Post by Bruce "The Beast" Richards on Feb 5, 2007 23:58:31 GMT -5
(Fade up, late afternoon. Bruce "The Beast" Richards is looking out over the railing of the ferry The Spirit of Vancouver Island, watching the waves. He's heading back to Vancouver after a visit with Kyle to Victoria to see the Wax Museum. It's southern BC, so it's not weather for gloves and toques, but it's still chilly, so Bruce is in sweater underneath his raincoat. The Beast holds his cane in his left hand and leans on the railing with his right. He looks distracted. Is he thinking about strategies for the upcoming title defense? Is he thinking about what might happen if the Midnight Cowboys actually pull off a victory? Is he thinking about how creepily lifelike the wax statue of James Dean was? I suppose we'll never know, although I wouldn't put money down on that last one. Kyle Roberts comes up in a windbreaker and a hooded sweatshirt.)
KYLE ROBERTS: You got the cane, huh? How's the knee?
BRUCE RICHARDS: Acting up. It's the moisture around here; I'm getting stiff.
KYLE ROBERTS: Dude. Don't talk about that stuff to me. You know the idea of you and Tiffany gets me all...(shudders)...Now, AMY and Tiffany, on the other hand...
BRUCE RICHARDS: I meant my KNEE was getting stiff.
KYLE ROBERTS: Oh, right. I knew that.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Did you enjoy the museum today?
KYLE ROBERTS: (Shudders.) That place gave me the creeps. Misshapen freaks, with their sharp instruments and their beady little eyes...
BRUCE RICHARDS: Yeah, the Chamber of Horrors was kind of graphic.
KYLE ROBERTS: No, I meant the wax sculptures of the Seven Dwarves! I don't want to see cartoons in 3-D wax form. It's...unnatural.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Ah.
KYLE ROBERTS: Besides, compared to what we're going to put those Midnight Cowboys through on Wednesday night? The Chamber of Horrors is going to look like The Fluffy Animal Friends of Ms. Beatrix Potter.
BRUCE RICHARDS: I have to give it to those Zellors; they really want our belts.
KYLE ROBERTS: No shit, Bruce. EVERYONE wants our belts. And it's not only because they're the most prestigious belts in the NAPW.
BRUCE RICHARDS: I thought that the Heavyweight Title and the Tag Titles were about par.
KYLE ROBERTS: Yeah, but Bob Ravager's never won the Tag Titles before.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Ah, yes; our belts are untainted.
KYLE ROBERTS: But it's more than just wanting the belts. It's wanting to try and take down The New & Improved D-X. The number one tag team...
BRUCE RICHARDS: ...in the entire world! (Shrugs.) Who knows? Maybe they can do it. They're not exactly terrible. They made it all the way here, to meet us in the ring for our title belts.
KYLE ROBERTS: They've made it to face us before, and failed miserably!
BRUCE RICHARDS: (Sarcastically.) Oh, but Kyle. We unfairly screwed them out of that title shot. Woe to the pure and virginal Midnight Cowboys, The Beast and Stylin' Kyle won because Kyle did a bad bad thing and hit them with a foreign object before they could do it first!
KYLE ROBERTS: Oh yes, and besides, they've been SUCH good sports before. Because, you know, the whole running in and interfering in our other matches were COMPLETELY different. Because...I honestly don't know why, but it was.
BRUCE RICHARDS: (BLEEP) hypocrites.
KYLE ROBERTS: You know, Clint, I can understand some of the points you made earlier today. Bruce and I know what it's like to be the underdogs, struggling in a low-rent federation where the fans could care less if you won or lost. We didn't get to where we are today because of the fans; at least, not entirely. We got to where we are because we knew we were the best, and we weren't afraid to say it. We won match after match, title after title, and we just kept telling everyone how un-be-(BLEEP)ing-lievably awesome we were. And sure, we were hated for it. But then the fans slowly realized that we weren't as good as we said we were. We were BETTER.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Clint Zellor and his brother don't give a damn about the fans, they just want to wrestle because that's what they love doing. Well, they'd better REALLY love it, because when they lose on Wednesday, they're not going to have the belts to keep them happy.
KYLE ROBERTS: You think we're going to let go of our precious belts for you, Cowboys? Don't make me laugh! Just because Joey Malone thinks you two are the future of the tag team division doesn't make it true; he used to think that cheddar cheese was a classy food because it didn't come out of a SPRAY CAN! I love my belt more than anything in the world, and the only way you're going to take it away from me is by prying it out of my cold, dead hands!
BRUCE RICHARDS: More than anything in the world?
KYLE ROBERTS: Yes!
BRUCE RICHARDS: More than, oh, I don't know, your live-in girlfriend?
KYLE ROBERTS: Who? OH! Amy! Well, uh, I don't know. I mean, I love Amy, sure, but...my belt...
BRUCE RICHARDS: Okay, Kyle, don't go all Bickle on me. Just stop talking before you say something that gets you sleeping on the couch again, okay?
KYLE ROBERTS: (Staring out over the waves.) Hey, Bruce. Remember the last time we were on a boat this big?
BRUCE RICHARDS: (Chuckles.) The Titanic II? Yeah, that was fun. Tearing up the place with Rex, watching D! fall off the back of the boat...we had some good times.
KYLE ROBERTS: That's the way it is when you're with The New & Improved D-X. The good times keep on rolling. And they aren't going to stop for two sub-primates from Staten Island and their syphilitic dad.
BRUCE RICHARDS: And they aren't going to stop for a megalomanaical mama's boy who's too good for his "slave name".
KYLE ROBERTS: They aren't going to stop. PERIOD.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Amen, brother.
KYLE ROBERTS: You know, we could still have crazy adventures running around on this boat, you know.
BRUCE RICHARDS: What are you talking about? There's no bar, and there's no cute girls in bikinis with inexplicable crushes on D!.
KYLE ROBERTS: (Holds up Bruce's cane.) Got your cane!
(Kyle Roberts dashes off and Bruce Richards limps after him.)
BRUCE RICHARDS: Kyle, you get back here you sonofabitch or I'm going to make you EAT that cane!
(Fade out.)
KYLE ROBERTS: You got the cane, huh? How's the knee?
BRUCE RICHARDS: Acting up. It's the moisture around here; I'm getting stiff.
KYLE ROBERTS: Dude. Don't talk about that stuff to me. You know the idea of you and Tiffany gets me all...(shudders)...Now, AMY and Tiffany, on the other hand...
BRUCE RICHARDS: I meant my KNEE was getting stiff.
KYLE ROBERTS: Oh, right. I knew that.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Did you enjoy the museum today?
KYLE ROBERTS: (Shudders.) That place gave me the creeps. Misshapen freaks, with their sharp instruments and their beady little eyes...
BRUCE RICHARDS: Yeah, the Chamber of Horrors was kind of graphic.
KYLE ROBERTS: No, I meant the wax sculptures of the Seven Dwarves! I don't want to see cartoons in 3-D wax form. It's...unnatural.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Ah.
KYLE ROBERTS: Besides, compared to what we're going to put those Midnight Cowboys through on Wednesday night? The Chamber of Horrors is going to look like The Fluffy Animal Friends of Ms. Beatrix Potter.
BRUCE RICHARDS: I have to give it to those Zellors; they really want our belts.
KYLE ROBERTS: No shit, Bruce. EVERYONE wants our belts. And it's not only because they're the most prestigious belts in the NAPW.
BRUCE RICHARDS: I thought that the Heavyweight Title and the Tag Titles were about par.
KYLE ROBERTS: Yeah, but Bob Ravager's never won the Tag Titles before.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Ah, yes; our belts are untainted.
KYLE ROBERTS: But it's more than just wanting the belts. It's wanting to try and take down The New & Improved D-X. The number one tag team...
BRUCE RICHARDS: ...in the entire world! (Shrugs.) Who knows? Maybe they can do it. They're not exactly terrible. They made it all the way here, to meet us in the ring for our title belts.
KYLE ROBERTS: They've made it to face us before, and failed miserably!
BRUCE RICHARDS: (Sarcastically.) Oh, but Kyle. We unfairly screwed them out of that title shot. Woe to the pure and virginal Midnight Cowboys, The Beast and Stylin' Kyle won because Kyle did a bad bad thing and hit them with a foreign object before they could do it first!
KYLE ROBERTS: Oh yes, and besides, they've been SUCH good sports before. Because, you know, the whole running in and interfering in our other matches were COMPLETELY different. Because...I honestly don't know why, but it was.
BRUCE RICHARDS: (BLEEP) hypocrites.
KYLE ROBERTS: You know, Clint, I can understand some of the points you made earlier today. Bruce and I know what it's like to be the underdogs, struggling in a low-rent federation where the fans could care less if you won or lost. We didn't get to where we are today because of the fans; at least, not entirely. We got to where we are because we knew we were the best, and we weren't afraid to say it. We won match after match, title after title, and we just kept telling everyone how un-be-(BLEEP)ing-lievably awesome we were. And sure, we were hated for it. But then the fans slowly realized that we weren't as good as we said we were. We were BETTER.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Clint Zellor and his brother don't give a damn about the fans, they just want to wrestle because that's what they love doing. Well, they'd better REALLY love it, because when they lose on Wednesday, they're not going to have the belts to keep them happy.
KYLE ROBERTS: You think we're going to let go of our precious belts for you, Cowboys? Don't make me laugh! Just because Joey Malone thinks you two are the future of the tag team division doesn't make it true; he used to think that cheddar cheese was a classy food because it didn't come out of a SPRAY CAN! I love my belt more than anything in the world, and the only way you're going to take it away from me is by prying it out of my cold, dead hands!
BRUCE RICHARDS: More than anything in the world?
KYLE ROBERTS: Yes!
BRUCE RICHARDS: More than, oh, I don't know, your live-in girlfriend?
KYLE ROBERTS: Who? OH! Amy! Well, uh, I don't know. I mean, I love Amy, sure, but...my belt...
BRUCE RICHARDS: Okay, Kyle, don't go all Bickle on me. Just stop talking before you say something that gets you sleeping on the couch again, okay?
KYLE ROBERTS: (Staring out over the waves.) Hey, Bruce. Remember the last time we were on a boat this big?
BRUCE RICHARDS: (Chuckles.) The Titanic II? Yeah, that was fun. Tearing up the place with Rex, watching D! fall off the back of the boat...we had some good times.
KYLE ROBERTS: That's the way it is when you're with The New & Improved D-X. The good times keep on rolling. And they aren't going to stop for two sub-primates from Staten Island and their syphilitic dad.
BRUCE RICHARDS: And they aren't going to stop for a megalomanaical mama's boy who's too good for his "slave name".
KYLE ROBERTS: They aren't going to stop. PERIOD.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Amen, brother.
KYLE ROBERTS: You know, we could still have crazy adventures running around on this boat, you know.
BRUCE RICHARDS: What are you talking about? There's no bar, and there's no cute girls in bikinis with inexplicable crushes on D!.
KYLE ROBERTS: (Holds up Bruce's cane.) Got your cane!
(Kyle Roberts dashes off and Bruce Richards limps after him.)
BRUCE RICHARDS: Kyle, you get back here you sonofabitch or I'm going to make you EAT that cane!
(Fade out.)