Post by D! on Dec 11, 2005 15:59:35 GMT -5
(Lights up inside the NAPW TV Control Room. The Video crew are getting ready for the Monday pre-show, chatting away and showing off their watches, as well as IPods, PSPs and assorted electronic paraphernalia. They start laughing with each other until a stern-looking D! enters the room. A couple of techs try hiding their gadgets, but most of them just look at him with guilty shock.)
D!: Wow. Christmas come early, huh, guys?
(Stone silence as we walks around the techs, surveying their new toys.)
D!: You guys have been quite busy, huh? Gearing up for Monday Night Fight, shooting promos, scouting locations, editing footage together.
(More silence. D! picks up a 60-gig IPod, inspects it, then sets it back down.)
D!: Sure looks like those Christmas bonuses came in. Second weekend in December . . . you sure were busy picking up stuff for yourselves, huh?
(An editor mumbles something.)
D!: What was that?
EDITOR: I said I'm sorry.
D!: You're sorry? Sorry for what?
(The editor clams up.)
D!: Huh? Sorry for what?
LINE SWITCHER: Listen, D!, we don't get paid a lot to begin with.
D!: I sympathize. Is that what we're talking about?
LINE SWITCHER: (Stutters.) N-no. I mean, y-yes. I mean--
CAMERA OPERATOR: Listen, D!, we like you as champ. You gotta believe that.
D!: I like you as a camera operator, Murray, so I guess we're even.
CAMERA OPERATOR: It's just that, well . . . you're a clever guy. You can bounce back from anything.
D!: Like a personal attack where the fans make me look like a chump?
CAMERA OPERATOR: (Sighs.) Look. Not all of us said "yes".
D!: But some of you did!
LINE SWITCHER: Listen, when Chris Casino pitched the idea, we figured "What the Hell", so we went along--
CAMERA OPERATOR: Only we get to the sports bar, and Casino's rented it for the afternoon--
KEY GRIP: And he paid all of these actors!
CAMERA OPERATOR: He was telling them what to say.
LINE OPERATOR: And he was laughing about it the whole time. Talking about how he's got one over you.
KEY GRIP: It was dirty, D! The whole thing was just so dirty.
D!: But you took his money anyways, didn't you?
(Pause. Even with the hum of electronics running in the background, the silence is palpable.)
D!: Well, I hope you enjoy your things. (He starts walking out of the control room.)
EDITOR: D!, hold on! You're still gonna beat this guy on Monday! Nothing's changed!
D!: Thanks. (As the door closes behind him.) Tell it to whatever fans I have left!
(The door clicks shut. What is left behind is a room full of grown men, each one at a loss as to what to say. Lights down.)
D!: Wow. Christmas come early, huh, guys?
(Stone silence as we walks around the techs, surveying their new toys.)
D!: You guys have been quite busy, huh? Gearing up for Monday Night Fight, shooting promos, scouting locations, editing footage together.
(More silence. D! picks up a 60-gig IPod, inspects it, then sets it back down.)
D!: Sure looks like those Christmas bonuses came in. Second weekend in December . . . you sure were busy picking up stuff for yourselves, huh?
(An editor mumbles something.)
D!: What was that?
EDITOR: I said I'm sorry.
D!: You're sorry? Sorry for what?
(The editor clams up.)
D!: Huh? Sorry for what?
LINE SWITCHER: Listen, D!, we don't get paid a lot to begin with.
D!: I sympathize. Is that what we're talking about?
LINE SWITCHER: (Stutters.) N-no. I mean, y-yes. I mean--
CAMERA OPERATOR: Listen, D!, we like you as champ. You gotta believe that.
D!: I like you as a camera operator, Murray, so I guess we're even.
CAMERA OPERATOR: It's just that, well . . . you're a clever guy. You can bounce back from anything.
D!: Like a personal attack where the fans make me look like a chump?
CAMERA OPERATOR: (Sighs.) Look. Not all of us said "yes".
D!: But some of you did!
LINE SWITCHER: Listen, when Chris Casino pitched the idea, we figured "What the Hell", so we went along--
CAMERA OPERATOR: Only we get to the sports bar, and Casino's rented it for the afternoon--
KEY GRIP: And he paid all of these actors!
CAMERA OPERATOR: He was telling them what to say.
LINE OPERATOR: And he was laughing about it the whole time. Talking about how he's got one over you.
KEY GRIP: It was dirty, D! The whole thing was just so dirty.
D!: But you took his money anyways, didn't you?
(Pause. Even with the hum of electronics running in the background, the silence is palpable.)
D!: Well, I hope you enjoy your things. (He starts walking out of the control room.)
EDITOR: D!, hold on! You're still gonna beat this guy on Monday! Nothing's changed!
D!: Thanks. (As the door closes behind him.) Tell it to whatever fans I have left!
(The door clicks shut. What is left behind is a room full of grown men, each one at a loss as to what to say. Lights down.)