Texas Hold'em

[Rotten]

"The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back."

~ Abigail Van Buren

[Rotten Promo]

[Yes it's still black and white, and yes it's still that cheap antique like camcorder.]



[Black spikey hair, Black lipstick, Spiked dog collar around his neck. This wasn't Professor Rotten, it was Johnny and he had a twinkle in his eye.]

Johnny: You ever play poker. Texas Hold'em... It's all the rage right now. Infact I've been watching quite a bit lately on TV and it has taught me a few things that relate to this match. My match... Johnny Rotten vs Jay O'Brien.

[Johnny lifts his right hand and shows off a deck of cards. He deals out four cards. Two to himself and two to the imaginary player across from him. He shows his cards. Three of Diamonds, and the Five of Diamonds.]

Johnny: Not real great cards, I'm thinking the Three represents me, and Jeff Fox my manager is the Five. Like I said, not great, but at least were suited. Now Jay O'Brien, he probably has a great hand... Or at least we think he does, cause he comes out hard and fast, ala the Superkick at Action, and that killer promo that followed it up. Basically in poker terms, Jay comes out betting big before the blind.

[Johnny burns the top card and then flips the next three cards face up. Ace of Diamonds, King of Clubs, and the Three of Spades.]

Johnny: So I do the only thing I can in this Heads Up situation. I make the call, cut a promo the best I can and hope the cards fall my way Now in a perfect world, I would have flopped Two pair or Three of a kind, but I'll take bottom pair since it's better than nothing... And who knows maybe O'Brien blew his wad after the first promo he cut.

[Cut to a quick replay of O'Brien's second promo where he Terry Bollea'ed Johnny Rotten breaking golden Kayfabian rule #1. For those of you not born in the 70's or 80's, Terry Bollea is Hulk Hogan. You might not know that, because none of his opponents ever referred to him as that while cutting one of their promos.]

Johnny: Or not... and Jay once again bets hard off the flop. I mean he must really have the goods. What possible chance could I have..? But what the hey... I'm crazy, so I don't just call him, I raise. I cut another promo and this time, insult the man's intelligence, belittling him like only Johnny Rotten can.

[Johnny burns a card and then flips the fourth card. It's the Eight of Diamonds. He stares at the possible flush draw, which is five diamonds, he has four of them. The harsh reality is, he really only has bottom pair which is the set of threes.]

Johnny: So I wait and see what happens next. I mean O'Brien has been on top of this game from the get go. He takes every opportunity, he never backs down, but after I rip on him. After I make it a little personal... He checks.



Johnny: He does nothing... And in the world of Poker that's weakness... It's a tell. He's bluffing, and all I need to do is push All-In and force him to fold.

[Johnny pushes all of his chips to the middle of the table.]

Johnny: Kinda like in wrestling... O'Brien has been pushing the pace, till now. He paused, and now it's my turn to go on the offensive.

[Johnny burns a card and flips the river. It's the Six of Hearts. Johnny shrugs and gets up from the table. Reaching over to the other side, he flips up the two cards on the other side of the table. Big Slick, Ace of Hearts, and King of Diamonds.]

Johnny: [Rhetorical] So what does this have to do with wrestling you ask. [He doesn't wait for anyone to answer, it's rhetorical.] Simple... Jay had top two pair. In wrestling, that would be his skills in the ring, and his ability to cut great promos. Me I'm bottom pair. I got skills and all, but they're hit or miss. I'm high risk, and sometimes it pays off, and other times... Well lets just say I've ate the canvas once or twice before. The point is... I've got the balls to push all-in. I can win hands even though I don't have the best cards. Just like at Cold Snap... I might not be able to bring what O'Brien can to the table, but I'm still going to find a way...

[Wink]

[Smile]

Johnny: To Fold Him Up..!

[Static]

---------------------------------------

Training, Training, and more Training. I felt like making the Choo Choo noise. I was practically living in the gym. Jeff was coming with me today. He wanted to make sure I got one last good session in before we started our road trip for Vancouver. As I packed my bag, my thoughts wandered to the three men at the dojo. The ones that told me to find a new place to train. I hated that I had let them get to me like that. They walked all over me and I let them. Today was going to be different. Today I was going to be ready to give them a blast of Johnny Rotten.

[Fade up to Johnny Rotten dressed in his gym attire. He packs his duffel bag with a towel, soap, shampoo, a change of clothes, and most importantly, his Studded Dog Collar. You see I don't know if your catching on or not, but the collar does something for Rotten, or rather, to him. You know how in the cartoon Hercules, every time Herc put on the ring he got extra strong. Well every time, Johnny dons the Studded Collar he gets confidence. An attitude adjustment, that lets him believe in himself and gives him the freedom to say the things that he bottles up inside while in normal mode.]

Fox: You ready to go boy.

Johnny: Yep...

Fox: Good... Go warm up the car, my guts are killing me and this might take a while.

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP

[Jeff barges past Johnny in the bathroom, and for the first time, Johnny runs out avoiding the fart blast as he makes a point not to breathe until he is outside.]

Johnny: [While starting the car] You might have gotten me twelve times with the old fart game, but you didn't get me that time did ya.

[Johnny's face goes from a smug look of victory to disappointment as he remembers that he forgot his duffel bag in the bathroom. You can almost see a tear start to form.]

[Inside the bathroom, Fox sits with his pants around his ankles while singing an old Bloodhound Gang's song.]

Fox: Foxtrot... Uniform... UGGGGH [BRAAAP] Charlie... [BRAAAAAAAAAAP] Ki... Hey when did I eat corn.

[And then Fox spots the bag. Always one to respect other peoples property, Jeff decides not to look at the contents. Yeah right. So as he is fingering through all of Johnny's stuff. He notices the Collar. His hands then go to his now bruised nipples, via the titty twister Johnny gave him the other day, and it gets Jeff thinking. Why is Johnny a puss sometimes, but then other times, he is like crazy guy attitude.]

Fox: [Question] The collar. [He holds it up.] Nahhhhhhh, that's just dumb.

[But for some reason, Jeff doesn't put the collar back in the bag, and instead slides the collar in to his pant's pocket.]

[Transitional fade to the Dojo.]

[I'll skip through the montage of workout stuff, and past the training that takes place with Tsurto, and get to the reason why we're here.]

Guy: I thought I told you to find another gym.

[The shot fades up with the same bully from before pushing Johnny backwards.]

Guy: Can't you take a hint.



Guy: [Pushing] What are you stupid, punk.

[The bully gives a final push, and Johnny topples over the second guy's back. From the mat, Johnny reaches up to his neck.]

[Nothing.]

Guy2: He totally fell for that one...

Guy: So you gonna do something, or are you just gonna lie there..?

[Inching his way back, Johnny makes it to his duffel bag at the edge of the mat. While reaching in for his collar, a look of panic crosses his face.]

[Nothing.]

Guy: So that's it then...

And it was... I did nothing [Pause] Again.

[Fade to logo]