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Post by Stylin' Kyle Roberts [REBEL] on Dec 10, 2005 4:12:28 GMT -5
(A darkened room. The only light is on two belts on a table: a NAPW Tag Title and a Gastown Wrestling Alliance Tag title. Both are engraved with the name Kyle Roberts.)
OFFSCREEN VOICE: So, I'm taking wrestling way too seriously? Dudes, is that what you think? Take a look at these belts. How they shine in the light. The gleam of that freshly polished brass. Now think of what these titles stand for: Two wrestling promotions think that I am worthy of being their champion.
You see, Cameron, Mike, these belts show that I have the trust of two separate wrestling promotions and am one of the reasons why people come out to the gym every week and spend their hard-earned cash on the wrestling product.
(Kyle Roberts enters the light, standing at the head of the table.)
KYLE ROBERTS: You're right. Wrestling is what I do, but it's not the only thing I do. However, it is one of the things that I am DAMN good at. So I tend to, I guess the word would be OBSESS, over my wrestling career.
Because it IS my career. Bruce and I make our living by winning matches. Bruce isn't a lawyer in the "real world." You don't see me working at, say, an electronics store to make ends meet. As independent wrestlers, we go around Western Canada to make enough to eat and sleep in a nice warm bed. We're not a bunch of frat boys being taken care of by Mom and Dad, or even worse, the government.
These belts bring home the bacon. They are what get us bigger and better matches in bigger and better wrestling promotions. But everyone's got to start somewhere.
You know about our history in a small-time fed in Medicine Hat, of all places. How we've been their tag champs for a good year now. And from there, we came here. To New Alberta Pro.
Let's face it. You think the big organizations CARE about the small fed? Well, yeah. They do. I can get some bookings from Japan with the tapes I send out. Snippets of matches from here. Snippets of matches from Gastown. Every bit helps, because every bit goes towards feeding and clothing Bruce and I.
So who are you two to say, "Hey, Kyle. Relax. It's one big game. Nobody cares who gets the titles. Because someone else will down the line. Everyone gets their shot."
No. Not if I'm doing my job, they won't. If I can go out there every show in matches, and WIN those matches, it's another title in the showcase at my apartment. And that's another phone call from England to get my services for a week.
Tell you what, Dudes. I'll let you in on a secret. One that I didn't think would make it all the way to Edmonton with me. But, it actually leaked out a few weeks back. Here it is:
(Kyle sits down at the table.)
Gastown certainly is a little tiny promotion nobody's heard of. It's pretty small in the grand scheme of things. Sure, a few locals know of its existence. And some wrestlers from Calgary willing to pad their resumes.
It's just like Moose Jaw Pro.
Yeah, you guys like to talk up your beginnings there. "The competition in Moose Jaw's pretty tough," you say. "They've beat us down there a lot."
You think I haven't heard of Moose Jaw Pro Wrestling? You think I didn't know of a promotion in my OWN BACKYARD? Have you read my bio on the NAPW website? Have you seen my hometown listed there? It's not a joke to make me seem funny.
I've been to the Riverview Collegiate gymnasium before. Hell, EVERY kid that grew up in Moose Jaw has been there, be it for a basketball game, or a band concert, or something. And, yeah. Here's that secret:
I started out in Moose Jaw Pro Wrestling. I trained there. I know, it was before your time, and as Alberta kids, you wouldn't have travelled to little ol' Moose Jaw to watch some wrasslin'!
You wanna know why I've never brought it up before? Why there is this promotion that you guys came from that was a mere four kilometres from where I lived that I never talk about?
It demoralized me. Almost got me out of wrestling. I'm not sure if it's the same guys running it now that were running it five years back, but I can tell you this: they HUMILIATED me.
Now, this is nothing like when I was El Ante, the Moose Javian Luchador in my early days at Gastown. I was wearing a mask, which would have been a godsend for the MJP days. Hell, the antlers I wore were a relief.
You want to know what gimmick they gave me in my hometown? Not the "football jock." No hometown hero for me.
Of all people, the DECAPITATORS were the ones who found this out. And if I find out who leaked this to those two punkass kids, I'll be visiting them with Bruce, and who knows? Maybe a polar bear! Wouldn't that be fun?
Check this out. (Kyle picks up a remote control and pushes a button. A television flares to life beside the table in the darkened room. The VCR fires up.)
Diamond (fake weeping): You see Josh, Mr. Roberts has SUCH a bad case of Headupyourass-itis that he believes The New D-X is the best tag team in the world today.
Axe: It really is the worst case we have ever seen as professional doctors. We do have a small clip of Kyle suffering through this horrible disease
Camera shows a digitally altered photo of a cartoon Little Red Riding Hood, with Kyle Robert's head with the Little Red Hiding Hood Hat. Instead of a picnic basket it is a picture of a NAPW Tag Title. Little Red Riding Kyle is shown dancing in a forest.
(The tape pauses. Kyle looks back at the camera.)
Sure, the Decaps were just having fun, you say. Putting my head on a Little Red Riding Hood cartoon.
(Kyle takes a deep breath.)
I'm sorry. This seems like a crapload of buildup for a little cartoon alteration. "Where could Kyle Roberts be going with this?"
Kyle Roberts' first, AND LAST, gimmick with Moose Jaw Pro Wrestling? Red. Riding. Roberts. The braintrusts in that fed decided, "Hey! There's a Triple H! Let's have our own Triple R! Wouldn't that be hilarious?"
And they decided to have me, a rookie on my first week with the company, play a limp-wristed lunatic. Think Goldust during the worst the WWF could give him. That about sums it up, if you dumb it down for two guys playing at the wrestling promotion game AS A LARK.
Now, why would I reveal this? Especially that before now, it seemed like that was just Decapitators having fun with Photoshop and Movie Maker?
Because it's where I started off. Where I said, "Hey, I can hack this, since it's getting me into the business I love! Because when I get to bigger and better places, it'll all be worth it!"
You know what? These titles here? They're worth my obsession. They are WORTH that piece of (BLEEP) gimmick I had to suffer through, and every one that comes along! Because this is my life!
Mike, when you see me and Bruce main eventing on worldwide Pay-Per-Views in some global company in the future, will you be saying, "Hey, good thing we relaxed. Sat back, ate some nachos. Played some video golf. Went pantsless for the hell of it. Hey, Cam! Remember when we were in NAPW? Remember how we had that match against these guys we're watching fight it out at Madison Square Gardens? And how we're now in this crappy Wetaskiwin sports bar?"
God, for your sakes, I hope not.
(Kyle leaves the table, leaving his belts on the table, glinting. And the lights go out.)
OFFSCREEN VOICE: So, I'm taking wrestling way too seriously? Dudes, is that what you think? Take a look at these belts. How they shine in the light. The gleam of that freshly polished brass. Now think of what these titles stand for: Two wrestling promotions think that I am worthy of being their champion.
You see, Cameron, Mike, these belts show that I have the trust of two separate wrestling promotions and am one of the reasons why people come out to the gym every week and spend their hard-earned cash on the wrestling product.
(Kyle Roberts enters the light, standing at the head of the table.)
KYLE ROBERTS: You're right. Wrestling is what I do, but it's not the only thing I do. However, it is one of the things that I am DAMN good at. So I tend to, I guess the word would be OBSESS, over my wrestling career.
Because it IS my career. Bruce and I make our living by winning matches. Bruce isn't a lawyer in the "real world." You don't see me working at, say, an electronics store to make ends meet. As independent wrestlers, we go around Western Canada to make enough to eat and sleep in a nice warm bed. We're not a bunch of frat boys being taken care of by Mom and Dad, or even worse, the government.
These belts bring home the bacon. They are what get us bigger and better matches in bigger and better wrestling promotions. But everyone's got to start somewhere.
You know about our history in a small-time fed in Medicine Hat, of all places. How we've been their tag champs for a good year now. And from there, we came here. To New Alberta Pro.
Let's face it. You think the big organizations CARE about the small fed? Well, yeah. They do. I can get some bookings from Japan with the tapes I send out. Snippets of matches from here. Snippets of matches from Gastown. Every bit helps, because every bit goes towards feeding and clothing Bruce and I.
So who are you two to say, "Hey, Kyle. Relax. It's one big game. Nobody cares who gets the titles. Because someone else will down the line. Everyone gets their shot."
No. Not if I'm doing my job, they won't. If I can go out there every show in matches, and WIN those matches, it's another title in the showcase at my apartment. And that's another phone call from England to get my services for a week.
Tell you what, Dudes. I'll let you in on a secret. One that I didn't think would make it all the way to Edmonton with me. But, it actually leaked out a few weeks back. Here it is:
(Kyle sits down at the table.)
Gastown certainly is a little tiny promotion nobody's heard of. It's pretty small in the grand scheme of things. Sure, a few locals know of its existence. And some wrestlers from Calgary willing to pad their resumes.
It's just like Moose Jaw Pro.
Yeah, you guys like to talk up your beginnings there. "The competition in Moose Jaw's pretty tough," you say. "They've beat us down there a lot."
You think I haven't heard of Moose Jaw Pro Wrestling? You think I didn't know of a promotion in my OWN BACKYARD? Have you read my bio on the NAPW website? Have you seen my hometown listed there? It's not a joke to make me seem funny.
I've been to the Riverview Collegiate gymnasium before. Hell, EVERY kid that grew up in Moose Jaw has been there, be it for a basketball game, or a band concert, or something. And, yeah. Here's that secret:
I started out in Moose Jaw Pro Wrestling. I trained there. I know, it was before your time, and as Alberta kids, you wouldn't have travelled to little ol' Moose Jaw to watch some wrasslin'!
You wanna know why I've never brought it up before? Why there is this promotion that you guys came from that was a mere four kilometres from where I lived that I never talk about?
It demoralized me. Almost got me out of wrestling. I'm not sure if it's the same guys running it now that were running it five years back, but I can tell you this: they HUMILIATED me.
Now, this is nothing like when I was El Ante, the Moose Javian Luchador in my early days at Gastown. I was wearing a mask, which would have been a godsend for the MJP days. Hell, the antlers I wore were a relief.
You want to know what gimmick they gave me in my hometown? Not the "football jock." No hometown hero for me.
Of all people, the DECAPITATORS were the ones who found this out. And if I find out who leaked this to those two punkass kids, I'll be visiting them with Bruce, and who knows? Maybe a polar bear! Wouldn't that be fun?
Check this out. (Kyle picks up a remote control and pushes a button. A television flares to life beside the table in the darkened room. The VCR fires up.)
Diamond (fake weeping): You see Josh, Mr. Roberts has SUCH a bad case of Headupyourass-itis that he believes The New D-X is the best tag team in the world today.
Axe: It really is the worst case we have ever seen as professional doctors. We do have a small clip of Kyle suffering through this horrible disease
Camera shows a digitally altered photo of a cartoon Little Red Riding Hood, with Kyle Robert's head with the Little Red Hiding Hood Hat. Instead of a picnic basket it is a picture of a NAPW Tag Title. Little Red Riding Kyle is shown dancing in a forest.
(The tape pauses. Kyle looks back at the camera.)
Sure, the Decaps were just having fun, you say. Putting my head on a Little Red Riding Hood cartoon.
(Kyle takes a deep breath.)
I'm sorry. This seems like a crapload of buildup for a little cartoon alteration. "Where could Kyle Roberts be going with this?"
Kyle Roberts' first, AND LAST, gimmick with Moose Jaw Pro Wrestling? Red. Riding. Roberts. The braintrusts in that fed decided, "Hey! There's a Triple H! Let's have our own Triple R! Wouldn't that be hilarious?"
And they decided to have me, a rookie on my first week with the company, play a limp-wristed lunatic. Think Goldust during the worst the WWF could give him. That about sums it up, if you dumb it down for two guys playing at the wrestling promotion game AS A LARK.
Now, why would I reveal this? Especially that before now, it seemed like that was just Decapitators having fun with Photoshop and Movie Maker?
Because it's where I started off. Where I said, "Hey, I can hack this, since it's getting me into the business I love! Because when I get to bigger and better places, it'll all be worth it!"
You know what? These titles here? They're worth my obsession. They are WORTH that piece of (BLEEP) gimmick I had to suffer through, and every one that comes along! Because this is my life!
Mike, when you see me and Bruce main eventing on worldwide Pay-Per-Views in some global company in the future, will you be saying, "Hey, good thing we relaxed. Sat back, ate some nachos. Played some video golf. Went pantsless for the hell of it. Hey, Cam! Remember when we were in NAPW? Remember how we had that match against these guys we're watching fight it out at Madison Square Gardens? And how we're now in this crappy Wetaskiwin sports bar?"
God, for your sakes, I hope not.
(Kyle leaves the table, leaving his belts on the table, glinting. And the lights go out.)