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Post by Scott [NAPW Staff] on Dec 5, 2005 23:54:40 GMT -5
(Lights up, Red’s Bowling Alley in West Edmonton Mall. Tiffany, Mike and Cam are all enjoying a casual game on lane 3. Mike as just finished up his frame and sits down across from Cam and Tiffany with a grin.)
MIKE: There’s no way Batman would lose to Wolverine.
(Cameron almost spits his White Russian across the table.)
CAM: Didn’t we finish this conversation, like, an hour ago?
MIKE: No, we didn’t. In fact, we can’t finish this conversation until you relent and admit that Wolverine doesn’t have what it takes to beat Batman.
CAM: Jesus Murphey!
TIFFANY: (Rolling her eyes.) Boys.
(Tiffany rises and takes a ball to roll her frame.)
CAM: Listen, we agreed that in a straight up fight, the Wolverine has the edge over the Bat. He’s got the adamantium claws, the quick healing factor AND the heightened senses. Batman has, what? Some bat shaped boomerangs and a grappling hook?
MIKE: Okay, first of all, Wolverine doesn’t have the admantium anymore. Magneto totally took away that advantage. Second, I only admitted that Batman would lose the FIRST such encounter.
CAM: Dude Wolverine has the metal back. And what do you mean, "first such encounter?"
MIKE: Batman is a scientist. Trial and error. He’d lose the initial encounter, but he’ll always, ALWAYS have a plan for the next time. That’s when he becomes dangerous. That’s when he cannot be beat.
CAM: But he already lost!
MIKE: The battle, yes. The war? No! He’ll never lose the war, because he’ll always have plans and contingencies in place to stop Wolverine. He’ll invent a gas to neutralise his healing factor. Or mask his scent, so Wolverine loses his advantage in a fight. Stuff like that.
CAM: Oh come on. Batman can’t do that.
MIKE: Dude! Do you READ Batman? He came up with plans to neutralise the entire Justice League if he had to! He’s the most dangerous man in the DC universe!
CAM: Because he can plan.
MIKE: Yes, because he can plan. Now, tell me, can Wolverine plan? He’s a creature of instinct… a Man-Beast. In a fight, he’s all intensity and primal rage. There is no cool planning, no rational calculations, nothing. Just anger. That’s why, after that first fight, Batman will beat him every time.
CAM: Alright! I relent. Batman can beat Wolverine.
MIKE: Because Batman is the best.
CAM: Is there a point to this conversation?
MIKE: We, Cam, are like Batman. You can beat us once, but we’ll be ready for you next time.
CAM: That sounds an awful lot like work. I’m not too certain you quite understand what you’re talking about anymore.
MIKE: Hear me out! D-X are like Batman villains, right? Kyle’s totally the Riddler.
CAM: Dresses in green. Cowardly, always outsmarts himself. Yeah, I can see it.
MIKE: And Bruce is totally Bane. Strong, and smart. Not the movie Bane, the comic book Bane.
CAM: Uh, Bane broke Batman’s spine.
MIKE: Not the point! The point is, if we’re like Batman, and they’re Batman villains…
CAM: (Grins.) Then we’ll be ready for them next time.
MIKE: Precisely. We won’t be so easy to jump, like tonight.
(Tiffany is suddenly standing over them, having bowled a poor frame. She crosses her arms and frowns at the two Dudes.)
TIFFANY: Okay, if anyone in NAPW is Batman, it’s Ravager. Did you see what he did to that Misery guy? That was a plan.
MIKE: You don’t read comic books, why are you suddenly an expert?
TIFFANY: (Swoons) Christian Bale is sexy.
CAM: Well, I might have guessed.
TIFFANY: Secondly, you guys shouldn’t be worrying about D-X. Kyle and Bruce are the LEAST of your worries right now. They weren’t even attacking you specifically, they tried to take out the whole division. And Cam, you totally nailed Stylin’ Kyle.
CAM: Yeah, did you see that? I took him right out of his boots!
MIKE: A lesson he won’t soon forget, I’m sure.
TIFFANY: So, with that in mind, don’t you think we should instead be planning for our match with Mirage on Thursday?
MIKE: A plan?
CAM: Tiffany please, we don’t come up with plans at the bowling alley.
MIKE: That’s what video golf is for later.
TIFFANY: So long as you two are taking this seriously. I really want us to win our first match!
MIKE: Tiffany! You WORRY too much. We have things well in hand.
TIFFANY: Spoken like a true procrastinator!
CAM: Just trust us Tiffany. We’ll have things in hand come Thursday. We’ll handle things in the ring, you get the crowd pumped up.
TIFFANY: (Smiles) It is what I do best.
MIKE: Right. More importantly though, Cam, I believe you’re up next.
CAM: Oh, jeez!
(Cameron rushes over and grabs a ball. Mike and Tiffany laugh and watch him throw a gutter ball on his first try.)
TIFFANY: (Still watching Cam) You guys don’t have a plan at all.
MIKE: (Also watching Cam) Oh, heck, no. We’ve got ‘till Thursday.
( Lights down.)
MIKE: There’s no way Batman would lose to Wolverine.
(Cameron almost spits his White Russian across the table.)
CAM: Didn’t we finish this conversation, like, an hour ago?
MIKE: No, we didn’t. In fact, we can’t finish this conversation until you relent and admit that Wolverine doesn’t have what it takes to beat Batman.
CAM: Jesus Murphey!
TIFFANY: (Rolling her eyes.) Boys.
(Tiffany rises and takes a ball to roll her frame.)
CAM: Listen, we agreed that in a straight up fight, the Wolverine has the edge over the Bat. He’s got the adamantium claws, the quick healing factor AND the heightened senses. Batman has, what? Some bat shaped boomerangs and a grappling hook?
MIKE: Okay, first of all, Wolverine doesn’t have the admantium anymore. Magneto totally took away that advantage. Second, I only admitted that Batman would lose the FIRST such encounter.
CAM: Dude Wolverine has the metal back. And what do you mean, "first such encounter?"
MIKE: Batman is a scientist. Trial and error. He’d lose the initial encounter, but he’ll always, ALWAYS have a plan for the next time. That’s when he becomes dangerous. That’s when he cannot be beat.
CAM: But he already lost!
MIKE: The battle, yes. The war? No! He’ll never lose the war, because he’ll always have plans and contingencies in place to stop Wolverine. He’ll invent a gas to neutralise his healing factor. Or mask his scent, so Wolverine loses his advantage in a fight. Stuff like that.
CAM: Oh come on. Batman can’t do that.
MIKE: Dude! Do you READ Batman? He came up with plans to neutralise the entire Justice League if he had to! He’s the most dangerous man in the DC universe!
CAM: Because he can plan.
MIKE: Yes, because he can plan. Now, tell me, can Wolverine plan? He’s a creature of instinct… a Man-Beast. In a fight, he’s all intensity and primal rage. There is no cool planning, no rational calculations, nothing. Just anger. That’s why, after that first fight, Batman will beat him every time.
CAM: Alright! I relent. Batman can beat Wolverine.
MIKE: Because Batman is the best.
CAM: Is there a point to this conversation?
MIKE: We, Cam, are like Batman. You can beat us once, but we’ll be ready for you next time.
CAM: That sounds an awful lot like work. I’m not too certain you quite understand what you’re talking about anymore.
MIKE: Hear me out! D-X are like Batman villains, right? Kyle’s totally the Riddler.
CAM: Dresses in green. Cowardly, always outsmarts himself. Yeah, I can see it.
MIKE: And Bruce is totally Bane. Strong, and smart. Not the movie Bane, the comic book Bane.
CAM: Uh, Bane broke Batman’s spine.
MIKE: Not the point! The point is, if we’re like Batman, and they’re Batman villains…
CAM: (Grins.) Then we’ll be ready for them next time.
MIKE: Precisely. We won’t be so easy to jump, like tonight.
(Tiffany is suddenly standing over them, having bowled a poor frame. She crosses her arms and frowns at the two Dudes.)
TIFFANY: Okay, if anyone in NAPW is Batman, it’s Ravager. Did you see what he did to that Misery guy? That was a plan.
MIKE: You don’t read comic books, why are you suddenly an expert?
TIFFANY: (Swoons) Christian Bale is sexy.
CAM: Well, I might have guessed.
TIFFANY: Secondly, you guys shouldn’t be worrying about D-X. Kyle and Bruce are the LEAST of your worries right now. They weren’t even attacking you specifically, they tried to take out the whole division. And Cam, you totally nailed Stylin’ Kyle.
CAM: Yeah, did you see that? I took him right out of his boots!
MIKE: A lesson he won’t soon forget, I’m sure.
TIFFANY: So, with that in mind, don’t you think we should instead be planning for our match with Mirage on Thursday?
MIKE: A plan?
CAM: Tiffany please, we don’t come up with plans at the bowling alley.
MIKE: That’s what video golf is for later.
TIFFANY: So long as you two are taking this seriously. I really want us to win our first match!
MIKE: Tiffany! You WORRY too much. We have things well in hand.
TIFFANY: Spoken like a true procrastinator!
CAM: Just trust us Tiffany. We’ll have things in hand come Thursday. We’ll handle things in the ring, you get the crowd pumped up.
TIFFANY: (Smiles) It is what I do best.
MIKE: Right. More importantly though, Cam, I believe you’re up next.
CAM: Oh, jeez!
(Cameron rushes over and grabs a ball. Mike and Tiffany laugh and watch him throw a gutter ball on his first try.)
TIFFANY: (Still watching Cam) You guys don’t have a plan at all.
MIKE: (Also watching Cam) Oh, heck, no. We’ve got ‘till Thursday.
( Lights down.)