Post by "The Devastator" Kurt Castle on Feb 4, 2007 8:44:57 GMT -5
(We open with a basic seen. Plain white room with an NAPW backdrop. You can see a couple light stands set up on either side of the banner. Standing front and center as usual in the picture is our illustrious Provincial Champion. “The Devastator” is dressed in his wrestling gear and has the leather trench coat on as usual. Castle is wearing a black “Untouchables” t-shirt. The Provincial Title belt is firm around his waste and glimmers as the light bounce off of it. Castle is also wearing a pair of dark sunglasses. His missing arrogance was short lived. Today he has his nose held high and an evil smirk on his face that can make someone want to slap him.)
(A couple days of sole searching may have done him some good. Kurt has isolated himself from the Untouchables over the past few days. Actually, he hasn’t spoken to any of them since he left Kamloops on Tuesday Night. No friction there, they understand the importance of this situation for Castle. When you have great minds like theirs on the same page no words need to be spoken. You just know. Castle impatiently waits for the camera to start rolling. Finally he’s had enough and he starts smacking the side of the camera. The scene blurs as the camera shakes.)
KC: C’mon! This damn thing on or what?
(Castle reassumes his position and folds him arms waiting to shoot. Finally the camera zooms in on him and he speaks.)
KC: Apparently I’ve ruffled someone’s feathers. Once again I’ve gotten under a man’s skin in one damn promo. I mean c’mon, one promo? We’re just starting here Brian. You’re supposed to save the angered tirades for the final shoot. It makes for a better build that way. What do you expect though? Rookie!
(Castle takes his right hand and runs his fingers through his goatee for a moment. He’s obviously amused by the scare tactics that one Brian Bruno has pulled out of the bag.)
KC: That’s what I don’t get about this place. Am I the only professional here? Am I the only man in this place that can cut a promo without going off the deep end? I mean everyone around here is either jumping into rivers, or stalking one another. I even heard one extreme case, where one very boring Newfie went on for days about all the things he did in the past, and how dominant he USED to be. Everyone hoped he’d suffocate himself and end the family embarrassment, but he survived and became a vagabond with a very old stinky man. (sarcastically) Now there’s a real soldier.
(Castle shakes his rapidly as to shake his wondering thoughts, and return to the new generation “Fruit of the Loom” model.)
KC: But now I’m just getting off track. Sorry where was I? Oh yeah, 4B and his temper tantrum.
KC: You know Brian, I don’t think a man in your physical condition should be getting worked up like that. A guy like you can’t have a healthy ticker.
(Castle fist pumps his heart a couple times. He may need to get a little more proficient with that over the next few days. It’s a good assumption that Bruno’s life may depend on Castle’s CPR skills at Cold Snap. What’s it really matter though? Castle would leave him for dead anyway and walk out laughing about it.)
KC: I was honestly worried about you there for a second. I thought I saw a vein popping out of your head, but I really couldn’t tell due to your head attire. You did know you had panty-hose on your head right? I couldn’t be totally sure from a man of your background. Everyone knows that half the population in Chicago can’t read. And the ones that can apparently can’t tell when they’re wearing their mom’s dirty laundry on their head. Once again though, I guess you wouldn’t notice if you never actually used your head for anything.
KC: You know, I finally got past the whole attire thing he had going. Then I actually started listening to some of the half-crocked stories he’d came up with. I think I man that delusional should have to pass a random drug screening before he’s allowed to wrestle in a match for my Provincial Championship.
(Castle reaches up and lowers his sunglasses down off of his eyes some. But instead of seeing his eyes, he manages to stick his nose in the air a little further to compensate for it.)
KC: All though, I guess you did have a few somewhat relevant things to discuss amidst that verbal torture you sell to your folks as a wrestling promo. You of course brought up the respect card. Funny you should do that considering you’ve done very little to nothing to be respected yourself. Can you honestly say to yourself that you actually DESERVE this match his me? Tell me what you’ve done other than taking out the Moose and the Cow at the same time. And don’t give me that three-second shit with Krenshov. You know you had that handed to you on a silver platter by Deathrow, and that’ll never. Happen. Again.
KC: You want to talk about respect though, that’s fine with me. I’ll tell you what earns you respect. You get out from behind that camera every once and a while and actually put in a little work towards what you say you desire so much. I’ve EARNED my respect by being the only man that will wrestle week in and week out against the TNF roster. Think I’m joking? Check it out for yourself. While all these other underachievers, including you, sat back and took weeks at a time off, I was making a name for myself one match at a time. Since the start of the year, I am the ONLY man to wrestle at every TNF. And I’ve put together a quite impressive win loss record in that time as well.
(Castle grimaces, as he feels that his recipient may not comprehend what he trying to say. He seems annoyed that he’ll need to elaborate more.)
KC: That means I’m the only man that is so well trained, and so well prepared that I don’t need a night off. I ain’t one of those little bitches. Everyone wants to be a pro wrestler, but nobody wants to put the work into it. That’s called mediocrity….at best. And I not only hate average people, I loathe them. I despise them for what they will never become. And Brian, if you aren’t good for any more than 5 minutes of wresting in a span of two or three weeks, then how in the world to you expect to become a champion? And more importantly, if by an act of god you do become a champion, how the hell will you be able STAY a champion? Sure, you and everyone else have an opinion on how much better a champion you would be than the next guy. Let me tell your punk ass something. It’s a lot easier to say that when you’re not the man on top. But isn’t that really what mediocrity is all about? What you can’t do, you criticize.
(A disgusted look comes over the face of Castle. He can’t comprehend how these people can honestly take shots at him when they themselves have never achieved anything of worth.)
KC: So from there Bruno, you wanted to run the most overplayed line in all of NAPW over the course of the last six weeks. You decided that you’re going to give me a little lesson on the Untouchables. You’re gonna give me a lesson on what my place is. Pawn? Gimme a (BLEEP)ing break punk. You, just like everyone else knows that as long as the Untouchables are around, there will be fewer and fewer opportunities for people like you. So you mother (BLEEP)ers say and do anything in your power to try to break us apart. Because that’s how good we really are.
(Castle kind of perks his eyebrows up as he remembers another comment from Bruno’s rant.)
KC: Oh yeah, this was the best one of them all. I ate this shit up.
(Rye smile, half grimace. Vintage Castle)
KC: You really sat there in front of that camera and tried to tell me about Chris Casino. You tried to tell ME what he was all about. Who the (BLEEP) are you? You don’t know Chris, and you sure as hell don’t know me. Because if you did, there’s no way you would have tried to test my patients with you for a SECOND time. And I’m a very inpatient person. But what really amused me the most, was when you went on your little spiel about Chris selling his mother down the river to get what he wants. You even sounded like I would be surprised to hear that…..You’re DAMN right he’d sell his mother down the river. That’s why we get along so well. Hell, I sold my mom down the river for a little bit of beer money. I managed to get a six pack out of her.
(Castle thinks back to his childhood, and the not so loving relationship he had with his mother.)
KC: Serves that (BLEEP) right too. That bitch ain’t done a damn thing for me since she squeezed me out from in between her thighs. Oh well, just one less phone call to make on the holidays. What do you call that around your parts Brian? Thug Life?
KC: Then after that I almost fell asleep while you gave yourself a pity party and played the lifelong underdog card. Yeah Brian, I believe that everybody in your life told you you’d never amount to anything. I believe that they told you’d never be great at anything. Did you ever stop and think that maybe it wasn’t the masses of people throughout your life that were wrong about you. Maybe you were just too blind to see your own shortcomings. (sarcastically) It’s ok though, it happens to the best of us…..Wait, no it doesn’t. It must just be you.
(Castle seems rather bored, so he decides to take the Provincial Belt off of his waste and slings it over his shoulder. He begins to think back at all the people that have held this belt. From Static, to Minstrel, to Cartwright, to Reese. It’s at that very moment that Castle realizes that other than his fellow stablemates, he is the only true talent to ever hold this belt. The arrogant aura of his continues to grow. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to concentrate on Bruno.)
KC: Anyways, so then you pump me with a feel good underdog story about your “great days” as a football player. Who knows, cry a little more about it and they might make a Sunday night special out of it. So what if you pancaked a couple guys on the field. What level were you playing at? JV high school? Pee-Wee league? Or even worse, it could have been the Canadian Football League. That would make sense to me though.
KC: The fact of the matter is Brian, you were a shitty football player, and you’re an even shittier wrestler. You had nothing your whole life and you never will. You are right about one thing though…..You earned every bit of it. There’s something to be real proud of.
KC: I guess Brian, the only thing you showed me is that your mouth is able to write checks that your ass can’t cash. But insufficient funds or not, Wednesday night, “The Devastator” is coming to collect. Make no mistake about it CUZ!….. Cuz why?
(Castle stops briefly and for the first time pulls his sunglasses off of face and clips them to his coat. As the camera zooms in on, it’s apparent that the look in his eyes that Brian Bruno had mistaken for fear was more like hatred and unadulterated anger. An average person would be nauseated that someone this crude can be so good at what he does. Then again, we all know Kurt Castle is anything but average.)
KC: CUZ THAT’S THE DAMN TRUTH! Embrace it, or be DESTROYED by it!
(In typical Castle fashion, he puts his meaty paw right on the lens of the camera and shoves the cameraman with veritable ease. This time, the cameraman falls down, and you can hear noises of lights breaking and metal clanging against metal. The scene turns to fuzz.)
(A couple days of sole searching may have done him some good. Kurt has isolated himself from the Untouchables over the past few days. Actually, he hasn’t spoken to any of them since he left Kamloops on Tuesday Night. No friction there, they understand the importance of this situation for Castle. When you have great minds like theirs on the same page no words need to be spoken. You just know. Castle impatiently waits for the camera to start rolling. Finally he’s had enough and he starts smacking the side of the camera. The scene blurs as the camera shakes.)
KC: C’mon! This damn thing on or what?
(Castle reassumes his position and folds him arms waiting to shoot. Finally the camera zooms in on him and he speaks.)
KC: Apparently I’ve ruffled someone’s feathers. Once again I’ve gotten under a man’s skin in one damn promo. I mean c’mon, one promo? We’re just starting here Brian. You’re supposed to save the angered tirades for the final shoot. It makes for a better build that way. What do you expect though? Rookie!
(Castle takes his right hand and runs his fingers through his goatee for a moment. He’s obviously amused by the scare tactics that one Brian Bruno has pulled out of the bag.)
KC: That’s what I don’t get about this place. Am I the only professional here? Am I the only man in this place that can cut a promo without going off the deep end? I mean everyone around here is either jumping into rivers, or stalking one another. I even heard one extreme case, where one very boring Newfie went on for days about all the things he did in the past, and how dominant he USED to be. Everyone hoped he’d suffocate himself and end the family embarrassment, but he survived and became a vagabond with a very old stinky man. (sarcastically) Now there’s a real soldier.
(Castle shakes his rapidly as to shake his wondering thoughts, and return to the new generation “Fruit of the Loom” model.)
KC: But now I’m just getting off track. Sorry where was I? Oh yeah, 4B and his temper tantrum.
KC: You know Brian, I don’t think a man in your physical condition should be getting worked up like that. A guy like you can’t have a healthy ticker.
(Castle fist pumps his heart a couple times. He may need to get a little more proficient with that over the next few days. It’s a good assumption that Bruno’s life may depend on Castle’s CPR skills at Cold Snap. What’s it really matter though? Castle would leave him for dead anyway and walk out laughing about it.)
KC: I was honestly worried about you there for a second. I thought I saw a vein popping out of your head, but I really couldn’t tell due to your head attire. You did know you had panty-hose on your head right? I couldn’t be totally sure from a man of your background. Everyone knows that half the population in Chicago can’t read. And the ones that can apparently can’t tell when they’re wearing their mom’s dirty laundry on their head. Once again though, I guess you wouldn’t notice if you never actually used your head for anything.
KC: You know, I finally got past the whole attire thing he had going. Then I actually started listening to some of the half-crocked stories he’d came up with. I think I man that delusional should have to pass a random drug screening before he’s allowed to wrestle in a match for my Provincial Championship.
(Castle reaches up and lowers his sunglasses down off of his eyes some. But instead of seeing his eyes, he manages to stick his nose in the air a little further to compensate for it.)
KC: All though, I guess you did have a few somewhat relevant things to discuss amidst that verbal torture you sell to your folks as a wrestling promo. You of course brought up the respect card. Funny you should do that considering you’ve done very little to nothing to be respected yourself. Can you honestly say to yourself that you actually DESERVE this match his me? Tell me what you’ve done other than taking out the Moose and the Cow at the same time. And don’t give me that three-second shit with Krenshov. You know you had that handed to you on a silver platter by Deathrow, and that’ll never. Happen. Again.
KC: You want to talk about respect though, that’s fine with me. I’ll tell you what earns you respect. You get out from behind that camera every once and a while and actually put in a little work towards what you say you desire so much. I’ve EARNED my respect by being the only man that will wrestle week in and week out against the TNF roster. Think I’m joking? Check it out for yourself. While all these other underachievers, including you, sat back and took weeks at a time off, I was making a name for myself one match at a time. Since the start of the year, I am the ONLY man to wrestle at every TNF. And I’ve put together a quite impressive win loss record in that time as well.
(Castle grimaces, as he feels that his recipient may not comprehend what he trying to say. He seems annoyed that he’ll need to elaborate more.)
KC: That means I’m the only man that is so well trained, and so well prepared that I don’t need a night off. I ain’t one of those little bitches. Everyone wants to be a pro wrestler, but nobody wants to put the work into it. That’s called mediocrity….at best. And I not only hate average people, I loathe them. I despise them for what they will never become. And Brian, if you aren’t good for any more than 5 minutes of wresting in a span of two or three weeks, then how in the world to you expect to become a champion? And more importantly, if by an act of god you do become a champion, how the hell will you be able STAY a champion? Sure, you and everyone else have an opinion on how much better a champion you would be than the next guy. Let me tell your punk ass something. It’s a lot easier to say that when you’re not the man on top. But isn’t that really what mediocrity is all about? What you can’t do, you criticize.
(A disgusted look comes over the face of Castle. He can’t comprehend how these people can honestly take shots at him when they themselves have never achieved anything of worth.)
KC: So from there Bruno, you wanted to run the most overplayed line in all of NAPW over the course of the last six weeks. You decided that you’re going to give me a little lesson on the Untouchables. You’re gonna give me a lesson on what my place is. Pawn? Gimme a (BLEEP)ing break punk. You, just like everyone else knows that as long as the Untouchables are around, there will be fewer and fewer opportunities for people like you. So you mother (BLEEP)ers say and do anything in your power to try to break us apart. Because that’s how good we really are.
(Castle kind of perks his eyebrows up as he remembers another comment from Bruno’s rant.)
KC: Oh yeah, this was the best one of them all. I ate this shit up.
(Rye smile, half grimace. Vintage Castle)
KC: You really sat there in front of that camera and tried to tell me about Chris Casino. You tried to tell ME what he was all about. Who the (BLEEP) are you? You don’t know Chris, and you sure as hell don’t know me. Because if you did, there’s no way you would have tried to test my patients with you for a SECOND time. And I’m a very inpatient person. But what really amused me the most, was when you went on your little spiel about Chris selling his mother down the river to get what he wants. You even sounded like I would be surprised to hear that…..You’re DAMN right he’d sell his mother down the river. That’s why we get along so well. Hell, I sold my mom down the river for a little bit of beer money. I managed to get a six pack out of her.
(Castle thinks back to his childhood, and the not so loving relationship he had with his mother.)
KC: Serves that (BLEEP) right too. That bitch ain’t done a damn thing for me since she squeezed me out from in between her thighs. Oh well, just one less phone call to make on the holidays. What do you call that around your parts Brian? Thug Life?
KC: Then after that I almost fell asleep while you gave yourself a pity party and played the lifelong underdog card. Yeah Brian, I believe that everybody in your life told you you’d never amount to anything. I believe that they told you’d never be great at anything. Did you ever stop and think that maybe it wasn’t the masses of people throughout your life that were wrong about you. Maybe you were just too blind to see your own shortcomings. (sarcastically) It’s ok though, it happens to the best of us…..Wait, no it doesn’t. It must just be you.
(Castle seems rather bored, so he decides to take the Provincial Belt off of his waste and slings it over his shoulder. He begins to think back at all the people that have held this belt. From Static, to Minstrel, to Cartwright, to Reese. It’s at that very moment that Castle realizes that other than his fellow stablemates, he is the only true talent to ever hold this belt. The arrogant aura of his continues to grow. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to concentrate on Bruno.)
KC: Anyways, so then you pump me with a feel good underdog story about your “great days” as a football player. Who knows, cry a little more about it and they might make a Sunday night special out of it. So what if you pancaked a couple guys on the field. What level were you playing at? JV high school? Pee-Wee league? Or even worse, it could have been the Canadian Football League. That would make sense to me though.
KC: The fact of the matter is Brian, you were a shitty football player, and you’re an even shittier wrestler. You had nothing your whole life and you never will. You are right about one thing though…..You earned every bit of it. There’s something to be real proud of.
KC: I guess Brian, the only thing you showed me is that your mouth is able to write checks that your ass can’t cash. But insufficient funds or not, Wednesday night, “The Devastator” is coming to collect. Make no mistake about it CUZ!….. Cuz why?
(Castle stops briefly and for the first time pulls his sunglasses off of face and clips them to his coat. As the camera zooms in on, it’s apparent that the look in his eyes that Brian Bruno had mistaken for fear was more like hatred and unadulterated anger. An average person would be nauseated that someone this crude can be so good at what he does. Then again, we all know Kurt Castle is anything but average.)
KC: CUZ THAT’S THE DAMN TRUTH! Embrace it, or be DESTROYED by it!
(In typical Castle fashion, he puts his meaty paw right on the lens of the camera and shoves the cameraman with veritable ease. This time, the cameraman falls down, and you can hear noises of lights breaking and metal clanging against metal. The scene turns to fuzz.)