Post by Jay O'Brien on Feb 8, 2007 13:58:13 GMT -5
[Start.]
[You know where we are, and you know what this is – it’s post-Cold Snap, baby, and Jay O’Brien, the undefeated superstar, victorious just a few short hours ago over Johnny Rotten, is in the back. He’s looking for someone, anyone.]
JOB: Hey. Hey! Hey, you!
[Jay stops a stage hand as he walks by.]
STAGEHAND: Hey there...
JOB: You know who I am?
STAGEHAND: Err, you’re Jay O’Brien...
[Jay nods, satisfied.]
JOB: That’s right, kid, I’m Jay O’Brien. The ONLY undefeated superstar in New Alberta Pro Wrestling. The GREATEST wrest—
STAGEHAND: Umm... Look, I’m real sorry, Jay, I’m kinda busy at the moment, and ---
JOB: HUH?! Did you just interrupt me?!
STAGEHAND: I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, but I’ve got to get this tape to production! I’m running late as it is!
[Jay looks appalled. Then he sighs, mellowing.]
JOB: Whatever. Run along.
STAGEHAND: Thanks... Hey, great performance tonight, man!
JOB: Yeah…
[The stage hand rushes off, as Jay looks around. There’s nobody about.]
JOB: God damn it.
[Jay continues down the corridor, until he sees a hot dog stand. The owner’s packing up.]
JOB: Hey.
HOTDOGGUY: Yeah? You want a chilli dog?
JOB: Err, no. I don’t eat fast food.
HOTDOGGUY: (shrugs) Then what d’ya want?
JOB: You catch the show tonight?
HOTDOGGUY: (laughing) The show? Kid, I run a hot dog stand. I don’t even like wrestling. And even if I did, I wouldn’t sell many dogs if I was out there sat on my ass watching the show, would I?
JOB: (frowning) I guess not...
HOTDOGGUY: But... I’m sure you did swell, kid.
JOB: Yeah, I did, I beat this guy, Johnny—
[Jay sees the look on the guy’s face.]
JOB: You don’t care, do you?
HOTDOGGUY: Guy, I just care about picking this shit up and getting the hell outta here. No offence.
JOB: (sighs) …None taken.
[Jay continues on. Does NOBODY care about Jay’s achievement here tonight?!]
* “Walk” by Pantera *
[Well that would be Jay’s phone, then. SOMEBODY CARES! SOMEBODY CARES!! Jay flips it open excitedly. Hell, even the meanest guys need to brag at some point, right?]
JOB: Jay here!
JOB: Oh... It’s you. What the (BLEEP) do you want, Andy?
JOB: No. No, god damn it, where the hell do you get off? I told I want you out of my apartment, and I meant it. I still mean it. You’re gone, Andy.
JOB: I don’t... LISTEN TO ME. Pack your shit, and get gone. If you’re still there when I get back, there’ll be hell to pay. BEAT IT.
[Jay hangs up.]
[Jay’s pissed off now.]
JOB: (BLEEP)ing idiot, man...
[Jay continues. It’s a long walk through the back. Jay’s ignoring people now. A couple of stagehands go by, Jay doesn’t care anymore. He wants Andy out of his apartment, and NOW.]
[But there are always distractions backstage at a big wrestling show...]
“Hey!! Hey, Jay!”
[It’s Josh Reynolds, and he’s spotted Jay. He’s walking away from a couple of paramedics, trying to call him back. His jaw looks awful swollen, for some reason.]
REYNOLDS: Jay! Jay, right here! AWESOME performance tonight! Can I get a word?!
JOB: Well, Josh………
[…….. SUPERKICK!!]
[Josh goes down like a ton of bricks. Jay stands over him, then empties his nostrils all over his pristine suit.]
JOB: No, you (BLEEP)ing can’t.
[Out.]
[You know where we are, and you know what this is – it’s post-Cold Snap, baby, and Jay O’Brien, the undefeated superstar, victorious just a few short hours ago over Johnny Rotten, is in the back. He’s looking for someone, anyone.]
JOB: Hey. Hey! Hey, you!
[Jay stops a stage hand as he walks by.]
STAGEHAND: Hey there...
JOB: You know who I am?
STAGEHAND: Err, you’re Jay O’Brien...
[Jay nods, satisfied.]
JOB: That’s right, kid, I’m Jay O’Brien. The ONLY undefeated superstar in New Alberta Pro Wrestling. The GREATEST wrest—
STAGEHAND: Umm... Look, I’m real sorry, Jay, I’m kinda busy at the moment, and ---
JOB: HUH?! Did you just interrupt me?!
STAGEHAND: I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, but I’ve got to get this tape to production! I’m running late as it is!
[Jay looks appalled. Then he sighs, mellowing.]
JOB: Whatever. Run along.
STAGEHAND: Thanks... Hey, great performance tonight, man!
JOB: Yeah…
[The stage hand rushes off, as Jay looks around. There’s nobody about.]
JOB: God damn it.
[Jay continues down the corridor, until he sees a hot dog stand. The owner’s packing up.]
JOB: Hey.
HOTDOGGUY: Yeah? You want a chilli dog?
JOB: Err, no. I don’t eat fast food.
HOTDOGGUY: (shrugs) Then what d’ya want?
JOB: You catch the show tonight?
HOTDOGGUY: (laughing) The show? Kid, I run a hot dog stand. I don’t even like wrestling. And even if I did, I wouldn’t sell many dogs if I was out there sat on my ass watching the show, would I?
JOB: (frowning) I guess not...
HOTDOGGUY: But... I’m sure you did swell, kid.
JOB: Yeah, I did, I beat this guy, Johnny—
[Jay sees the look on the guy’s face.]
JOB: You don’t care, do you?
HOTDOGGUY: Guy, I just care about picking this shit up and getting the hell outta here. No offence.
JOB: (sighs) …None taken.
[Jay continues on. Does NOBODY care about Jay’s achievement here tonight?!]
* “Walk” by Pantera *
[Well that would be Jay’s phone, then. SOMEBODY CARES! SOMEBODY CARES!! Jay flips it open excitedly. Hell, even the meanest guys need to brag at some point, right?]
JOB: Jay here!
JOB: Oh... It’s you. What the (BLEEP) do you want, Andy?
JOB: No. No, god damn it, where the hell do you get off? I told I want you out of my apartment, and I meant it. I still mean it. You’re gone, Andy.
JOB: I don’t... LISTEN TO ME. Pack your shit, and get gone. If you’re still there when I get back, there’ll be hell to pay. BEAT IT.
[Jay hangs up.]
[Jay’s pissed off now.]
JOB: (BLEEP)ing idiot, man...
[Jay continues. It’s a long walk through the back. Jay’s ignoring people now. A couple of stagehands go by, Jay doesn’t care anymore. He wants Andy out of his apartment, and NOW.]
[But there are always distractions backstage at a big wrestling show...]
“Hey!! Hey, Jay!”
[It’s Josh Reynolds, and he’s spotted Jay. He’s walking away from a couple of paramedics, trying to call him back. His jaw looks awful swollen, for some reason.]
REYNOLDS: Jay! Jay, right here! AWESOME performance tonight! Can I get a word?!
JOB: Well, Josh………
[…….. SUPERKICK!!]
[Josh goes down like a ton of bricks. Jay stands over him, then empties his nostrils all over his pristine suit.]
JOB: No, you (BLEEP)ing can’t.
[Out.]