window into a drab afternoon.)

NARRATOR: And all Nenji can think about is something his friend Sakura once told him.

This has been Ian Griffin-Stewart, your narrator.

(END.)

[Matthew Kurtis]

(((Matthew Kurtis and Lyndsey Valentine are loading their gear in his truck when Matthew's cell phone rings, he quickly answers it...)))

MATTHEW: Hello? Hey Chad. What? Oh really,I ain't surprised. They're just trying to play mind games.UH-hh...yeah...really...I see...Okay. Yeah we're fixing to head that way now. We'll see you in Canada. Talk to you later bro.

(((Matthew closes his phone. Matthew and Lyndsey load his truck as they talk about the phone call...)))

LYNDSEY:I'm guessing that was Chad. So what did he have to say?

MATTHEW: Not alot really,besides that the AMX has changed the duo that will face us in the ring on Tuesday. The Bee apparently turned chicken and will be replaced by Turcanula. So Shady at least seems to be braver than the Bumblebee. From what Chad said,Shady also nearly begged to keep his place in the match and face us in the ring.

LYNDSEY: Well that ain't the smartest thing I've ever heard somebody do.

MATTHEW: I agree,Lynds. Shady ought to keep in mind the old saying saying "be careful what you wish for because you just might get in it." Their idiotic ninja wanna-be buddy tried to bush-off Chad's training with Chuck Liddell and my saying I'll break every one of their necks if I have to.

LYNDSEY: Oh he did? Trying to rally the troops,huh?

MATTHEW: Yeah I guess. The stuffed up ninja wanted to point out how they obliterated their opponents last week. Like that means shit to me. It's easy to beat people when it's 5 on 2 or however many of them they are. But we've seen them in action so we know that all of the Alpha-Bits will be around the ring and trying to interfere in the match.

LYNDSEY: Try being the key word. I'll just have to teach any of them that try to get involved the lesson of their ways. I'm sure I can handle them,after all I did ring take down Jake Phoenix two weeks in a row.

MATTHEW: Well it's like I said earlier this week,If we have to take all of the ABC's out to win the match we will and if we have to cripple them to do so...well so be it. Shady and Turancula I ain't just saying that "because I'm a wrestler and am supposed to" like your little ninja buddy says.So y'all had better make your peace with God,because Tuesday will suffer,you will bleed,and you will lose. And a friendly word of warning to your buddies if they interfere Lyndsey,Chad,and me will see that they suffer the same fate. In fact I should probably ask God for forgiveness for what I plan to do to y'all on Tuesday beforehand.

(((Matthew and Lyndsey finish loading his truck. They climb in and rive off as the scene fades to black.)))