AWX vs Ricky Bernero & Mr. Slick

[Ryan Ro [NAPW]]

Awesome Wrestling eXplosion vs "Risky Business" Ricky Bernero & Mr. Slick

Debuts and re-debuts! Which AWX members will take to the ring in this tag match? The fireplug Nenji? The mysterious Shadow? The "Latino Sensation" Turancula? WHO IS THE BEE? Whatever combination AWX brings to this tag team match, they will have their hands full with newcomer Ricky Bernero and the returning two-time TV Champion, Mr. Slick!

[AWX Wrestling]

(START. Brilliantly illuminated by morning sunlight, the kitchen and its contents stand in sharp relief on your flat screen. The curtains are drawn from the windows; along the walls, various framed pictures of either Nenji and/or The Bee hang, and where there aren't, there is a wall clock. At the head of the table, a midget in a bee costume is busy wolfing down pre-cut chunks of syrupy waffles; meanwhile, a young man with long, dark hair eats his Frosted Flakes with relative restraint. A.M. radio plays nasally in the background.

CUT. The same shot, later. The room is more evenly-lit, the table cleared. With a lack of direct noise, you can make out birdsong in the ambient background.

CUT. The same shot, later. The Bee and Nenji have resumed their seats, with Nenji leaning over to place pads and pencils at various positions.)

NARRATOR: 12:00 pm. The AWX meets to discuss their debut-slash-re-debut at NAPW Tagstravaganza II.

(A lanky, stubble-headed man walks up to the kitchen table, tucks his wrap-around shades into his trenchcoat, drops his backpack at the foot of his chair, and removes his trenchcoat to drape it across the chair's back. Shadow sits down.)

NARRATOR: The running documentary shot on The Bee have generated positive buzz about the legendary wrestler and his federation, Awesome Wrestling eXplosion. The buzz reached none other than NAPW Commissioner Rex Caliber, who signed the AWX for a try-out match.

(A pony-tailed Latino in a dark suit and white tie strides into the shot, silently. Turancula effortlessly slides into his seat.)

NARRATOR: This match will also debut-slash-re-debut returning NAPW wrestler Mr. Slick, as well as "Risky Business" Ricky Bernero.

(Pause. All four men look at each other.)

NARRATOR: Sakura has not arrived, so the four start the meeting without him.

(The three grown men look in unison at The Bee, who stands on his booster seat, raises his right hand, and cups his heart with the left.)

NARRATOR: The Bee recites the sixty-four verse AWX oath by heart.

(CUT. The same shot, later. Everyone is seated, and is writing on their pads.)

NARRATOR: 12:06 pm. As a meeting ice-breaker, each wrestler must try to connect a nine-dot grid with only four straight lines.

(CUT. The same shot, with Turancula crossing his arms across his chest, a stern expression.)

NARRATOR: 12:15 pm. Turancula expresses concerns about appearing in a company that fired him before he could even have a match.

(CUT. In front of an NAPW backdrop, a Josh Reynolds backstage interview is happening to an even younger-looking, short-haired Nenji. Behind him is a barely-recognizeable Turancula in short hair, scandalously under-dressed in wrestling trunks.)

TURANCULA: Nobody better pick on my little friend. (Chuckles.)

NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]HEY, WHO ARE YOU CALLING LITTLE?[/glow]
NARRATOR: This was Turancula's only aired NAPW appearance.

(CUT. Back to the main shot of the kitchen. The Bee is standing on the table, grunting and stomping his feet as he wiggles the little felt stinger on his fanny.)

NARRATOR: The Bee convinces his team that the past is the past, and that the AWX is collectively the most dominant force to hit professional wrestling. While they have all been underestimated in the past, they all have a chance to prove how tough they are.

(The Bee starts running around in a tight circle, shrieking.)

NARRATOR: And also that they are an unbeatable in tag competition.

(CUT. A close-up of Turancula's face, silent, intense, and bug-eyed.)

NARRATOR: Turancula's fears are assuaged.

(CUT. The main kitchen shot. Everyone looks at Nenji, who holds up two fingers.)

NARRATOR: 12:54 pm. Nenji reminds his teammates that Mr. Slick has been known to employ a nearly-identical double in the past.

(Shadow, seated beside him, taps his cheek.)

NARRATOR: Shadow inquires if there are any identifying scars or marks on either man.

(Nenji waves his hand dismissively.)

NARRATOR: But no one in the room has ever faced Slick personally.

(Nenji points at his eyes, then traces lines outwards from them.)

NARRATOR: So Nenji warns his teammates to keep their eyes on him at all times.

(CUT. The same shot. The three grown men sit passively at the table while The Bee works on another plate of waffles.)

NARRATOR: 2:00 pm. Waffle break.

(CUT. The same shot. All four men are giggling, with Shadow snorting and slapping the table.)

NARRATOR: 2:30 pm. The AWX tries to discuss "Risky Business", but this causes them to lose focus and discuss the movie of the same name.

(Pause. Shadow is laughing so hard he can barely breathe.)

NARRATOR: They all enjoyed it.

(CUT. The same shot. All four men are looking at each other with intense, serious faces.)

NARRATOR: 2:46 pm. They then discuss the wrestler.

(CUT. The same shot. All four men are laughing again.)

NARRATOR: 2:49 pm. And then the movie again.

(CUT. The same shot. They are all almost calmed down, with Shadow wiping tears from his eyes.)

NARRATOR: 3:05 pm. Shadow volunteers to do some research on their unknown opponent.

(CUT. The same shot. Shadow and Turancula look expectantly at The Bee and Nenji.)

NARRATOR: 4:10 pm. Turancula and Shadow ask their teammates what it was like meeting the NAPW Champion, Ravager.

(CUT. Close-up of Nenji, who crosses his arms and stares at his lap.)

NARRATOR: Nenji allows The Bee to field that question.

(CUT. The same shot. All four men hold specialty cards in their hands, with many more on the table.)

NARRATOR: 4:10 pm. Raw Deal break.

(CUT. The main kitchen shot. The cards have been put away. The Bee pores over a document at the head of the table, wearing a green accountant's visor cap.)

NARRATOR: 4:10 pm. Finances. There is the matter of one outstanding fine.

(Nenji raises his hand.)

NARRATOR: Nenji volunteers to work collection.

(CUT. The same shot. The light has started to fade outside. The three grown men look at The Bee, who strokes his chin in thought.)

NARRATOR: 4:10 pm. They ask the big question--who will work the debut match?

(The Bee tilts his head in concentration, his costume antennae flopping to the side.)

NARRATOR: The Bee will have to get back to them on that one.

(CUT. The same shot. Nenji is out of his seat and standing at the table, working the back of the wall clock with a screwdriver.)

NARRATOR: 4:10 pm. Nenji fixes the clock.

(CUT. The same shot. The room is now half-lit by the evening dusk, and half-lit by the kitchen lights. The clock is back on the wall. The four stablemates are seated and enjoying a slice of pie.)

NARRATOR: 8:30 pm. The big question--who would their dream opponents be, one-on-one?

(CUT. Close-up of Shadow, chewing thoughtfully.)

NARRATOR: Samoa Joe.

(CUT. Close-up of Turancula, neatly daubing his lips with his napkin.)

NARRATOR: Rex Caliber.

(CUT. Close-up of Nenji, looking incredibly serious.)

NARRATOR: Ravager.

(CUT. Close-up of The Bee, his lips smeared with blueberry filling.)

NARRATOR: Andre the Giant.

(CUT. The main kitchen shot. All four men stand up. The three grown men pick up their plates, and Nenji picks up The Bee's for him.)

NARRATOR: But if you ask them about their dream tag match, the answer is unanimous.

(The Bee hops down from his chair, and out of the shot.)

NARRATOR: Mr. Slick and Ricky Bermero.

(The remaining three men walk away from the table, and out-of-frame.)

NARRATOR: At this time in their lives, there is no other match.

This has been Ian Griffin-Stewart, your narrator.

(END.)

[AWX Wrestling]

(START. The opening shot is that of a hotel room door, shot from the inside. There is a knock at the door, excited and chirpy. This summons a short-haired, cruel-looking, professionally-dressed man. He opens the door to reveal two figures standing there... a young man with long dark hair, and a midget in a bee costume. Both are wearing lumberjack flannels over their clothes and pose with axes.

Beat. Nenji and The Bee flash some earnest smiles.)

RAVAGER: I'll let you know.

(Ravager shuts the door, and then walks away, off-frame.)

NARRATOR: When The Bee learned that The Crusher had passed him on as a tag-team partner. he'd bounced back quickly, and pitched the AWX' services to Ravager, the NAPW Champion.

(CUT. Nenji and The Bee, still dressed as lumberjacks, stroll through a wooded ravine, hefting their axes.)

NARRATOR: It was a difficult thing for Nenji to do. Ravager has always been, in Nenji's opinion, a controversial champion. To help him out might constitute what Shadow would term "A personal whoring-death."

(CUT. The Bee huffs and puffs, and finally summons the strength to swing his over-sized axe at a tree. He misses by a good foot, nearly striking Nenji in the shin.)

NARRATOR: Ultimately, it was a sacrifice that Nenji was willing to make for Awesome Wrestling eXplosion as a whole.

(CUT. In the AWX' backyard, in the wrestling ring comprised as a perimeter of garden hose. A stubbly-headed young man has Nenji in a Boston Crab, while The Bee and a dark-suited, white-tied Latino circle each other intently.)

NARRATOR: AWX is his family. They fight together, train together, and ultimately, make sacrifices for one another. Every day, they put their lives in each other's hands.

(CUT. Downtown Edmonton, apparently the aptly-named Boardwalk Market sidewalk. Nenji rocks a baggy hoodie and Harry Potter scarf today, his hair and scarf blowing after him in the wind.)

NARRATOR: In five days, the AWX will make their NAPW debut-slash-re-debut against Mr. Slick and "Risky Business" Ricky Bernero. There is much they need to learn about their opponents; as well, they have yet to solidify which two wrestlers will form the tag team.

(CUT. Past the Boardwalk Market, Nenji continues through the upscale part of Downtown. He stops in his tracks, then fishes out a note from his hoodie and examines it.)

NARRATOR: But today, Nenji is on official business, working collections.

(Nenji walks up to the entrance of a diner, The Blue Plate Cafe. He checks the address against his note, and then looks down the street. The camera follows his gaze onto a car, a white Honda Civic with a severely-dented bumper.

CUT. Sitting at a table inside the trendy diner are two men--one with mid-length, dirty blond hair, the other a thickly-built man with short hair and a goatee. Both men wear quality leather jackets. The thick man speaks first.)

THE HATCHET: See, it's like this sandwich, right?

THE FIXER: Like your sandwich.

THE HATCHET: I want beef, I want onions, I want mustard. Here's what I got: tofu, bean sprouts, and chutney.

THE FIXER: What's chutney?

THE HATCHET: It's like a, whattayacall, Paki marmalade. So I take a bite--

THE FIXER: --of your sandwich--

THE HATCHET: --of my sandwich, an' let me tell you somethin'. I don't like tofu.

THE FIXER: Yeah.

THE HATCHET: I don't like bean sprouts.

THE FIXER: Yeah.

THE HATCHET: Chutney--

THE FIXER: Fuhgeddaboutit.

THE HATCHET: Fuhgeddaboutit, right. But together, y'know, they play off each other, it ain't bad.

THE FIXER: Like a great tag team. You take elements that don't make sense on their own, you pair 'em together and WHAM-O, ya got magic.

THE HATCHET: Ya got magic.

THE FIXER: So you're good?

THE HATCHET: (Throwing his sandwich onto his plate with disgust.) HELL no, there was a chicken sandwich and I didn't order it!

THE FIXER: Don't worry about it, we're out of money anyways.

THE HATCHET: Hey, how's that going, anyways? You got any new jobs lined up for us?

THE FIXER: Yeah, yeah. Well, one o' dem "self-starter" projects.

THE HATCHET: Yeah?

THE FIXER: Yeah, I got this cousin, she's goin' out of town, figure we can bust in, help ourselves to some stuff.

THE HATCHET: (Smiles.) We talkin' burglary?

THE FIXER: We ever! She lives at 18524--

(A literal pause. The conversation and the tape freeze here, mid-frame.)

NARRATOR: At this point in the proceedings I should inform our viewers that they knew we were there, taping them. They either forgot--or, just as likely, didn't seem to mind.

(The pause continues.)

NARRATOR: Here is why The Calgary Connection owes the AWX five-hundred dollars.

(CUT. Back at the AWX' backyard ring, Nenji, The Bee, Shadow and Turancula all watch in horror at something occurring off-frame.)

NARRATOR: To help cement an "indie feel" to their image, the AWX began bringing in outside talent for one-night-only contracts.

THE FIXER: (off.) EASY, BIG GUY, EASY!

NARRATOR: In March, they'd hired then-former NAPW tag team The Calgary Connection, Dave "The Hatchet" Bennett, and "The Fixer" Stu Smyth.

THE FIXER: (off.) DEEP BREATHS, TAKE DEEP BREATHS, NO, DON'T--

(From off-camera, we hear a horrific vomiting sound.)

NARRATOR: They came drunk.

THE FIXER: (off.) OKAY, IS THAT IT?

(More vomiting.)

NARRATOR: At two in the afternoon.

THE FIXER: (off.) YOU GOTTA RELAX, OKAY? LET YOUR STOMACH DO WHAT IT NEEDS TO DO.

(More vomiting.)

NARRATOR: They were fined for unprofessional conduct.

(CUT. Standing by the garage, The Fixer helps The Hatchet stand; the latter's goatee is glistening. The Fixer shouts and points to the AWX, off-camera.)

THE FIXER: HEY, SCREW YOU GUYS, WE WORK LIKE THIS ALLA TIME! WE'RE OUTTA HERE, BITCHES! YOU GUYS ARE WEAK! YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS ARE LAME! MIDGET AND A BUNCH OF FREAKS! YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE? WE WENT TOE-TO... RIGHT UP TO D-X! AND NOT THE NEW ONE, EITHER! WE FOUGHT THE REAL D-X! COME ON, HATCHET!

(The Hatchet stifles something rising in his throat. The two men stumble off to behind the garage. We hea a car door open, then close. Then another car door opens and closes. Then a car door opens and we hear vomiting. Then the door closes, and the car starts up, immediately spinning its tires and kicking up gravel. The car starts driving off, though two seconds later, we hear a loud KER-CHUNK.)

NARRATOR: And on the way out, they hit the late-arriving Sakura's van.

(CUT. The entrance of the diner, where Nenji walks in, heading directly to Calgary Connection's table. The Fixer sees him first, and fixes a glare at him.)

THE FIXER: What d'you want, kid?

NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]I'M HERE FOR OUR MONEY.[/glow]
THE FIXER: Yeah, well, we don't got it.

NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]THEN YOU'VE GOT TWO DAYS.[/glow]
THE FIXER: (To Hatchet.) Listen to the kid, with his spooky voice. "TWO DAYS!" (To Nenji.) Nah, kid, fuhgeddabout it, we're eating here. Go play in traffic.

NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]DON'T CALL ME KID.[/glow]
THE FIXER: (To Hatchet.) You believe this kid? He's built like a twelve-year-old-girl, we oughta rent him out as on of them, whaddyacall--

THE HATCHET: She-males.

THE FIXER: SHE-males, some kinda beauty pageant.

THE HATCHET: Beat it, kid, we're eating. (He resignedly picks up his sandwich and takes another bite.)

NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]I'LL TAKE OUR MONEY![/glow]
(Hatchet stands up suddenly, and mashes his two-hundred-seventy-pound frame against Nenji, half that size.)

THE HATCHET: HEY, KID, (BLEEP) OFF, WE'RE TRYING TO EAT HERE!

(Pause. The rest of the diner is looking at this confrontation, now. The Hatchet keeps pressing his girth against Nenji, who won't stand down.)

NARRATOR: Nenji's never been afraid of bullies, or people bigger than him.

(Pause. In the background, some diners cough nervously.)

NARRATOR: But there are innocent people here, honest people just trying to enjoy their lunch. It wouldn't do to see them get hurt by a fight.

NENJI: Okay. Fine.

(Nenji backs off--The Hatchet follows him back for about a foot--and backs out the way he came, keeping eye contact with the two men.

The Hatchet sits down.)

THE HATCHET: (Smiles.) What a little loser!

THE FIXER: Punk kid, fuhgettaboutit. What're we talking about?

THE HATCHET: Burglary!

(CUT. Right outside the diner. Nenji walks head-and-shoulders into the frame, fuming.)

NARRATOR: Besides, Nenji knows there are many ways to defeat an opponent.

(He suddenly breaks into a smile, reaches into his hoodie, and pulls out his cellphone. He then looks down the street--and the camera pulls focus to reveal he's looking at Calgary Connection's Honda Civic.

CUT. The diner entrance, as shot from across the street. In a commotion, Calgary Connection bolt from the restaurant, and run for their car. Before he gets in, The Hatchet yells something back at the Blue Plate Cafe.)

THE HATCHET: HA! CALGARY CONNECTION DON'T PAY FOR NOTHIN'!

(He jumps into the now-running car, and they start pulling away. No sooner than this does a wailing police car stop right behind them, causing them to freeze in their tracks.

CUT. A close-up of the Civic's trunk, which a police tool jimmies open. Lying curled up in the trunk is Nenji, his hands bound behind him with a Harry Potter scarf. By his face is his flipped-open cellphone. Nenji looks at his "rescuers" with tears in his eyes.

CUT. Calgary Connection, out of their car, looking at each other in dumb shock.

CUT. A close-up of the side of the Civic, which Calgary Connection are pushed against as handcuffs are slapped onto their wrists.

CUT. Nenji, seated outside, a police-issue blanket wrapped around him as an off-camera officer hands him a hot cup of coffee.)

NARRATOR: The police find the knot used in Nenji's bonds would be too difficult for him to self-tie.

(Nenji takes a sip of coffee, then smiles an impish little grin.)

NARRATOR: Why, one would have to be a Ninja.

(CUT. Back in the AWX' kitchen, Nenji sits at the kitchen table with The Bee, who wears his green accountant's visor.)

NARRATOR: In the end, while the five hundred was not collected, the AWX declares Calgary Connection's debt to be null and void.

(The Bee nods, sagely.

CUT. Calgary Connection, sitting glumly in the back of an RCMP cruiser.)

NARRATOR: As they're paying it off in Prison Dollars.

(CUT. The AWX' living room. A shot of Shadow and Turancula on the leather couch, looking up and past the camera as they applaud.)

NARRATOR: And so it comes by unanimous decision--

(CUT. Nenji, in his white clan uniform, standing by a proud-looking Bee. Nenji smiles graciously.)

NARRATOR: --that Nenji will be one-half of the duo that fights Mr. Slick and "Risky Business".

This has been Ian Griffin-Stewart, your narrator.

(END.)

[AWX Wrestling]

(START. We're outside a Jasper Avenue Starbucks, where a lanky, stubble-headed man in black trenchcoat and wrap-around shades is brandishing a paper Starbucks cup. He intercepts a young lady on her way into the Starbucks, and holds the cup expectantly in front of her. She frowns at him, but drops a couple of coins in his cup. He lets her go, then jogs after a man on his way out of the Starbucks. He puts his hand on the man's shoulder--the man turns around to look at him. Shadow jingles his cup full of coins at him. The man starts to turn away--)

SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]COME ON.[/glow]
(--and then he disgustedly reaches into his pocket, pulls out some change, and drops it in Shadow's cup before storming off. Shadow looks into his cup, rattles it, and smiles.

CUT. Shot from across the Starbucks counter: Shadow, hefting his backpack, comes from outside and up to the counter. He overturns his cup, and all of the change he's collected comes spilling out on the counter. He then looks across the counter and smiles.)

NARRATOR: Shadow has reached the pinnacle of human moral evolution.

(CUT. In what's probably a Chapters bookstore, Shadow sits cross-legged in front of a bookcase and reads a copy of the "300" graphic novel. Someone walks past him, oblivious.)

NARRATOR: His mind is highly-developed in martial strategy.

(CUT. Back on Jasper Ave, Shadow crisply shoves his paper cup towards the camera.)

NARRATOR: He has conquered economics.

(CUT. Shadow stands in a packed LRT car, rapping loudly along to the music in his MP3 player. His fellow passengers look at him in annoyance. or horror.)

NARRATOR: He has the fierce, raging heart of a True Artist. For months, Shadow has served as the conscience of Awesome Wrestling eXplosion.

(CUT. Shadow is now seated in an over-stuffed Starbucks chair, typing away furiously on his laptop. A fresh latte steams on the table.)

NARRATOR: To ensure victory come Tuesday, Shadow must profile "Risky Business" Ricky Bernero.

(Shadow stops typing, and watches his screen intently.)

NARRATOR: According to his bio, Ricky Bernero is from California, a former child gymnast.

(CUT. A photo still of a young pre-teen in a bowl haircut. He is decked out in a striped leotard, and is posing by a gymnastics horse. At the bottom of the still, the words "COURTESY NCBGA ARCHIVES" are superimposed.)

NARRATOR: Bernero retired from the sport of Gymnastics after falling off of rings when he was sixteen years old. He'd injured his neck. (Pause.) The Northern California Boy's Gymnastics Association refused to provide footage of this accident. (Pause.) Or any other accident. (Pause.) So we asked the Southern California Men's Gymnastics Association. (Pause.) And they said "yes".

(CUT. An unidentified blond youth bounds off of a springboard to a vaultng horse. He comes short and smacks into the horse waist-first, then hits the mats with a thud. "COURTESY SCMGA ARCHIVES")

NARRATOR: Buoyed by his failure, Bernero looked to greener pastures--professional wrestling.

(CUT. We see the top of a set of parallel bars. A red-headed youth swings up, backwards, from the front bar. He releases, and his momentum takes him past the second bar. He reaches for it, misses it, and crashes somewhere off-camera. "COURTESY SCMGA ARCHIVES")

NARRATOR: Bernero set out to emulate the high-flying antics of Hayabusa, Mankind, and Sid Vicious.

(CUT. Another blond youth vaults onto a pommel horse, fails to clear the first double leg swing, smokes his legs against the horse, loses balance and comes tumbling down "COURTESY SCMGA ARCHIVES")

NARRATOR: Given his background, Bernero has taken to applying his terrible gymnastics background to his moveset.

(CUT. A black youth sails towards a high bar, and seizes it. He scissors his legs as he attempts his first revolution, but does not carry over to the top. He swings back the way he came, then loses his grip, and falls, crotch first, to the ground. "COURTESY SCMGA ARCHIVES")

NARRATOR: Moves such as the Corkscrew Moonsault.

(CUT. A brown-haired youth performs a floor routine. He arches his leg, points it back, throws out his arms, and then attempts a rear somersault, landing on his head. "COURTESY SCMGA ARCHIVES")

NARRATOR: The Standing Shooting Star Press.

(CUT. A third blond youth makes a run for the springboard, somehow catches it with his feet and lands painfully face-first on the mat before the springboard rapidly springs his legs back up. "COURTESY SCMGA ARCHIVES")

NARRATOR: And the Holy Rolling Hell.

(CUT. Another black youth springs onto the vault horse, grabs the handles, and begins performing a flawless execution of grace as he twists one, two, three, four times before landing, cat-like, onto his feet on the other side. Then some other kid lands on him. "COURTESY SCMGA ARCHIVES")

NARRATOR: World, meet Ricky Bernero.

(CUT. A tracking head-and-shoulders shot of Shadow as he struts down Jasper Ave, his mouth barely suppressing a wicked smile.)

NARRATOR: Shadow has seen the best that Bernero has to offer, and he is not afraid. "Risky Business" puts too much value on flashy flips. Shadow is more concerned about systematically dismantling his opponents.

(CUT. In the AWX' backyard ring, Shadow tussles with Nenji, yanking his arm behind him at an awkward angle.)

NARRATOR: The Chickenwing, to eliminate the striking arm.

(CUT. In the ring, Shadow slips behind a rowdy Turancula and criss-crosses his ams across his neck and face, causing the Latino Sensation to flail his arms madly.)

NARRATOR: The Sleeper, to sap strength.

(CUT. In the ring, Shadow clutches The Bee's torso under his armpit. The Bee swings and kicks his little arms and legs.)

NARRATOR: The Abdominal Stretch, to immoblize the opponent.

(CUT. In the ring, Shadow stands alone, clad in his trenchcoat, and grinning at the camera. He keeps his arms tucked behind his back.)

NARRATOR: And when the odds don't work in your favour--

(Shadow reveals what he had hidden behind his back--a snow shovel.)

NARRATOR: --make new odds.

(CUT. Shadow strolls up the sidewalk leading to the AWX house.)

NARRATOR: Nenji has already been named one-half of the AWX tag team at Tagstravaganza II.

(Shadow turns off the sidewalk, crosses some lawn, and bounds up the front steps to the house to find Turancula standing there, his trusty pug Fido on a leash.)

NARRATOR: And soon, the other half will be named.

(Turancula bugs his eyes at Shadow, then crisply rings the doorbell.)

NARRATOR: Someone with the toughness, ring smarts, and love of perfection that will crack the NAPW in half and announce that Awesome Wrestling eXplosion has arrived.

(Shadow and Turancula exchange a glare.)

NARRATOR: To Shadow, it's an easy choice.

(The door opens. The camera tilts down to reveal a non-plussed-looking Bee, out of uniform with a tiny towel held around his waist and a bee-adorned shower cap on his bald head. He glares at both men, then steps back and shuts the door behind him.)

NARRATOR: One that The Bee will make when he is ready.

This has been Ian Griffin-Stewart, your narrator.

(END.)

[AWX Wrestling]

(START. We get a close-up of a jet-haired, bug-eyed Latino man pulling his hair back with a comb.)

NARRATOR: People ask about Turancula's history.

(He catches his hair behind his head with one hand, and sets his comb down off-camera.)

NARRATOR: Turancula was born Latino. Latinos are naturally-gifted wrestlers.

(He brings a hair-tie up, and fastens a tight pony-tail behind his head.)

NARRATOR: And that's his history.

(CUT. A dark pug with a white collar sits patiently on a red, satin-sheeted bed. A dark suit walks into the frame.)

(CUT. Shot from a perpendicular angle, Turancula tightens his white tie around his collar, and looks at where the dog in the foreground.)

TURANCULA: Let's go.

(CUT. The outside of a front door, which swings open as Turancula heads out into the cool night air. We hear a dog's paws shuffling under the camera frame. Turancula takes three steps before a scarlet-and-black figure can be seen behind him, in the house. Turancula stops, but doesn't turn around.)

TURANCULA: Mama.

(The camera pulls focus, blurring Turancula and defining a dark-haired, middle-aged Latina in a frilly red-and-black dress. A rose is set in her up-swept hair.)

TURANCULA: Don't wait up.

(The camera pulls focus to Turancula again, and he resumes his path away from the door and the camera.

CUT. A close-up of Turancula's impossibly-hot mom. She scowls, and clicks her tongue.

CUT. A tracking shot of a black Mustang with a white top as it cruises through an Edmonton street.)

NARRATOR: Awesome Wrestling eXplosion is merely a few nights away from their NAPW debut-slash-re-debut. This historic night will showcase the AWX versus "Risky Business" Ricky Bernero, and the former Television Champ Mr. Slick

(The Mustang audibly shifts gears, and starts overtaking other cars.)

NARRATOR: Nenji will be one-half of the team. The other man has yet to be determined.

(The camera inexplicably stays with the Mustang as it gracefully glides a left-hand turn through an intersection.)

NARRATOR: Shadow has been tirelessly profiling their opponent, Ricky Bernero.

(CUT. Close-up: Turancula's hypnotic gaze, as reflected by his rear-view mirror.)

NARRATOR: But there is still important information missing from Shadow's report.

(CUT. The tracking shot of the Mustang.)

NARRATOR: You can be smart all you want, but smarts don't win matches.

(CUT. Inside the Mustang, Turancula is the model of smoky calm as he effortlessly glides his car through another high-speed turn. Fido is seat-belted in the shotgun seat.)

NARRATOR: Cool wins matches.

(CUT. Sizzling salsa music cues up as the Mustang comes to a smooth stop in front of Caliente Latin Club on Jasper Avenue. Hit it.)

Elvis Crespo - Suavemente

(CUT. Inside Caliente, the front door swings open, and Turancula and Fido saunter in. He crosses the bar, all-business--nodding quickly to one of his amigos--and heads straight for the bar. We follow him in one fluid shot. There, a grizzled Latino bartender sizes Turancula up. Never breaking eye contact with Turancula, he whips out a shot glass, then a bottle of tequila, which he uses to splash the glass half-full. The then returns the bottle and pulls out a second brand of tequila, which he splashes in the remainder of the glass. He slides the glass four inches to Turancula, who deftly picks it up, brings it to his lips, then slams it back. He snaps the glass back onto the counter. the barman hands him a handkerchief, which he then uses to quickly daub his lips. The whips the cloth at the bartender, who catches it. Turancula then turns around again, to look into the club and past the camera.)

TURANCULA: Okay.

(SERIES OF CUTS. Sexy, virile Latinos are working their magic on the dance floor. Sure-footed men with gold jewelry. Luscious, brown-skinned women. Spicy vixens in coloured dresses. Smooth-hipped male sex gods with perfect hair.

CUT. Turancula walks noiselessly through the club, looking around--until his eyes find and fixate on something--

CUT. --or someone. We start with a pair of sure-footed pumps, out of which grow a long, long pair of tanned, golden legs. They disappear into the hem of a tight black dress, which suggests at writhing, undulating curvature. A pair of smooth, toned arms pump rhythmically around the rise and fall of black-clad breasts. And billowing from the top of the dress like a pure stream of cloud is the supple neck, smooth face and wild black hair of a Latina mamacita[/b], the white flower in her hair flashing in and out like a strobe.

CUT. Back to the shot of Turancula, letting his eyes bulge for a second before regaining his cool. The corners of his lips curl, and he begins walking forward.

CUT. A camera trails behind Turancula as he works his way through the crowd and to the sexy [/i]mamacita. Just as he is about to reach her, another man in an orange shirt gets to her first, and slides his hand around her waist. Stunned, she smiles at him coyly before they start to dance together. Within seconds, Turancula seizes the man by the shoulder and hauls him back from her. This surprises both of them, and the man shoots him a deathly look.)

TURANCULA: She doesn't like you.

(The man's face grows sour, and he balls up his fists, ready to strike.)

TURANCULA: (To the mamacita.) I'm in the Mustang.

(Pause. She looks at both men, uncertain.)

TURANCULA: (To the mamacita.) Go.

(And she does. This infuriates the man in the orange shirt, who starts shaking his fists, ready to throw down.)

TURANCULA: We cool?

(The man rears his right fist back, grimaces, and then throws his fingers apart in a show of regret. He slumps his shoulders, defeated.)

MAN: I just wanted to be you.

(Turancula puts his hand on the man's shoulder.)

TURANCULA: I know.

(CUT. In the AWX' living room, The Bee and Nenji sit on the leather couch, lost in thought. At their feet, Shadow lies back on the hardwood floor, staring at the ceiling.)

NARRATOR: The AWX has one last piece of the puzzle to solve for Tuesday.

(Turancula saunters into the room, Fido scrabbling in behind him.)

NARRATOR: If Mr. Slick brings his double, how will they know which one is their real opponent?

(They all look at Turancula.

CUT. Head-and-shoulders of Turancula.)

TURANCULA: If you want to know who the original is, see how the copy treats him.

(CUT. Full shot of The Bee and Nenji on the couch They look at each other, nod in unison, and then send their nod towards Turancula.)

NARRATOR: And so it's obvious: Turancula will partner with Nenji in the match.

(CUT. Close-up of Shadow's face, wincing in disappointment.

CUT. Back to the shot of Bee and Nenji. Fido hops up on the couch between them, and then turns around to face the camera. Turancula walks behind the couch, and leans in to stare at the camera. Shadow sits up from the floor, smiling quixotically, to finish the "family photo".)

NARRATOR: Leaving Awesome Wrestling eXplosion free and clear to tear the house down on Tuesday night's Tagstravaganza.

This has been Ian Griffin-Stewart, your narrator.

(END.)