Post by D! on Nov 24, 2005 11:44:40 GMT -5
(Lights up. Outside shot of the parking lot outside Thursday Night Action! Peeling into the lot is a mango-coloured PT Cruiser, the NAPW Champion's car of choice! D! meticuously slaloms through the parking lot, then suddenly brakes to a squealing halt. A throng of interviewers, reporters and camera crew are directly in the Cruiser's way.)
REPORTERS: D! D! Over here! D!
JOSH REYNOLDS: D! Would you be able to answer a few questions?
D!: (Sticking his head out the window.) Would you be able to answer one question? Why are you all in my parking stall? Let me park! Move out of the way, ya slow children!
(Cut. The Cruiser is now parked safely, and the throng surrounds it.)
JOSH REYNOLDS: About Black Thursday--
D!: Everybody move away from my door so that I can get out of the car!
(Cut. D! is standing before the building entrance, with the throng of media directly between him and the door.)
D!: Now how am I supposed to--oh, forget it. First question.
JOSH REYNOLDS: D! You've been strangely silent since Monday Night Fight went off the air! NAPW fans want to know the whole story!
D!: The whole story, Josh, is that I'm stll not a hundred percent after Plague sent me to the E.R. I've been focusing on rehabbing my injury so that I'll be in my best physical condition seven days from now.
REYNOLDS: Are the rumours true about Friday Night Whyte?
D!: Absolutely. It's back this Friday night and my guests will be the Tag Team Champions, The New & Improved D-X.
ADAMS: Megan Adams of the Edmonton Sun. Last Monday night you sent a powerful message to Ravager. Later that night Ravager said that he respected you and would look forward to teaming up with you again. What are your feelings on Ravager and would you team up with him again?
D!: Ravager and I both have our own battles to fight on Black Thursday, and that will keep our paths from crossing for now. I wish him the best of luck in his Triple Threat title challenge.
As for teaming up, I'll work with whoever the commissioner and the NAPW fans want me to. Otherwise, no comment.
REYNOLDS: What do you think of tonight's main event?
D!: Ravager / Lobo? Ravager's definitely the favourite, and he's a pugnacious son of a bitch, to boot, but you can't count Lobo out as a serious athlete. I'm gonna enjoy watching the match, I think we're looking at a real mat classic.
ADAMS: Do you have any words for Plague?
D!: Trombone. Gel. Credenza. Monkey.
ADAMS: And do you have any sentences?
D!: Plague! You've got one week--ONE! WEEK! to save your career and win back (tapping the gold on his shoulder) the NAPW Title. It's gonna be you, me, two out of three falls. Think about it. Think about how hard NAPW Superstars work to get one fall. Think of the hellacious whupping Axe had to take in order to beat The Beast. Think of all the dirty tricks Static had to pull to get three seconds on Ravager. Hell, think about our first match, and that was twenty-five minutes long, to boot! Now think about wrestling three of those in a row. Hell, I'm sure you know the consequences, 'cause you made the challenge, peanut!
And you know what? There's a million reasons why you could feel confident right now. The fact that I'm injured? D'you think that's your "in"? Well, factor it out of the math, Streppy, because of one simple fact: I don't care. I'm willing to suffer eighty months of pain if it means that I can dropkick you through the field goals of suck. I'm willing to do anything to myself, pay any permanent price to get you out of the picture for good. Not just for my title, but for the Tag titles, the Provincial title, the TV title, and every other wrestler working here at NAPW. You're exactly what you say you are: a disease, a sickness, a cancer that (BLEEP) up everything that's great about this company.
ADAMS: I'm sorry, you can't say (BLEEP). Would you say "darn"?
D!: (BLEEP) no. You're all of those things, Plague, and you've been running scared for three weeks now, because I've done in one month what you've claimed has been impossible your entire career--I've found the cure. And when I end The Plague--once and for all--and send shockwaves through the UWP, every other fed will know just how tough NAPW is. And in the NAPW itself, I'll get to dance with a new challenger.
As for you?
You'll have to buy a ticket.
Now, if there are no further questions, I believe that I'm gonna go inside and enjoy Action! Thank you and good night!
(D! pushes his way through the media. He gets to the door, stops and turns around. The entire throng looks sad and dejected.)
(Pause.)
D!: What's wrong?
CAMERAMAN: (Pouting.) Can we come, too?
(Pause.)
D!: (Holding his arms up and smiling.) Of course!
THE MEDIA: Yaaaaaaaaay!!!
D!: C'mon, guys! Let's all sit at ringside!
(The media cheers even harder. Excitedly, they all follow D! into the building. Lights down.)
REPORTERS: D! D! Over here! D!
JOSH REYNOLDS: D! Would you be able to answer a few questions?
D!: (Sticking his head out the window.) Would you be able to answer one question? Why are you all in my parking stall? Let me park! Move out of the way, ya slow children!
(Cut. The Cruiser is now parked safely, and the throng surrounds it.)
JOSH REYNOLDS: About Black Thursday--
D!: Everybody move away from my door so that I can get out of the car!
(Cut. D! is standing before the building entrance, with the throng of media directly between him and the door.)
D!: Now how am I supposed to--oh, forget it. First question.
JOSH REYNOLDS: D! You've been strangely silent since Monday Night Fight went off the air! NAPW fans want to know the whole story!
D!: The whole story, Josh, is that I'm stll not a hundred percent after Plague sent me to the E.R. I've been focusing on rehabbing my injury so that I'll be in my best physical condition seven days from now.
REYNOLDS: Are the rumours true about Friday Night Whyte?
D!: Absolutely. It's back this Friday night and my guests will be the Tag Team Champions, The New & Improved D-X.
ADAMS: Megan Adams of the Edmonton Sun. Last Monday night you sent a powerful message to Ravager. Later that night Ravager said that he respected you and would look forward to teaming up with you again. What are your feelings on Ravager and would you team up with him again?
D!: Ravager and I both have our own battles to fight on Black Thursday, and that will keep our paths from crossing for now. I wish him the best of luck in his Triple Threat title challenge.
As for teaming up, I'll work with whoever the commissioner and the NAPW fans want me to. Otherwise, no comment.
REYNOLDS: What do you think of tonight's main event?
D!: Ravager / Lobo? Ravager's definitely the favourite, and he's a pugnacious son of a bitch, to boot, but you can't count Lobo out as a serious athlete. I'm gonna enjoy watching the match, I think we're looking at a real mat classic.
ADAMS: Do you have any words for Plague?
D!: Trombone. Gel. Credenza. Monkey.
ADAMS: And do you have any sentences?
D!: Plague! You've got one week--ONE! WEEK! to save your career and win back (tapping the gold on his shoulder) the NAPW Title. It's gonna be you, me, two out of three falls. Think about it. Think about how hard NAPW Superstars work to get one fall. Think of the hellacious whupping Axe had to take in order to beat The Beast. Think of all the dirty tricks Static had to pull to get three seconds on Ravager. Hell, think about our first match, and that was twenty-five minutes long, to boot! Now think about wrestling three of those in a row. Hell, I'm sure you know the consequences, 'cause you made the challenge, peanut!
And you know what? There's a million reasons why you could feel confident right now. The fact that I'm injured? D'you think that's your "in"? Well, factor it out of the math, Streppy, because of one simple fact: I don't care. I'm willing to suffer eighty months of pain if it means that I can dropkick you through the field goals of suck. I'm willing to do anything to myself, pay any permanent price to get you out of the picture for good. Not just for my title, but for the Tag titles, the Provincial title, the TV title, and every other wrestler working here at NAPW. You're exactly what you say you are: a disease, a sickness, a cancer that (BLEEP) up everything that's great about this company.
ADAMS: I'm sorry, you can't say (BLEEP). Would you say "darn"?
D!: (BLEEP) no. You're all of those things, Plague, and you've been running scared for three weeks now, because I've done in one month what you've claimed has been impossible your entire career--I've found the cure. And when I end The Plague--once and for all--and send shockwaves through the UWP, every other fed will know just how tough NAPW is. And in the NAPW itself, I'll get to dance with a new challenger.
As for you?
You'll have to buy a ticket.
Now, if there are no further questions, I believe that I'm gonna go inside and enjoy Action! Thank you and good night!
(D! pushes his way through the media. He gets to the door, stops and turns around. The entire throng looks sad and dejected.)
(Pause.)
D!: What's wrong?
CAMERAMAN: (Pouting.) Can we come, too?
(Pause.)
D!: (Holding his arms up and smiling.) Of course!
THE MEDIA: Yaaaaaaaaay!!!
D!: C'mon, guys! Let's all sit at ringside!
(The media cheers even harder. Excitedly, they all follow D! into the building. Lights down.)