Post by AWX Wrestling on Apr 30, 2007 16:01:40 GMT -5
(START. In the living room, a midget in a bee costume--The Bee--lies on his back, completely flat on the hardwood floor. His look is one of serious determination.)
NARRATOR: In the Bee's house, Monday is a sacred day for the sport of wrestling.
(Pause. The Bee takes a deep, deep breath, then exhales. Pause. He does this again.)
NARRATOR: Training occurs in the morning. The Bee wishes to be extra-ready for when he teams up with The Crusher.
(Nenji walks into the shot, carrying an arm-load of couch cushions. He places them, one by one, on top of The Bee.)
NARRATOR: The Bee's specially-designed regimen keeps him in championship shape.
(Nenji takes two steps back, pulls a battery-powered clock off of an end table, and waits.)
NARRATOR: This exercise is designed to help the Bee "explode" out of tight situations.
NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]GO![/glow]
(The Bee starts struggling under the couch cushions. He grunts, puffs, and shimmies, with the cushion pile basically keeping the same shape. He lets out a long groan, and attempts some kind of curl-up. This fails. He begins rocking from side-to-side which at first accomplishes nothing, but then manages to knock off the top couch cushion. Buoyed by his success, he goes back to trying a curl-up; this does not work. He then goes back to rocking from side-to-side, which doesn't help a second time. He starts pulsing with his shoulders, and miraculously throws his right arm up. He uses this arm to start punching the cushions. He starts rotating on the hardwood floor, which allow his little feet to stick out from under the pile. He resumes rocking, which slips the cushion over his legs half-off. He plants one foot, raises his knee, then frees the inside leg. He's left with one cushion on his chest, and he maanges to get both hands on it, bending the edges back. He reverses his position with the cushion until he is on top of it. He then scrambles to standing--nearly slipping on the hardwood floor--and starts pounding his chest in defiance.)
NARRATOR: Twenty seconds is a personal best.
(CUT. The Bee and Nenji (crouched) look at some unspecified point past the camera. Nenji keeps his outstretched hand over the Bee's outstretched hand, and they pass slaps back-and-forth to each other.)
NARRATOR: They also focus on teamwork.
(CUT. In the backyard, The Bee drags the last of a length of garden hose in position, completing a large square.)
NARRATOR: Then, it's the showtime for Awesome Wrestling eXplosion, or AWX.
(CUT. The Bee stands, arms crossed, with a title belt at his feet, which nearly engulfs his legs. It appears to be a Steelside Heavyweight replica, the faceplate painted with yellow-and-black stripes.)
NARRATOR: The star of the AWX is The Bee himself, the reigning Heavyweight-Or-Better Champion. The AWX website lists his favourite match to be Hell in a Cell.
(CUT. Nenji stands in front of the house, holding up a hand-painted sign that reads "WRESTLING SHOW". He scans back-and-forth for passing cars.)
NARRATOR: Other competitors include Nenji, Master of the Ninja Arts.
(CUT. A lanky, stubble-headed gentleman in wraparound shades, a black trenchcoat and camouflage pants arrives. He wastes no time in pitching his backpack by the garage, then starts running in place.)
NARRATOR: Shadow, the Demon of Darkness.
(Shadow starts punching the air while running.
CUT. Through the backyard gate comes a slick-looking Latino in a dark suit and white tie. His black hair is tightly pulled behind him in a pony tail, giving shape to his moon face and bulging eyes. At his feet is a black pug with a white patch on his collar.)
NARRATOR: Turancula, the Latino Sensation.
(Turancula quickly whips out his phone from his pocket, and flips it open without adjusting his head or posture.)
TURANCULA: Yeah Tony?
(Short pause.)
TURANCULA: Bye-bye.
(And without missing a beat, he closes his phone and returns it to his pocket.
CUT. The four men and the dog stand in the yard, quietly standing around. Shadow checks his watch.)
NARRATOR: Once again, Sakura fails to show.
(CUT. A card table has been added to the backyard, where a middle-aged, balding East Indian man sits before a propped toy microphone.)
NARRATOR: AWX is held on Mondays because that's when Harjit from next door is free.
HARJIT: Slobbonocko.
NARRATOR: Harjit is the Voice of AWX.
HARJIT: Slobbonocko. Vwhat a slobbonocko. Vwhat a slobbonocko. Vwhat a, vwhat a slobbonocko. (Pause.) Oh my God.
(CUT. Shadow runs around the lawn with his butane lighter, lighting one imbedded sparkler after another.)
NARRATOR: AWX shows offer traditional wrestling, but in a rock show package.
(CUT. Turancula seems to be fighting Nenji, but Nenji is wearing water wings and a snorkel. Turancula pie-faces Nenji, and then uses his grip to deliver a Russian Leg Sweep.)
NARRATOR: In the first match, Turancula defeats The Sailor with the Three Second Call.
(CUT. Nenji and Turancula are back in the ring, with Nenji dressed normally, and Turuncula wearing a housedress and blonde wig over his clothes.)
NARRATOR: Storylines help advance the matches, and attract outside fans.
TURANCULA: (in a smoky man's girl voice) Please don't tell The Bee that I am cheating with you.
(Nenji points in shock to the house, and the camera pans to the kitchen door, where stands an angry-looking Bee.
CUT. Nenji again, and Shadow with him. Both are dressed normally.)
SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]Nenji, will you accept my invitation to a tag team?[/glow]
NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]Hell no![/glow]
SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]Fine then, I challenge you to a no DQ match and you will lose![/glow]
NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]Deal, but I won't lose.[/glow]
(CUT. With the match underway, Nenji is propped on his hands and knees, trying to come around. Shadow runs at him and smokes him in the back of his head with a plastic snow shovel.)
HARJIT: (off) Oh my God.
(CUT. Shadow and Turancula in a lock-up, with The Bee nipping at their legs.)
NARRATOR: Now, a Triple Threat match for the Heavyweight-or-Better Title.
(Shadow surges, knocking Turancula back, but losing his own balance, he falls on The Bee. Nenji leaps in the fray, wearing a striped referee shirt, and counts a one, two, three pinfall.)
NARRATOR: At first a controversial finish...
(Shadow pulls himself off The Bee, who, sensing what's happened, starts to snivel at first, and then erupts into crying, pounding the lawn with his fists and heels. The camera moves quickly to the other three men's faces, all of them looking quickly at each other. Shadow is the first to move, throwing himself back-first onto the lawn, and pulling The Bee on top of him. Nenji counts another three.)
NARRATOR: ... but the AWX knows how to keep the fans happy.
(The Bee stops crying, and wipes his nose, gasping for air.
CUT. The Bee rides Turancula's dog around the lawn.)
NARRATOR: And for the Main Event, The Bee rides Turancula's dog.
(CUT. A five-year-old girl sits on the lawn by her mother, who's reading a magazine.)
NARRATOR: AWX has a small, yet rabid following. Many more fans find out about AWX through the Internet.
(CUT. The Bee is still riding the dog.)
NARRATOR: Soon, The Bee hopes to be tag teaming with The Crusher... but until then, singles gold has lost no allure for him. Whether in the AWX, NAPW, REBEL or elsewhere, The Bee remains... a champion.
This has been Ian Griffin-Stewart, your narrator.
(BLACK.)
NARRATOR: In the Bee's house, Monday is a sacred day for the sport of wrestling.
(Pause. The Bee takes a deep, deep breath, then exhales. Pause. He does this again.)
NARRATOR: Training occurs in the morning. The Bee wishes to be extra-ready for when he teams up with The Crusher.
(Nenji walks into the shot, carrying an arm-load of couch cushions. He places them, one by one, on top of The Bee.)
NARRATOR: The Bee's specially-designed regimen keeps him in championship shape.
(Nenji takes two steps back, pulls a battery-powered clock off of an end table, and waits.)
NARRATOR: This exercise is designed to help the Bee "explode" out of tight situations.
NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]GO![/glow]
(The Bee starts struggling under the couch cushions. He grunts, puffs, and shimmies, with the cushion pile basically keeping the same shape. He lets out a long groan, and attempts some kind of curl-up. This fails. He begins rocking from side-to-side which at first accomplishes nothing, but then manages to knock off the top couch cushion. Buoyed by his success, he goes back to trying a curl-up; this does not work. He then goes back to rocking from side-to-side, which doesn't help a second time. He starts pulsing with his shoulders, and miraculously throws his right arm up. He uses this arm to start punching the cushions. He starts rotating on the hardwood floor, which allow his little feet to stick out from under the pile. He resumes rocking, which slips the cushion over his legs half-off. He plants one foot, raises his knee, then frees the inside leg. He's left with one cushion on his chest, and he maanges to get both hands on it, bending the edges back. He reverses his position with the cushion until he is on top of it. He then scrambles to standing--nearly slipping on the hardwood floor--and starts pounding his chest in defiance.)
NARRATOR: Twenty seconds is a personal best.
(CUT. The Bee and Nenji (crouched) look at some unspecified point past the camera. Nenji keeps his outstretched hand over the Bee's outstretched hand, and they pass slaps back-and-forth to each other.)
NARRATOR: They also focus on teamwork.
(CUT. In the backyard, The Bee drags the last of a length of garden hose in position, completing a large square.)
NARRATOR: Then, it's the showtime for Awesome Wrestling eXplosion, or AWX.
(CUT. The Bee stands, arms crossed, with a title belt at his feet, which nearly engulfs his legs. It appears to be a Steelside Heavyweight replica, the faceplate painted with yellow-and-black stripes.)
NARRATOR: The star of the AWX is The Bee himself, the reigning Heavyweight-Or-Better Champion. The AWX website lists his favourite match to be Hell in a Cell.
(CUT. Nenji stands in front of the house, holding up a hand-painted sign that reads "WRESTLING SHOW". He scans back-and-forth for passing cars.)
NARRATOR: Other competitors include Nenji, Master of the Ninja Arts.
(CUT. A lanky, stubble-headed gentleman in wraparound shades, a black trenchcoat and camouflage pants arrives. He wastes no time in pitching his backpack by the garage, then starts running in place.)
NARRATOR: Shadow, the Demon of Darkness.
(Shadow starts punching the air while running.
CUT. Through the backyard gate comes a slick-looking Latino in a dark suit and white tie. His black hair is tightly pulled behind him in a pony tail, giving shape to his moon face and bulging eyes. At his feet is a black pug with a white patch on his collar.)
NARRATOR: Turancula, the Latino Sensation.
(Turancula quickly whips out his phone from his pocket, and flips it open without adjusting his head or posture.)
TURANCULA: Yeah Tony?
(Short pause.)
TURANCULA: Bye-bye.
(And without missing a beat, he closes his phone and returns it to his pocket.
CUT. The four men and the dog stand in the yard, quietly standing around. Shadow checks his watch.)
NARRATOR: Once again, Sakura fails to show.
(CUT. A card table has been added to the backyard, where a middle-aged, balding East Indian man sits before a propped toy microphone.)
NARRATOR: AWX is held on Mondays because that's when Harjit from next door is free.
HARJIT: Slobbonocko.
NARRATOR: Harjit is the Voice of AWX.
HARJIT: Slobbonocko. Vwhat a slobbonocko. Vwhat a slobbonocko. Vwhat a, vwhat a slobbonocko. (Pause.) Oh my God.
(CUT. Shadow runs around the lawn with his butane lighter, lighting one imbedded sparkler after another.)
NARRATOR: AWX shows offer traditional wrestling, but in a rock show package.
(CUT. Turancula seems to be fighting Nenji, but Nenji is wearing water wings and a snorkel. Turancula pie-faces Nenji, and then uses his grip to deliver a Russian Leg Sweep.)
NARRATOR: In the first match, Turancula defeats The Sailor with the Three Second Call.
(CUT. Nenji and Turancula are back in the ring, with Nenji dressed normally, and Turuncula wearing a housedress and blonde wig over his clothes.)
NARRATOR: Storylines help advance the matches, and attract outside fans.
TURANCULA: (in a smoky man's girl voice) Please don't tell The Bee that I am cheating with you.
(Nenji points in shock to the house, and the camera pans to the kitchen door, where stands an angry-looking Bee.
CUT. Nenji again, and Shadow with him. Both are dressed normally.)
SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]Nenji, will you accept my invitation to a tag team?[/glow]
NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]Hell no![/glow]
SHADOW: [glow=red,2,300]Fine then, I challenge you to a no DQ match and you will lose![/glow]
NENJI: [glow=blue,2,300]Deal, but I won't lose.[/glow]
(CUT. With the match underway, Nenji is propped on his hands and knees, trying to come around. Shadow runs at him and smokes him in the back of his head with a plastic snow shovel.)
HARJIT: (off) Oh my God.
(CUT. Shadow and Turancula in a lock-up, with The Bee nipping at their legs.)
NARRATOR: Now, a Triple Threat match for the Heavyweight-or-Better Title.
(Shadow surges, knocking Turancula back, but losing his own balance, he falls on The Bee. Nenji leaps in the fray, wearing a striped referee shirt, and counts a one, two, three pinfall.)
NARRATOR: At first a controversial finish...
(Shadow pulls himself off The Bee, who, sensing what's happened, starts to snivel at first, and then erupts into crying, pounding the lawn with his fists and heels. The camera moves quickly to the other three men's faces, all of them looking quickly at each other. Shadow is the first to move, throwing himself back-first onto the lawn, and pulling The Bee on top of him. Nenji counts another three.)
NARRATOR: ... but the AWX knows how to keep the fans happy.
(The Bee stops crying, and wipes his nose, gasping for air.
CUT. The Bee rides Turancula's dog around the lawn.)
NARRATOR: And for the Main Event, The Bee rides Turancula's dog.
(CUT. A five-year-old girl sits on the lawn by her mother, who's reading a magazine.)
NARRATOR: AWX has a small, yet rabid following. Many more fans find out about AWX through the Internet.
(CUT. The Bee is still riding the dog.)
NARRATOR: Soon, The Bee hopes to be tag teaming with The Crusher... but until then, singles gold has lost no allure for him. Whether in the AWX, NAPW, REBEL or elsewhere, The Bee remains... a champion.
This has been Ian Griffin-Stewart, your narrator.
(BLACK.)